The 2nd Annual Fannie Awards
by Zaratan
Summary: Welcome to the start of the 2006 Fannie Awards. Be sure to place your votes by January 31st, and stay tuned for more on February 17th.
1. Fannie Awards Commercial

**The Second Annual Fannie Awards**

The pale dawn's light crept out from behind the darkening stormclouds. Slowly, almost gently, the pale light bathed the field, allowing the early morn's dawn to shimmer off the blades of grass. This field, to the passing eye, seemed so tranquil and calm. Long, green grass, highlighted every so often with bright yellow and red flowers, made the field seem an almost an idyllic place, even with the skies above threatening to darken the tranquility again. However, that tranquility was quickly shattered anyways, as the two groups moved onto the edges of the field, their heavy footsteps trampling the delicate blades and blossoms beneath their feet.

Armour glinted brightly as more clouds cleared above them. Deadly, dangerous weapons shone in the pale light. In this once peaceful scene, two forces stared out across the field, their anger evident, even across the great distance. Finally, the two armies ground to a halt, meeting their opponent's eyes across the ground.

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Surforst, resplendant in his white armour, rode up to the front of the group. His steed, a deep black stallion, snorted as he rode in front of the troops, his eyes meeting each and every one of them. He rode back to the middle of the line, pausing to gaze over the essembled mass. He took a deep breath, taking a moment to look across the field.

"You see them, don't you?" He paused, letting the statement linger. "You see them there. They are a threat to everything we hold dear." His eyes turned back to his troops, looking for hesitation. "You know what they say, don't you? They want to destroy everything we believe in. Even now, they refuse to believe the truth, the truth that we hold dear to our hearts. But we know the truth, don't we? We know that the truth we hold dear will hold strong, that we are in the right."

Surforst lifted his head, gazing skyward. "For we know, in our heart of hearts, that Kim and Ron will be FOREVER!"

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King in Yellow listened calmly as Surforst's voice was heard across the field. Even though the words could not be heard, the meaning was self-evident. His white charger was restless, but he reigned the beast in. He turned his attention from across the field to his own troops.

"They fear us you know." He let the words linger, making sure the meaning was clear. "They fear who we are. They fear what we think. Some of them even call us deviants for it. But we know better, don't we?"

King in Yellow gazed over his troops and smiled. "We know that we are not the things they claim we are. Are we not just men and women, as they are? Yet they fear us. Why? Because our beliefs differ from theirs? To them, we are different, something to be feared. But we are not. Our ideas may seem strange to some, but does that mean we should tolerate their mistrust?"

King in Yellow rose up before the assembled mass, looking them over. "I say, we DO NOT! We did not start this conflict, but we sure as hell are going to finish it. For we are KIGO!"

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Surforst was quickly joined by his generals Yvj and MrDrP, flanking him on either side. He nodded to them, and backed up a step.

MrDrP smiled to the crowd, though a hardness remained in his gaze. "We did not seek conflict, but that is our only recourse. They have left us no choice. We must do what we can to preserve our way of life."

"Will you fight for us?" Yvj looked over the group, and could see the resolve in their eyes. "Will you help us? We know you, each and every one of you. Now, it is the time to fight for what we believe in!"

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Blackbird strode up beside King in Yellow, drawing their attention to him. "But it is not just the Kigo that stand with us this day. All those termed deviants stand with us to fight! The Ron/Bons..." a cheer rises from the right, "the Rongos..." a cheer from the left sounds out, "the Drakkims... " a tiny cheer sounds out from the back, "And even the Rontors... Dirons..." Blackbird paused, looking over at Atomicfire. "Umm... what do you call a Ron/Dr. Director?"

Atomicfire shrugged.

Blackbird let the moment pass, smiling once more. "All of us stand together, to fight the oppression. Together, we are strong. Together, we shall stand VICTORIOUS!"

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Surforst rode out in front once more, feeling the energy from the crowd. "Now is the time to stand together. Now is the time to be strong, to stand up for what we believe in. NOW IS THE TIME FOR ACTION! ARE YOU WITH ME?"

A resounding cheer sounds out from the group, audible for miles around.

"THEN LET THEM KNOW THAT WE ARE COMING. LET THEM FEEL THE GROUND TREMBLE WITH OUR APPROACH! FOR WE ARE KIM/RON, AND WE SHALL BE VICTORIOUS!"

Surforst turned his steed around. With the draw of his sword, he pointed it at the enemy. His steed rose up on its hind legs, and Surforst reveled in the moment.

"CHARGE!"

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King in Yellow nodded to Blackbird, and his voice rose higher. "They wish to suppress our individuality, our creativity, but I say nay. We will not supress ourselves because they fear our ideas. We are who we are, and NOTHING will ever change that. DO YOU STAND WITH ME? DO YOU FIGHT WITH ME?"

The crowd roared in approval, beating their swords against their shields.

King in Yellow grabbed up the lance beside him, hoisting it high overhead. "THEN LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU WON'T STAND FOR IT! SCREAM IT OUT! TODAY, WE END THIS!"

He turned, pointing his lance at the now on-rushing force.

"ATTACK!"

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The very ground trembled as the two forces poured across the field. The very ground churned beneath their feet, both sides voices raised in determination. The few birds still on the field took flight quickly, their rapid ascent a panicked response. Both sides were now close enough now to make out the voices and faces across from them, and quietly, foes were targeted. Each sides goals were evident, the conflict would end, here and now.

The forces weren't more than ten feet apart though when the heavens suddenly opened before them. Both sides lurched to a stop as a blinding light shone forth from in front of them, halting all in their tracks. Eyes squinted through the brightness, trying desperately to find the cause of this startling light, but all they could make out was a dark shape bathed in light.

The light shone brightly for a few moments more before dimming, and both sides could only gasp as a single, solitary figure stepped forth from the light, his hands raised at his sides as if he could hold the two forces at bay all by himself.

"STOP!"

The voice was commanding and powerful, and both sides could only look on in awe. Zaratan smiled at this, and he slowly opened his eyes. "This is not the way my people. There is no need for this conflict." His eyes swept over the assembled masses, his eyes sad. "Please, there is always a better way."

Voices rang out from the crowd. "But they hate us..." "They want to destroy us..." "We need to..."

"SILENCE!"

The shouts and murmurs disappeared, and Zaratan stood proud before them. "This violence must end! We should be able to get along without all this acrimony and hate. Please? Can you not see that this conflict is tearing us apart. And with the Fannie Awards starting soon..."

"The Fannie Awards?" Commander Argus glanced down at his watch. "Oh man, I'm late! The Fannies are starting! Come on everybody!"

Swords clattered to the ground, and the entire mass as one bolted from the field, unheedful of the solitary figure they trampled beneath their feet in their streamed off the field. Even faster than it filled, the field was empty, except for two lone figues.

Mattb shook his head as he marched across the field, peering into the small crater where his friend's body had been crushed. "You know, I told you it wasn't smart to get in the middle of them. You could have just as easily have stood to the side and said all that."

A small puff of dust flew away from Zaratan's face. Slowly, he raised his head, glaring up a Mattb. "Just shut up and help me up."

Mattb just grinned, grabbing Zaratan by the arm. When he was standing, Mattb pressed on his friend's arm experimentally. "You know, you feel softer. I think you've been tenderized."

Zaratan just groaned, and started limping off the field. "You know, this is not a good omen for the Fannie Awards.

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That's right folks, it's almost Fannie Awards time. You still have time to place your votes though. Send me a PM or email with your votes before midnight, January 31st EST to take part in the event of the season. Hosted by myself and Mattb3671, it's something no one should miss! Then, on Saturday, February 17th, the 2006 Fannie Awards are presented. So break out your dancing clothes, because we are going to have a party!

Check out http // intbike . com / fannie2 . html for all the details! (please remove the spaces in the web address)

Best Writer -  
Best New Writer (started in 2006) -  
Best Story Overall –  
Best Series Overall -  
Best One-shot Overall -  
Best Novel-sized Story Overall (100,000 words or more) -  
Best Comedy –  
Best Romance -  
Best Action/Adventure -  
Best Drama -  
Best Crossover/Fusion -  
Best K/R Story -  
Best Kigo Story -  
Best Alternative Pairing Story (Ron/Bon, Kim/Drakken, Shego/Barkin etc.) -  
Best Original Character –  
Best Minor Character (From show, but expanded upon. ie. Yori, Tara, etc.) -  
Best AU Story –  
Best Original Character Name (Following the KP naming scheme) –  
Best Villain –  
Best Single Line –


	2. The Red Carpet

Welcome folks, this is your host, Jason "Zaratan" Jones, welcoming you all to the 2nd Annual Fannie Awards. I just want to remind everyone that, while I did write a lot of this material, most presentations and all acceptance speeches are the property of the contributors themselves, and are only edited lightly to maintain the flow of the awards presentation. The core of all these materials were written as is by the writers themselves. I do take credit though for blending it all together, as well as my own material (and Mattb3671's, but he let me... does anyone else think that could be a bad idea lol). I hope everyone enjoys this little work, with over 50 percent original material that will hopefully allow this past the website that likes to ban things like this and suspend the authors... so no telling on me please.

Anyways, on with the show!

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Spotlights shine brightly in front of the Middleton Auditorium, highlighting the large banner out front declaring the momentous event of the day; The Second Annual Fannie Awards!

The crowds had gathered around, hoping for a glimpse of some of the celebrities coming to the huge affair. Standing front and center on the red carpet, microphone in hand, was Summer Gale, resplendant in a bright red gown that trailed low, slit up the side. Her hair was up, and she smiled brightly as the camera trained on her.

"Welcome folks, to the event of the year, the Second Annual Fannie Awards. This is Summer Gale, and this is Fannie Watch!"

A harsh whisper is heard in the background, and Summer looks flustered.

Her voice drops to a whisper, vainly trying to cover the microphone. "Of course I know what that sounds like, I'm just reading the script. Blame them, not me!"

Her smile returns quickly to her face. "We are here on the red carpet, hoping to get a word with some of the stars of the show, as well as many of the brilliant writers that have come to make this event a tremendous success in the past. Oh, and it looks like our guests are just starting to arrive. Let's see who... oh my, it's CaptainKodak and Shego!"

The crowd quickly responds as CaptainKodak first steps free from the limo, then holds his hand out for Shego to take. She smiles smugly as she steps free from the limo, and quickly ties her arm with his. Summer takes this moment to pounce on the pair.

"Captain Kodak, Captain, how does it feel to be nominated for five awards, including Best Writer and Best Story?"

"Well Summer, I feel very honored to be here. This has been a difficult year for me health and workwise but I was able to get a number of projects done. I look forward to this evening, as I hope to see my best freind Classic Cowboy show the world that the Classic Cowboy Syndrone is a pile of buffalo chips.

"And Shego, you could have chosen from any number of eligible men at this event. What was it about the Captain that made up your mind to attend with him?

"He's the only dashing man around that treats me like a woman. I like that. Besides there are things a younger woman can learn from an older man, if you know what I mean. Grrwrrrr."

Summer allows the pair to pass, smiling brightly. "And we have our first guests folks. Isn't this exciting? The big event is only a short time away, but expect many more people before the night is through. Oh, and now... folks, it's TexasDad."

Summer waits anxiously beside the limo as the doors open, and TexasDad takes a step out, smiling brightly. "TexasDad, you are here at the special invitation of Jason "Zaratan" Jones. You're even presenting the award for Best Writer. Can you let us in on the secret, we hear it will be big?

BIG? Did you say BIG? Did you see Blackbird's head after being nominated? Talk about BIG. You know Little Missy, everything is BIG in TEXAS. Yes Sir, TEXAS is a BIG state.

TexasDad, flashes a smile, waves to the crowd and heads inside.

Summer smiles, watching TexasDad head inside. "Well, no answers there folks, but if they have a surprise in store, you know it has to be good. Oh folks, now we have a real treat... it's Classic Cowboy!"

Classic Cowboy doesn't even get out of the limo before Summer pounces on him. "Sir, you have been called the master of the cross-over/fusion, yet you were shut out of the last Fannie Awards. They have even started calling it Classic Cowboy syndrome, getting votes for so many stories that you fail to win. How do you feel about that, and what do you think your chances are this year?

Classic Cowboy blinks a couple times before adjusting his cowboy hat and glancing back to the limo. "Barbara. Helena. Dinah." he calls out as three little five year old girls with vague resemblences to Kim, Bonnie, and Tara file out of the limo, dressed in SECURITY teeshirts, and form a line infront of Classic Cowboy and salute.

"Birds of Prey, reporting for duty, SIR!" Barbara calls out while standing at attention along with the other two Semi-Original Characters from The Batman.

"Birds, ATTACK!" The Cowboy calls out while pointing to Summer.

The girls hesitate while Barbara sucks on her pointer finger. "But mama said no more blood shed ..."

Classic Cowboy smiles, "Bruising is fine, hon." The girls squeal and tackle the screaming Summer. The Cowboy looks around the crowd, "ANYBODY ELSE GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY BOUT THIS CCS?!?" silence. "I didn't think so. Let's go girls."

Classic Cowboy walks on with Dinah, Helena, and Barbara skipping along behind.

Summer straightens herself out, watching angrily as Classic Cowboy and his 'posse' head inside. "Rotten little children... that's why I never wanted any. Little monsters, that's all they are."

"Summer, we're live here."

Summer blushes slightly, turning back to the camera and smiling. "It's such a thrill to get all these people together for this momentous event, and we have plenty of guests to go. We're still waiting on our hosts, as well as a great many writers. We are also waiting intently for Starving Lunatic, the one who has set a record with a monumental sixteen top three finishes here at this years event, so you know we'll want... wait, we have anouther guest showing up... it's Blackbird folks, and it appears he has a ravishing young woman with him."

Blackbird exits quickly, offering a hand to his beautiful companion. He smiles when he sees Summer approach.

"Blackbird, you have been nominated for three awards, but you expressed pessimism before the top three were announced. Has your attitude changed, now that you are up for three different awards?"

"Hmmm...a little," he replied thoughtfully. "Though I'm still not quite sure I'm going to win. I'm up against some pretty stiff competition. People who have been around longer than I have and are a lot more well known. Still...should be fun to see and here's hoping, right?" he finished as he held up two crossed fingers.

"And this beautiful woman with you?"

"Oh this is Jen Credible. She's actually one of the nominees as well. Kinda," he explained.

"Yeah it turns out people really like my name," she clarified.

"And in that dress I'm sure they'll like more of you," Blackbird smirked. 

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"Ah, it'll be fine. Now come on we better find the good seats before they're taken."

"Thank you Blackbird." Summer turned back to the camera smiling brightly. "And our next guest is coming up right now folks. It's King in Yellow folks!"

A man stepped free from the limo, to the cheers of the crowd. "Sir, you have been one of the most prolific authors on the site for the past year. How do you think that will play into your chances at winning today?"

"Uh, I don't think you want me."

"I don't?"

Only then did Summer realize a young woman had also emerged from the limo. The man turned for the girl, "It's for you, dear."

"Wow! What am I supposed to say?"

"Remind them you've only been writing for about six months, but many of your stories are really rather short."

The girl grabbed the microphone. "Yay, peoples! Thanks for all the support. Really, I don't feel like I've written much at all."

Yes, but--," Summer interrupted. "There were more than twenty stories. Does that affect your chances for winning?"

"Winning?" she asked.

"Tell them it split up your votes and means you got Classic Cowboyed in KiGo," the man whispered.

"Did I write that many? It probably means I got Classical Cowgirled somewhere. Can I sing you the songs I had to learned for Hoot? I had the part of Grace."

"No, dear," the man said, taking her by the arm. "We need to go inside."

"YOU!" All three turned at the bellow, to see an angry Classic Cowboy standing at the doors. "You were warned! Birds, get the man, the girl is just his helpless pawn in all this!"

As one, the three girls swarmed over him, beating him mercilessly. He bolted through the open doors, chased by the three little girls and a still angry Classic Cowboy. Through all this, the young girl looked surprised, before just shrugging and walking after them. She paused at the door, waving back at the crowd. "Thank you everybody!"

Summer just gave silent thanks that she wasn't on the recieving end again. "Well, we'll have to see how she does tonight folks. Isn't this great folks? All these different people, different views, and they all come to the Fannies together as a single community. And now we have the inestimable Commander Argus arriving."

Commander Argus stepped from the limo, holding his hand out for the young woman with him. Summer moved in quickly. "Commander, you are up for a number of awards. Which one do you think you have the best chance in?"

raises an eyebrow at Summer "Haven't you heard? I've already been CCSed in one major category. I'm just happy to be nominated."

"And this beautiful young woman with you?"

"I'm sure you know Amethyst Stoppable. Kim and Ron's daughter-in-law and time-travelling do-gooder." Ammie is wearing a sparkling strapless and backless gown in her signature purple.

"Well, folks, that was the Commander and his lovely date. And who do we see next... it's cpneb! And he is with the very beautiful and talented Tara.

"Well, folks, that was the Commander and his lovely date. And who do we see next... it's cpneb! And he is with the very beautiful and talented Tara.

cpneb carefully stepped from the limo, his polished black cane steadying him as he reached back and offered his hand to his business associate.

Tara extended her slender fingers and swung one leg out of the limo, and the fishnet stockings and 3-inch dark stiletto heels flashed for a moment and then disappeared under her shimmering deep-blue evening gown. She swung the other leg out, and stood, revealing the halter top with the string of black pearls around her neck that shimmered in the Klieg lights. Cpneb crooked his right arm, and he stepped forward with Tara to allow the other occupants to exit the limo.

Wade stepped out to thunderous applause: he hadn't been here in person last year, and the crowd acknowledged him and his newly-found freedom. His black tux and maroon cummerbund fit him to a tee, and he reached back for another hand, and the slender fingers came out along with the legs with shimmering emerald-green hose and matching 1-inch heels.

Jocelyn stepped out of the limo and waved at the crowd, her emerald-green halter dress matching Tara's in design and form (not to mention tightness), then took Wade's proffered arm.

Wade then extended his hand again, and Rebecca Jane Casey exited the limo, and Global Justice's recruiting web site crashed within moments.

Rebecca was wearing her Global Justice dress blues, and she looked stunning. Her beret was perfectly placed, and the skirt had just the right length and amount of slit to conceal and reveal and allow weapons access, as well. Her black 3-inch stiletto heels, however, were **not** regulation as she walked next to Joss, as they joined cpneb. Wade leaned over and whispered something to Joss that resulted in her slapping the back of his head and pulling him around so that she was next to cpneb as they entered.

"Cpneb, you've never taken the road most traveled, opting instead to tell stories focusing on others than many have left as minor additions. Tell me, what was your inspiration?

"First, Summer, please allow me to tell you what a pleasure it is to finally meet you," cpneb takes her unoccupied hand and kisses it, bending low. "I've been a big fan of yours," he continued as he rose to look directly at her face.

"Summer, some of my inspiration is personal," he continued, "from my early years growing up in West Texas, and some of it is from friends' experiences, but most of what you read was just gathered while listening to these wonderful young people so willing to tell me their stories. I listened, and you see the results."

"And Tara, you sure seem excited. What do you think your date's chances are?"

"I'd love to claim him as my date, but I'm too late: he's been happily married for 22 years as of three days ago," Tara responded, her bright voice almost contrasting the allure that she gave off. "I'm here as a 'Friend of Jade,' and I came in to discuss my new involvement in the Blue Eyes, Shining saga. That, and to talk to some of my "students," and she smiled, flashing perfect teeth and reaching over and kissing cpneb on the cheek.

"BRANDED!" yelled Joss, causing a laugh from the crowd and giggles from Rebecca Jane and Tara.

"And Wade, Joss, you two sure seem excited. What are your thoughts on what might happen tonight?

"Well, Summer, I was disappointed that Jocelyn didn't make the finals for the minor character role, but that's not important. I'm just happy to be here with cpneb, Rebecca Jane, Tara, and my Jocelyn (she squeezes his hand) and enjoy the night."

"I'm happy to be here, too, Summer" Joss added with a big grin. "This is a spankin' awards ceremony, even better than last year, and I'm looking forward to the awards being handed out and hoping that cpneb's talents are recognized."

"That," Wade continued, "and hand out our "Friends of Jade" T-shirts that I had shipped here last week; I came over earlier and confirmed that the boxes all made it to the venue, and we'll be handing them out afterwards. Joss and Rebecca Jane and Tara even graciously agreed to autograph them personally, and anyone who wants to step down after getting the ladies to sign their shirts can get my or cpneb's autographs, as well." And the group all waved to the crowd again and then headed into the venue, but not before Wade reached up and planted a kiss on the surprised Summer Gale's face, leaving her a bit flustered as he walked away, grinning.

Summer just grinned as she watched the group head inside. "Well there you have it folks! And the stars just keep coming and coming! And now for a special treat folks, here comes one of the hosts of the Fannie Awards, Mattb3671!"

Matt stepped free from the limo, smiling brightly. His wild hair was tamed, almost slicked back, as he looked over the crowd. He reached back, offering a hand to his date Penny, who just looked uncomfortable as she got out of the vehicle.

Summer was there right away, microphone in hand. "Matt, it's a pleasure to speak with you. Tell me, what can we expect this year?"

Matt just waggled his eyebrows at her. "Well Summer... can I call you Summer... we can expect even more of last year this year, that's for sure. You can expect... umm... Dr. Possible isn't here yet, is he?" Summer just shook her head as Matt looked about worridly, before grinning again. "Anyways, as I was saying, look for more action, more humour, and a LOT more smuffiness this year!"

Summer just nodded, turning her attentions to the young woman. "And you, it must be exciting to be here, isn't it?"

"Umm... I'm just here because Matt offered me a role in his next story if I came as his date. I don't get any airtime in the fanfiction world, and if I want to be an actress, I need to get some airtime out there, build up my reputation."

Matt chuckled as he moved behind her. "Speaking of building up..."

Penny squealed and slapped Matt's hands away, but not before he had given them a quick squeeze. "What did I tell you in the limo, no touching! Don't make me call security on you."

Matt just groaned, hanging his head. "Not even just a little?"

Penny just huffed, and headed for the doorway, leaving Matt to scramble to catch up to her. Summer just shook her head, watching the pair head in. "Well folks, it's almost time for the show to start, but we still have a few more guests... and here comes one now. It appears to be... it is... it's Jason Zaratan Jones, creator and co-host of the Fannie Awards. Let's see if he can spare us a moment."

Jason stepped from the limo, a cell phone pressed tight to his ear. He still took a moment to help his date Bonnie from the car, but she just sneered before hopping from the limo herself. Jason just shook his head, returning to his call.

"What do you mean you can't find Starving Lunatic? She's up for sixteeen of the awards, she has to be here! Well find her! And have you... good, I don't want this show getting out of hand like last year's did."

Summer noted that Jason seemed a bit preoccupied, so she focused her attentions on Bonnie, who stood smiling for all the cameras. "Bonnie, if we could have a word. How does it feel to be here with Jason, the creator of the Fannie Awards?"

Bonnie took the microphone right out of Summer's hand, glaring her down. With a smirk, Bonnie turned back to the cameras. "I couldn't care less about that, I just wanted to present a more prominant and less bizarre award this year. The geek offered me pretty much any award just to be his arm candy, so like, I'm not going to refuse. Besides, he'll be too tied up to do anything, I get to present the best writer award rather than that stupid Kim and Ron category like last year, and maybe I can find some cute guy during the show. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to greet my adoring public."

Bonnie tossed Summer back the microphone, who just looked on in shock. After a few frantic whispers from her cameraman, Summer straightened up, putting on her smile again. "Umm... that was Bonnie Rockwaller and Jason Jones folks. Aren't they just the most interesting... couple? But folks, here comes the moment you've all been waiting for, the stars you've all been waiting to see... Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable!"

The door to the limo opened, releasing a smiling Kim and Ron, who's arms were linked closely together. They waved to the crowd as they roared in excitement. Rufus poked his head free, raising his paws in the air to wave to the crowd as well, who just got louder when they saw the little guy.

Summer quickly made her move on the couple. "While these awards may cover a period of quiet for you two, this new season promises many surprises. You two must be excited about the prospects for the new year. Can you tell us some of the surprises in store for the new year?"

Ron just smiles, leaning forward. "Well Summer, about half way through the season, I start going out with Bonnie..."

"EWWWWW!" Everyone turns to look over at Bonnie, who had quietly been listening to them as she had been signing autographs.

Kim and Ron just laugh, turning back to the camera. "I told you Bonnie couldn't help listening in on us. You owe me a soda Ron."

"Aww man... Anyways Summer, there will be quite a few surprises in the new year, some of which you may have seen already. Shape changers, love rays, space aliens, we have a lot in store for the new year."

"And don't forget plenty of time with me and my spankin' BFBF."

The couple share a kiss, so Rufus takes the oppurtunity to climb up onto Ron's shoulder, leaning in for the microphone. "Hk... Ron in dress... he."

Ron breaks the kiss, groaning slightly. "Oh come on, that only... okay, it's happened twice in the first four episodes, but..."

Kim just laughs again, pulling on Ron's arm. "Come on Ron, the show is going to start soon."

Kim pulls Ron down the red carpet, though he could be heard muttering softly "Please KP, no more dresses."

Summer turns back to the camera, smiling brightly. "And there you have it folks, everyone who is anyone is here for this amazing event, so stay tuned. The show begins very shortly. This is Summer Gale, and I am Fannie Watch!"

The crowd just giggles, and Summer whirls on them. "Look, I didn't write this, I'm just reading from the prompter!"


	3. Best Single Line

The lights begin to shine, highlighting the large stage up front, the light glinting brightly off the giant sized Golden Ruffie statue. The music begins as the light splits, moving to cover either end of the stage.

**Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls and mole rats... WELCOME TO THE SECOND ANNUAL FANNIE AWARDS!**

**And now, your hosts for the event... Jason "Zaratan" Jones, and Matt "Mattb3671" Bryson!**

Jason comes in from the right, his black tux very trim and proper, as he waves to the cheering crowd. From the left comes Matt, looking equally slick. When they meet in the middle, they clasp hands, smiling broadly. Together, they approach the podium, Matt raising both arms into the air, soaking in the applause.

Jason just shakes his head at Matt's antics. "Well Matt, here we are for anouther round of the Fannie Awards. It sure has been some year, hasn't it?"

"It sure has Jason. Hundreds of new stories, even without any new episodes to enjoy."

"You've been pretty quiet this year though, haven't you."

Matt just gulps, looking out over the crowd until his eyes lock onto one particular set. "Umm... yeah... hgfdjshs..."

Jason leans closer, eyebrow raised in confusion. "Ummm... what was that?"

"I said... umm... black hole probe."

Jason just winces. "That bad, huh? You know, I honestly didn't expect him to be that mad at you. I mean, it's not like..."

"Ixnay on the muffsay man, he's giving me the dad eye."

Jason just looks out and does indeed see MrDrP giving him the dad eye, and it gives him the shivers. "Umm... all right then, let's get on with the show. Presenting the award for Best Single Line are WesUAH and Sensei!"

WesUAH and Sensei walk up to the podium, throwing the occasional wave to the crowd (Sensei does the beat-chest-give-peace-sign thing, as he is the object of most of the cheering), and bow to each other in greeting. Somehow, Wes manages this without falling down or clonking his head against something.

Unfortunately, his glasses fall off.

Equally unfortunately, he manages to knock them off the stage while going after them.

Before they can hit the ground, Sensei leaps off of the stage, flips in the air, lands on his feat, catches them handily, and then jumps back up on the stage. Much ooh-and-ahhing follows this.

"Ah... _arigato gozaimasu_, Sensei-san," Wes says as he takes his glasses back.

"You are welcome, Wes-san," Sensei replies politely. "Shall we begin?"

"Well, since we've given the audience their ninja entertainment for the evening...," he says wryly, earning a small laugh. He grins and makes a bit of a show of replacing his glasses on his head.

"One of the great things about the world of fanfic is the shear variety of it all. Stories about Kim and Ron and the rest can range across anything from Teen Angst Drama, to Action Adventure, to Smuff, to John Ringo style Carnography. The only limitation is the imagination and word-smithing skill of the author, and we've a lot of excellent authors in the room tonight. Many amazing and memorable stories have come out of your pens - er, keyboards, rather - and we are each the richer for having read them.

"And in many of those stories," he continues, becoming slightly more animated as he gets into the purpose of the talk, "we find that one little nugget. That one single line that reaches out and grabs the reader, and says 'ah-hah! Pay attention to me!'.

"We all have favorite lines from outside the fandom; in books, in movies, in songs. Lines like 'Luke, I am your father'; 'Out of doubt, out of dark to the day's rising I came singing in the sun, sword unsheathing. To hope's end I rode, and to heart's breaking. Now for wrath, now for ruin, and a red nightfall!'; 'When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, when you can't do that… … you find someone to carry you.'; 'And in the fury of this darkest hour\I will be your light\A lifetime for this destiny\For I am Winter born\And in this moment...\I will not run, it is my place to stand\We few shall carry hope\Within our bloodied hands.'; 'Thus came Aragon, son of Arathorn...'; 'There are more things in heaven and on earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.'"

He pauses a moment, his thoughts in faraway fields... but then he tosses his head and draws himself back.

"They make you laugh. They make you smile. They make you cry. They make you think. They make you bare your teeth in a tiger's smile, for the sword is drawn and the villain is soon to get his. Whatever the reaction, the key component to a Great Line is that it provokes a reaction in you. It makes you _feel_.

"Though they are only a part of the story, and are on occasion so noticeable because they run _against_ the emotional grain of the tale, in many cases, mayhaps in most cases, the single line is the heart of the story rendered in microcosm."

"The shape of the mountain," Sensei intones serenely, "can be discerned from even the smallest pebble."

Wes looks at him and raises a questioning eyebrow.

"That some sort of ninja zen thing?"

"Fractal theory."

"Ah."

He shakes his head in bemusement. In an almost unconscious action, he pushes his glasses up his nose before he begins speaking again.

"Well, infinitely repeating patterns aside, the nominees for Best Single Line are..."

-----------------------------------------

**Classic Cowboy** **- The Batman - Barbara Gordon - "Holy crap Unka Ron, what happened to your back?"**

"And now, lunch!" He said, bringing around a platter of hotdogs in browned coverings.

"Marshmallow Hotdogs!" Kim almost squealed as he placed the platter on the table. "I haven't had these in years."

"I remember they're your favorite, right?" Ron said going to the fridge. "What'll it be for refreshment?"

"Beer will work," Kim said, already devouring a dog.

"Coca-Cola Classic it is!" Ron replied, pulling out a two liter.

"Just one beer to kick off the morning …" Kim pouted.

"No, KP, not with me serving," Ron said firmly, avoiding her gaze in fear of her old super-weapon.

Ron started to sit down when a young voice spoke from the door way. **"**Holy crap, Unka Ron, what happened to your back?" Barbara asked, staring at Ron's bare back. "It's all scratched up! What happened? Did it hurt?"

---------------------------------

**King in Yellow - Ninjas in the House - The noise from the kitchen awakened Shego. It was a curious noise. It sounded like someone beating a ninja against the refridgerator.**

Bonnie was in the mother of all rotten moods. Shego had let slip that Yori was from some sort of ninja school, apparently the one where Ron had trained the last two summers. Why had Ron never mentioned Yori to her? The two of them were together right now. Bonnie had a small headache, she wasn't sure if it was the tension or the MSG in the take-out. But she was also hungry. Perhaps a little peanut butter and jelly sandwich would help. She came downstairs in the dark, but flipped the light on when she got into the kitchen.

"Peanut butter," she mumbled. "If I was peanut butter where would I be hiding?"

The ninja in the pantry noticed he was standing by the peanut butter jar. Trusting his black garb to keep him invisible in the darkness of pantry as Bonnie reached in he put the jar in her hands.

"Oh, good, there it is," Bonnie muttered, taking the peanut butter out of the pantry.

The ninja had time to draw a sigh of relief -- before a hand reached back into the pantry and grabbed him.

The noise from the kitchen awakened Shego. It was a curious noise. It rather sounded like someone beating a ninja against the refrigerator. Slipping out of bed quietly enough to leave Kim asleep Shego went downstairs.

The light was on in the kitchen, and it took Shego's eyes a minute to adjust from the darkness of the hallway. "You've got to do that more quietly," Shego told Bonnie, "You woke me up."

"Be with you in just a second," Bonnie said, slamming the ninja two more times into the 'fridge.'

---------------------------------

**Starving Lunatic** - **One in a Billion - Shego - "What the? Where have you been these past few years? When the woman says she's on a plane, chances are she's actually in a cab on the way to the house! I don't want to get caught by her!"**

Shego was fortunate that she was standing right there, though because once they got off their phones, she realized something. She had to go out and buy Kim an engagement ring before her mother showed up. The devil woman would not shut up if she showed up to find Kim without a proper ring on her finger.

"Princess, what size ring do you wear?" Shego asked.

"Why? You don't have to get me a ring," Kim answered.

"I do if I don't want to hear that woman's mouth when she gets here," the green-skinned woman pointed out.

"Why don't you call her and just make up some story about why you missed her call?" Kim suggested.

"What the? Where have you been these past few years? When that woman says she's on a plane, chances are she's actually in a cab on the way to the house! I don't want to get caught by her," Shego replied.

----------------------------------

**Zaratan** **- The Ronless Factor - Bonnie - "Kim... I think... I think your boyfriend was a cross-dresser!"**

Kim froze again, just for a moment, then put the towel on the counter. She took two steps into the room, then put her hands on her hips. "Fine, so you're talking to Ron. If it's really him, I want you to tell me something only Ron and I would know."

"Oh, is that all. Fine Stoppable, give me something I can tell her." She waited, and the moment seemed to stretch as he hmmed to himself. After a minute, Bonnie got impatient. "This century, some of us are still getting older you know."

Kim's face paled a bit at that, but Bonnie paid her no mind. Finally, Ron thought of something. "Okay, there was the time when we switched bodies."

"He says remember… wait, what? Switched bodies?"

Ron blushed slightly. "Um, yeah, can you just focus on repeating what I'm saying first, before we start in on the explanations."

Bonnie frowned, but nodded slightly.

"Anyways, it was when we were practicing so I could cover for her during the Regionals…"

"Wait, this happened at Regionals a couple years ago?"

"Bonnie!"

"Fine." Bonnie turned back to Kim, who was looking at her a bit strangely. "Anyways, Ron says he wants you to remember the brain switch thing at Regionals a couple years ago which you almost blew for us."

"I did not almost blow it for us Bonnie."

"Whatever. Ron?"

Ron just swallowed a bit. "Anyways, we were practicing, and I mentioned that I found the breeze from the wardrobe quite refreshing."

Bonnie just looked back up at Kim, her lips curling into a bit of a smile. Her chest was shaking slightly, and the beginning of tears were at the corners of her eyes. Kim looked down at her wonderingly, until Bonnie fell back on the bed laughing almost maniacally. The brunette clutched at her sides, as tears now freely streamed down her cheeks, her laughter both loud and boisterous.

Ron just crossed his arms in front of himself. "It's not that funny."

Kim just looked annoyed. "What is so funny?"

Keeping one hand on her stomach, Bonnie just laughed again. "Kim… I think… I think your boyfriend was a cross-dresser."

---------------------------------------------

"And the winner is... **Starving Lunatic** - One in a Billion - Shego - "What the? Where have you been these past few years? When the woman says she's on a plane, chances are she's actually in a cab on the way to the house! I don't want to get caught by her!"

Everyone looks around expectantly, but no one moves. It isn't until a technician from the back rushes up to the podium, carrying a card.

The card is handed to WesUAH with a message on it. "I've just been informed that Starving Lunatic is not here to accept this award. Apparently, she is missing and presumed scared of her freaking mind!"

"She'd better be!" Shego hollered from the audience while cracking her knuckles.

Jason grumbles as he returns to the stage. "How can we have a show without Starving Lunatic? She's up for almost everything."

Matt just shrugs. "Don't worry about it man, everyone else is here. You know what they say, on with the show."

Jason just sighs. "Right, right. Anyways, let's welcome our first performer of the night, Jackie Wilson, with Higher and Higher!"

_Your love, lifting me higher  
Than i've ever been lifted before  
So keep it it up  
Quench my desire  
And i'll be at your side, forever more_

_You know your love (your love keeps lifting me)  
Keep on lifting (love keeps lifting me)  
Higher (lifting me)  
Higher and higher (higher)  
I said your love (your love keeps lifting me)  
Keep on (love keeps lifting me)  
Lifting me (lifting me)  
Higher and higher (higher)  
_

_Now once, I was down hearted  
Disappointment, was my closest friend  
But then you, came and it soon departed  
And you know he never  
Showed his face again  
_

_You know your love (your love keeps lifting me)  
Keep on lifting (love keeps lifting me)  
Higher (lifting me)  
Higher and higher (higher)  
I said your love (your love keeps lifting me)  
Keep on (love keeps lifting me)  
Lifting me (lifting me)  
Higher and higher (higher)  
_

_I'm so glad, i've finally found you  
Yes that one, in a million girls  
And I whip, my loving arms around you  
I can stand up, and face the world  
_

_You know your love (your love keeps lifting me)  
Keep on lifting (love keeps lifting me)  
Higher (lifting me)  
Higher and higher (higher)  
I said your love (your love keeps lifting me)  
Keep on (love keeps lifting me)  
Lifting me (lifting me)  
Higher and higher (higher)_


	4. Best Villain

Jason and Matt return to the stage, with Jason looking just a bit more happy. "See Jason, the show will go on, even if Starving Lunatic couldn't make it. You just need to stay calm and relax."

"You're right, I don't know why I was panicking. Especially since we have so many other great guests here tonight."

"That's the spirit! Of course, let's hope that the characters in our next category never show that kind of spirit. Presenting the award for Best Villain are Twila Starla and Lord Montgomery Fiske!"

Jason leans in to whisper to Matt, forgetting that the microphone on his collar picks it all up. "Were you just sucking up to Monkey Fist?"

"Hey, never know when it would be handy to have some muscle on your side, you know how these things go."

Twila Starla and Monkey Fist approach the podium, and he even deigns to give his fellow presenter a kiss when they reach the microphone together.

"I must say my dear, you are a frightfully better partner to be paired with then I was last year. Amy just could not take a hint."

Twila just smiles in response. "I guess that's one thing that makes her such a good villainess then, the way she can terrify even the villains."

Monty just laughed. "Oh yes, she can terrify anyone quite well. Especially after I recieved that one fan drawing during my last prison visit. The leather..." Monty just shivers uncontrollably.

"But there is more to just being a villain then how they look in leather. They have to have the skills and the smarts to back it up."

"A little insanity doesn't hurt either. I mean, Shego must be insane to put up with that buffoon Drakken day in and day out." A simultaneous cry of "HEY" sounds out from the crowd, as both villains take offense at his words.

Twila just grins. "And the nominees for Best Villain are..."

-----------------------------------------------

**Carrion - Trinity Sitch series - Commander Argus**

"Cary, or whatever your name is, this doesn't have to go this way. This is kidnapping, they'll put you away and they'll most likely treat you as an adult." She said, backing up slightly as he slowly advanced on her.

"You think I care about that? In a couple days I'm going to be an adult anyway and I'm going be on the road back home to Dad first thing that morning, to hell with Mom and her stupid custody agreements. The only thing I want from her is her name, since it fits me so well. Oh, and I do like looking this good. Sure helps with the girls most of the time…"

"…when they're not all wrapped up in a freaking loser!" He growled at her, balling up his fist.

"This was supposed to be so easy. Everything in the psyche-profile I hacked from Global Justice said you'd turn into a hopeless fawn for a pretty face like mine. A little help in the color department and I had your precious boyfriend's look down. A quick tumble in the sack, the right rumors told to the right people and boom, no boyfriend, reputation down the tubes and my father gets the revenge he wanted so much while I got a little action out of the bargain.

"But no, you're oh-so-much in love with that little homely dude. What's he got? Maybe it's true what they say about those big hands? Or did he tell you something like how nerds are so good at sex because that's all they think about all the time?"

"Cary…" Kim snarled.

"Actually, It's Carrion, but since we were on a first name basis anyway…"

"Carrion, I thought I was just going to be defending myself, but this is going to feel good!" She growled, dropping into a fighting stance.

"You think? I know." He pulled something out of his pocket. It was a crystal of some sort, almost the size of his fist. Casually walking over to a table he picked up a metal rod. Carefully he attached the crystal to the end of the rod.

"I made one of these for Dad once. It worked like a charm. That one was made to tap into Team Go's glow powers. It was pretty specific, but since I had the harmonics down, pretty simple to make, really. Too bad you and that green bitch had to steal it and ultimately break it before the transfer could become permanent."

"Oh my God. Aviarius is your father?"

"No kidding. You're actually just now getting that? I guess it's a good thing I take after my mother. I thought the moment you heard my name you'd get it. That stupid little black girl you hang around with sure did. I heard her telling it to some of her other black friends, and that cripple she's going to pollute the gene pool with. I bet they're out right now polluting it since you were left all alone tonight." He waved the crystal in front of her.

"This one is different. The last one was made only to steal the four power signatures. That's all it could do. Then I got to thinking about things after you broke the old one and sent Dad 'back to his cage'." He said, mocking Hego's voice. "Maybe everyone has a special power, something that they and they alone have. Maybe that was something that could be measured and quantified, so I built a new crystal. Then I tried it on a few nice folks at my old school. Pretty soon the head quarterback couldn't half throw a ball any more. A couple of the braniacs suddenly started failing and had to drop back to normal classes. Suddenly I was a straight A student and on the fast track to college"

He moved, faster than she could have imagined. Before she could even react he was behind her, holding her arm painfully against her back.

"Pretty soon, I guess I'm going to know sixteen kinds of kung fu." He whispered in her ear. Pulling her hair gently aside with his free hand he placed a gentle kiss on her neck.

"I think I might like to have a little bit of what old Ron is having as well."

**--------------------------------------------**

**Drakken - The Gods Must Be Laughing - Starving Lunatic**

"Who the hell are you?" Kim called to whoever was operating the machine, if someone was doing that anyway.

The girl did not get an answer, so she decided to get a better look at the robot that she was now going against. She was just curious as to who was so livid with her that the person had the nerve to come after her at her home. She slipped onto a car for a better look and noticed the top of a cerulean head in the center of the machine. That was not who she thought it was, right?

"Drakken?" the slender hero shouted in disbelief.

"Yes, it's me!" he confirmed with a maniacal laugh. He was standing at the controls of the machine that was gunning for the little redhead. He was going to finally get rid that annoying pest and claim what was his. She could not have his Shego and he refused to let her even think that she could.

"What the hell are you doing?" she demanded to know. He was the person making her day so exceptionally miserable? It made sense on some level, but was just plain wrong on so many others.

"You corrupted my Shego!" he hollered in pure fury.

"Who corrupted who around here?" Shego inquired as she approached the situation while rounding the block. She could not believe all of the destruction one moron could cause, especially to one street. She was happy that she did not hang out on that particular block.

**------------------------------------------------**

**Grimm Probable - All Things Probable - Slyrr**

'You split your focus in too many directions, Kim Possible.' said Grimm, with the air of teaching a lesson to a student who just didn't get it. 'You're not as good as you might be. Your fighting style is just one example. I can tell that you know at least ten different styles...'

'Sixteen!' said Kim proudly, squaring off against him again and trying to maneuver him into a position better to strike.

'Whatever.' said Grimm, shrugging. 'But I can also tell what you're thinking. Do I strike with Bajiquan or Huquan? Should I feint with Tae Kwon Do or Zi Ran Men? You've studied so many different styles they all get muddled in your brain and you can't decide which one to use until it's too late.' He spoke calmly, even as he continued blocking blow after blow.

Kim felt a surge of anger as he spoke, and struck harder, faster. But Grimm blocked each move she made.

'You're half-way decent at sixteen forms of kung fu.' he said. 'I've only studied one - but I've mastered it! The most flexible and all-encompassing form of Kung Fu - Tai Shing Pek Kwar!'

Kim stared in shock. '_Monkey_ Kung Fu?' she said. 'No way!!'

'That's why you can't touch me, Kim. I know Tai Shing Pek Kwar so well I can counter any of your half-baked moves. You may be able to do anything - but you don't do anything very _well_!'

**------------------------------------------------**

**Kara Fang - Kim Possible : Mind, Body, and Soul - Hobnob-rev**

Grinning as the older woman shrank back, Kara turned away and placed the gleaming blade back into the box. "Unfortunately, Doctor Drakken requires you in one piece. So, I shall have to fall back on my skills with pressure point manipulation."

Doctor Possible swallowed, her mind dwelling on how sharp the scalpel had been, and how it had reflected the demented blue from Kara's eyes for a second. To her mind, pressure point manipulation sounded almost as bad.

Try to keep control.

"Sounds fascinating. I always found time to visit the acupuncture specialists in the hospital." Doctor Possible paled as Kara cracked her knuckles and rummaged in the box. "So, where did you learn to use it for… for…"

"Torture?" Kara finished for her, enjoying herself. "Oh, a little bit here and there. The Jade has a remarkable amount of talent working for them. You know, I was once able to actually experience the great Master Jyah Jung at work… He made me scream for mercy for over three hours and he used one needle. Amazing. I knew then, I had to learn how he did it."

"Oh…" Three hours, Oh no… Is she going to… Don't think about it! "Do you still stay in contact?"

"Mnn?" Kara slipped the sash with her acupuncture needles around her waist and smoothly slid on her favoured ultra thin leather gloves. The leather dyed a deep red. "Oh, no. Once I learned all I could, I demonstrated to my own master in the Jade how skilled I was. I did it by making Jyah Jung's eyes bleed… with two needles in his foot. I felt the pain I had gone through deserved him experiencing my skills in return. A shame though. The demonstration made him have a cerebral haemorrhage and he died on the slab I had him manacled to. Still, I got to become head torturer with his passing."

Doctor Possible fell silent, her head turning away. She felt sick at the thought of what Kara had done. The ball of ice that had been growing in her stomach turned to lead and she shut her eyes. I'm going to be tortured… possibly to death.

The sudden sensation of Kara stroking her hair made Doctor Possible flinch and she opened her eyes to see the oriental woman grinning. "Don't worry… I think I know what happened. So I doubt that will happen to you."

---------------------------------------------------

And the winner is... **Kara Fang - Kim Possible : Mind, Body, and Soul - Hobnob-rev**

"Finally, I knew the voters were sensible people!"

"Oh dear god." Hobnobrev moans, glancing to the left of his table. There, sitting primly in a neat and expensive suit, is his creation. Kara Fang. Hair swirled into a long flowing waterfall and secured by a blood red butterfly clip, cosmetics outlining her icy eyes, she grins.

The smile is less than… sane.

"That fruitloop again?" Shego snorts, not noticing how her voice carries and Kara's head swivels towards it. "She won best original character last year, and she's won again? For what? How hard can it be to create someone whose main fetish seems to be causing intense pain and ramming pointy things into people?"

"Um, Shego? She's looking this way." Drakken pulls at his bowtie and swallows. "I don't want to have pointy things rammed into me."

"She didn't do it to you, she did it to me, in his story."

"Which one was that?"

Shego sighs and glowers at Kara, who claps her hand in a pretend begging gesture before pointing at Shego and laughing. Growling, she glances at Hobnobrev, who sinks lower in his seat and whimpers. "He's the one who wrote about me… ending up with Kim."

"Possible? He wrote about you catching her and torturing her to death?" Drakken's face perks up. "I think I want to read about this."

"No, you moron. With her, as in… dating. Being a couple… having, villains preserve me, a relationship! Worse, Kim saves me from that Japanese cow."  
"Relationship? But you're two women and… and… oh."

Shego's hands flicker with green flame. "Dr D, if that's a smirk I see popping up on your face…"

Drakken ignores her, lost in thought. "You know, Shego. Come to think about it, why do you call her Pumpkin and Princess? For taunting names, they're not exactly insulting, more… sweet."

"Gahhhh!"

Stumbling up onto the platform, and trying to ignore the various mutterings from the non canon tables, where guns, blades and other devices are being slid out, Hobnob smiles nervously into the gathered crowd.

"Umm, well creating Kara Fang was interesting and… eep!"

The sudden feel of a powerful grip on his arm has Hobnobrev stuttering into silence, and then he lets out a whimper as Kara slides into place next to him. The hand tightens for a second before Kara smiles. Again, everyone shifts uncomfortably, even Kim.

"Hello everyone. He's talking about me just in case you've never seen me before. My name is Kara Fang, and I rule the Blood Jade. My skills include gloating, torturing people-especially Shego- until they crack, sniper skills and general cruelty and evil. I am a unique work of art! Anyway, continue!"

"Uh, uh… well, I had to create someone Shego would end up being at the mercy of, someone who would make her feel in danger -"

"Her? Not going to happen, you little fu-"

"Shego!" Kim snaps, glaring at her from across the hall. "Don't make me come over there!"

"Oh can it, princess! You think I'd be scared of his crazy little Yori reject? Please… and stop looking at my chest, Pumpkin!"

"I… wasn't." Kim manages, flushing red. "I was… um, thinking about something else. I thought it breast… I mean best." Kim groans. "Oh, damn it… this 'Kigo' is infectious!"

"Anyway, we all know that Shego's past is unexplored in the series so far, so I had a little fun and created Kara-"

"I am honoured to have been made."

"A psychopathic mirror to Shego, to show real evil against Shego's constant claims of how evil she is. With Kara, we see them to be nothing but her own form of self reassurance."

"What did you just call me?" Kara growls, narrowing her eyes and Hobnobrev whimpers.

Rolling her eyes, Shego smirks. "Hey, Kara. You're crazy, live with it. But I'll have you damn well know that I AM evil!"

"I'm glad everyone liked Kara and MBS as a fiction. I hope you will all end up reading its sequel The Parisian Connection, when I release the first chapter."

"Am I in it?"

"No, you died in MBS."

"Ha!" A voice growls from the dark. "Owned!"

"One day, Hobnob San, we shall have words about that…" Kara notices Twila holding out the award and snatches it from her with a growl, making her back away hands wide. I'm very pleased to accept this reward for being… well, me!" Grinning at the collection of other Non-canon villains, she holds the award high. "I am superior in every way!"

"They voted for a ninja character?" The gruff voice of Grim Probable echoes around the hall. "That's not very original… and making her crazy? Also unoriginal. Besides, she got her ass kicked by Shego, not Kim. What a wimp."

Kara's eyes narrow at the table where the other original villains sit. Women and men seated there all grumble with agreement. "Big words for an 'alternate' character who happens to be evil. Talk about a Star Trek cliché, Probable San. And I remind you that Shego attacked me because I beat Kim! She was down and suffering at my hands… much better than you did."

"Come down here and say that!" Grim roars, the others standing with him in agreement.

The smile Kara sports becomes feral. "Very well."

"No fighting!" Jason screams from the stage. "No fighting! We'll lose our deposit! Damn it Hobnob, stop her!"

"How? She's totally crazy!" Groaning, Hobnob scurries away from the podium as Kara's red clothed form launches itself into the snarling group of original villains, a battle cry echoing into the darkness. "Note to self, make next villain sane if at all possible!"

"Oh good grief," Kim sighs, standing up. "Usually, I'm only called on to keep Shego contained."

Ron ducks a thrown roast chicken and his eyes widen at the familiar sight of Shego striding towards Kim, hands flickering. "Uh, KP? You may get your wish. Shego at twelve o clock."

Spinning, Kim finds the green woman standing next to her. As her hands come up cautiously, Shego rolls her eyes.

"Princess, I'm here to help separate these-" she ducks as a bottle flies overhead. "Morons. They're going to make this damn thing take even longer if we don't and I have better things to do with my time. So, shall we?"

"Stop them!" Matt cries, pleading with Kim and Shego as a table explodes into splinters. Kara is just visible as she sends another woman flying into one of the columns of the room. "Please! We'll lose out deposit!"

"Fine, you can help… but I'll be watching my back, Shego."

"Please, I'm not that low to assault your cute little ass from the rear…" Both women stare at each other and their eyes widen. Shego carefully raises a single finger. "That came out wrong, don't say a single damn word about it. Kay?"

"I think that'd be breast-" Kim swallows, dragging her eyes up a second time. "Best! I mean best! Oh for the love of… not again!"

Fifteen minutes, five GJ agents, a thorough ass kicking by Kim, and a few table beatings from Shego, the room is quiet once more.

Sitting primly next to a sobbing Hobnob, Kara grins triumphantly. Her face sporting a black eye, her clothes ripped and torn, she chuckles and raps a single finger against the, now dented, award.

"I won an aaaward, I won an aaaward! Ha!"

"Did you have to hit Will Du with that?" Hobnob looks up, his face a picture of misery. "They'll never let us back in here. My writing career is over!"

"Don't be silly." Kara grins dangerously as Matt and Jason walk hesitantly back to the podium for the next award. "You will win best series next year…" Turning, she eyes the hoards of Kim Possible fans and tilts her head. "Or else I shall be paying… visits."

Jason and Matt return to the stage, and Jason is wiping his brow feverishly. "This is so going just like last year. I don't want to get hurt again..."

"Man, settle down. GJ showed up, most of the damage is fine. See, they're already bringing out the replacement tables and chairs. Even Kim and Shego's outfits are okay."

Jason just groans, leaning against the wall. "I just want a drink. This could only get worse."

Matt looks out over the crowd and chuckles. "Umm, while my co-host... umm... gets some refreshments, let's welcome George Thorogood and the Destroyers, with Bad to the Bone!"

_On the day I was born The nurses all gathered 'round  
And they gazed in wide wonder At the joy they had found  
The head nurse spoke up And she said leave this one alone  
She could tell right away That I was bad to the bone  
Bad to the bone Bad to the bone B-B-B-B-Bad to the bone  
B-B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-B-Bad Bad to the bone _

I broke a thousand hearts Before I met you  
I'll break a thousand more Baby Before I am through  
I wanna be yours pretty baby, yours and yours alone  
I'm here to tell ya honey That I'm bad to the bone  
Bad to the bone B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-Bad Bad to the bone

I make a rich woman beg I'll make a good woman steal  
I'll make an old woman blush And make a young woman squeal  
I wanna be yours pretty baby Yours and yours alone  
I'm here to tell ya honey That I'm bad to the bone  
B-B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-B-Bad Bad to the bone

And when I walk the streets Kings and Queens step aside  
Every woman I meet They all stay satisfied  
I wanna tell ya pretty baby Well Ya see I make my own  
I'm here to tell ya honey That I'm bad to the bone  
Bad to the bone B-B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-Bad Bad to the bone


	5. Best Original Character Name

Jason is just grumbling as he comes back onto the stage. "Why does this always happen to me? I'm just trying to do a good thing here, and..."

Matt just snatches the glass from Jason's hand before he can down it. "Come on man, stop being so down. So Kara came back for anouther visit, at least you're not hurt."

Jason just looks at his partner as if he was crazy. "Are you serious? We're only two awards in and we already have a brawl on our hands. A quarter of the Global Justice agents we got for the night are out of commision already, and we haven't even gotten to the Best Kigo Award yet. You can't tell me to relax, not with that still coming up!"

Matt just glances out over the audiance, a worried expression on his face. "Umm... let's bring out our next set of presenters, Cpneb and Tara!"

A middle-aged African-American gentleman with curly salt-and-pepper hair entered the stage, but very few individuals noticed him:

They were all watching Tara.

The beautiful blue-eyed blond smiled serenely as she took over the stage when she stepped onto the stage with cpneb. Tara wore a beautiful, shimmering, deep-blue halter evening gown with a string of black pearls in a necklace that shimmered in the spotlights and perfectly framed her lovely neck, and the long slit in her dress alternately revealed and concealed her legs delicately presented in her fishnet stockings and 3-inch dark stiletto heels. As they entered the stage, her heel clicks could be heard over the entry music and the non-totally-silent audience.

The few ladies that weren't jelling over her outfit were watching cpneb.

His polished black cane accompanied him as they entered the stage, and his black tux and maroon cummerbund perfectly matched Wade's formalwear.

Tara was saying something to cpneb as they approached the dais, and he laughed in response. The music faded as they reached the dais, and they stood there for a second. Then, the audience roared its approval. Tara smiled, and her perfect teeth and blue eyes shone as she waved to the audience and the cameras.

"I'll be leaving, now," cpneb started and turned as if to leave, and several members of the audience laughed.

"Why?" Tara asked, and men who had not heard this voice of Tara's fell immediately in love with both her and the voice: it was a sexy high alto voice that screamed to a man's soul.

"Tara, you have to ask?" and he turned and smiled at her.

"Just, look at you: you stopped traffic on the way over here, and you were inside the limousine!"

"You're almost every man's dream, Tara," and she looked at him quizzically.

"Almost?" she asked, and he grinned and pointed at his wedding band.

"22 years this past Wednesday, Tara, and I've loved every minute of it," and the audience applauded.

"Not that I don't you're beautiful, my dear," and cpneb bent over, took her right hand, and kissed it.

"You got married on Valentine's Day?" Tara asked, and cpneb nodded.

"That's sooo romantic, 'neb," and Tara brushed her lips to his cheek, bringing about a loud raspberry from Pharaoh Rutin Tutin.

"Isn't that romantic, ladies," Tara asked the audience, and the ladies all applauded.

'And, did you know he's multi-talented, as well?"

"Tara! Please; you promised not to mention that, last night at the hotel," cpneb replied, and several of the gentlemen in the audience cheered.

Tara blushed.

"Well, I still think you're cute," she replied.

"Here it comes, Wade," Pharaoh Rutin Tutin whispered to a grinning Wade.

"For an older man," Tara finished her statement, and 'neb pantomimed a sword piercing his chest.

"ba-da-bat: CHING!" as the Pharaoh imitated the classic rim shot, and Joss and Rebecca Jane giggled.

"I forgot to ask you, cpneb:

"Have you always had a thing for blue-eyed young ladies?" Tara batted her lovely long eyelashes multiple times, Joss squirmed in her seat at the table, and Rebecca Jane just smiled while cpneb smiled and said nothing, garnering an even bigger laugh from the audience.

"Anyway, Tara, we have a spread of writers for this award: the Best Original Character Name."

"That's right, cpneb: we have two writers who have both been producing stories here for about the same length of time and a very new writer, starting the first story in November of 2006."

"All three of these accomplished writers have followed the guidelines for this category in that their character's name follows the Kim Possible naming convention," cpneb added.

"Will you play for me, later, tonight, after the parties?" Tara asked in a husky voice, and the cameraman at the stage tripped and fell, then picked himself up and stood behind his camera, blushing fiercely.

"For you, my dear, whatever you want," and she whispered into his ear.

"TARA!" and she grinned and nodded slowly.

"Very well, my dearest Tara," and she blushed, "if you will allow me to read the first name, you read the second, I'll take the third, and you can announce the winner.

"Deal?" and she slipped back into her old persona and nodded vigorously, the caught herself and smiled.

"Of course, kind sir," she smiled that serene smile, and the cameraman fell, again.

"Very well." and cpneb stared at the cameraman who by now had picked himself back up and propped himself up between the stage and the camera.

"The nominations," cpneb began, "for Best Original Character Name following the Kim Possible naming convention, are:

--------------------------------------------

**Jen Credible - Maternal Instinct - Blackbird**

"Aahh, here we are," the figure said in a thick, Scottish accent. "The golf clubs of ol' Rannulph Junuh, one of the best golfers of his time. Looks like you don't got an angel looking after your clubs no do ya laddie?"

"Well I wouldn't say that exactly," a new voice spoke from the darkness.

The intruder whirled around, the golf bag slung of his shoulder clanging noisily as he did so. He squinted his eyes into the darkened hallway to try and get a look at whomever it was that just spoke.

"Alright, come out whoever you are!" he demanded.

"Who me?" the voice spoke again.

This time the speaker stepped out into the pale moonlight provided by the skylight above them to reveal himself fully. He was a boy about eighteen or so dressed in a simple red T-shirt and faded loose fit jeans with a brown, suede jacket over the shirt. His brown eyes sparkled with confidence and a bit of mischief as he looked back at the Scottish man.

"Guess I should introduce myself, huh? My name's Dave and you're Duff Killigan, right?"

"Aye," the villain responded. "And just what are you doing here, 'Dave'?"

"Well at the moment I'm talking to you and hoping to convince you to just give up whatever it is you're here to do and just walk away. Otherwise things are gonna have to get ugly."

"Really? And are you planning on taking me on all by yourself?"

"Me? No, I don't do a lot of the fighting. Only a couple of punches here and there. She on the other hand…"

At the mention of a "she" Killigan's body tensed. The only "she" do gooder he knew about that would be willing to fight him was Kim Possible. But he had been so careful in being quiet and unseen. There wasn't even anyone with a computer around to send a message to her website. So how could she have known?

Something else was off too. That boy he that came up to him wasn't Possible's usual sidekick, was it? He did have blonde hair, but it seemed a little darker than he remembered. Plus he was sure the buffoon's name wasn't Dave. It was…something. Started with an "R" he was sure of that.

Any further thoughts he had on the subject where lost when a sharp kick to his side sent him hurtling towards the floor. He groaned as he slid over the well waxed tile and once he came to a stop, picked himself up and shook his head clear.

"Alrighty now you ask for it lass! I'm gonna-" he paused when he saw the girl standing over him.

Indeed it was not. Though the girl standing there looked to be about Kim's age she had dark, almost black looking hair instead of Kim's bright red. She also seemed to be a little more conservative with her attire as the navel blue top met with her matching khaki pants covering the midriff that Possible usually left bare. About the only things this girl had in come with Possible where the multi pouched belt she wore around her waist and the arrogant smirk on her face as a grabbling line retracted back into a device on her right forearm.

"You're na Kim Possible," Killigan muttered. "Who are you?"

"Jen Credible, the girl that's about to kick your skirt wearing butt," the girl replied.

**------------------------------------------**

**Kasy and Sheki - Kasy/Sheki series - NoDrogs**

Later, Kim lay in the bed, snuggling the two baby girls by her sides.  
She looked up at her mother. "You didn't say anything about twins."  
Kim said.

Dr. Mrs. Possible shrugged. "You and Shego said you wanted to be  
surprised about what 'the kid' was going to be like." she said. "Plus,  
you two seemed to be having so much fun arguing over what her name  
was."

"Guess we get to use both." said Kim. She turned to the small, pale  
skinned baby on her left. Already, faint red curls were visible. Kim  
kissed it on the head. "Kasy Ann Possible.". Kim turned to her right.  
This baby was identical, except that the faint wisps of her hair were  
raven black, except slightly greenish where the light struck. "Sheki  
Go Possible." said Kim, kissing her other daughter.

-------------------------------

**Rhonda Fatigable - All Things Probable - Slyrr**

'That's right, losers!' said the girl, striking various kung-fu poses. 'Rhonda Fatigable is in the hay-ouwwwwse!'

'This is freaking me out!' said Ron, waving his hands around frantically as if he were being attacked by bees. 'Next she'll be saying she spent one horrible childhood summer at camp!'

'What?' Rhonda said, her face blanching. 'Who... who _told _you that?'

Beside her, Grimm, sighed and shook his head.

Ron's mouth fell open. 'Was it... Camp Wannaweep?'

'No! Kamp Kwitcherbeliakin.' said Rhonda, her face falling.

Grimm covered his face with a hand. 'Oh man,' he said, 'do _not_ get her started on Kamp Kwitcherbeliakin...'

'Worst summer of my life!' Rhonda wailed, a faraway look in her eyes.

'And yet you won't stop talking about it...' Grimm muttered.

------------------------------------------------

"KP!" Ron stage-whispered.

"KP, is it just me, or is that Rhonda Fatigable a really lovely lady?"

"HUSH, Ron!"

"Tara, before we announce the winner of this award, may I be one of many to compliment you on your glorious dress.

"Why, thank you, sir; and I think it's cute that you and Wade dressed alike tonight."

"Here comes one more, Joss," Pharaoh Rutin Tutin whispered to a grinning Joss and a frowning Wade.

"Kinda like a gentleman and his grandson," Tara finished her statement, and 'neb pantomimed a spear to the heart as the audience laughed.

"ba-da-bat: CHING!" and the Pharaoh imitated the classic rim shot, and Joss and Rebecca Jane giggled while Wade growled.

"Can I call 'em or what?"

"Tara, just how did you get that dress? That's a designer original, if I'm not mistaken."

"I bought it, cpneb."

"WOW! High school pays better that when I went."

"I had a job, cpneb," she replied.

"Doing what, Tara?"

"Teaching," and the crowd was quiet, but Kim, Monique, and Shego all roared with laughter.

"And, one more, Rebecca Jane," Pharaoh Rutin Tutin whispered to a grinning Rebecca Jane.

"I didn't know they had schools back then," Tara replied, incredulous, and 'neb pantomimed the shot fired into his chest as the audience laughed even louder.

"ba-da-bat: CHING!" and the Pharaoh imitated the classic rim shot for the third time, and Joss giggled while Rebecca Jane and Wade stared at the Pharaoh.

"We even had running water, Tara," and she took the "Screamer" pose.

cpneb swatted at Tara with the winning envelope, and she caught it on the second swing, holding it up and displaying her 2-inch nails on her slender hands.

"And, the award for Best Original Character Name following the Kim Possible naming convention goes to... **Kasy and Sheki - Kasy/Sheki series - NoDrogs**

Two teenaged girls walk onto the stage. Both are about seventeen, their bodies athletic and attractive. Also, both are pale skinned, with a slight greenish tint visible in the bright lights of the spotlight. One, Kasy Ann Possible, has short bright-red hair and is wearing a dark red dress that hugs tight to her still maturing figure. The other, Sheki, has black hair that reaches to the level of her shoulderblades, braided tonight into a long pony tail.

Pershed on Kasy's shoulder is a naked mole rat, female, wearing a pair of glasses perched on her nose. As the three approach the poduim, the molerat (Rina Molerat) hops off of Kasy's shoulder and picks up the award, holding it up to display it.

Sheki moves to stand by the micraphone. "NoDrogs couldn't come tonight, so Kasy and I came to pick up this award in NoDrogs name. We're glad you like our names, but the real thanks for those go to our mothers... Kim and Shego Possible."

"Let's give them a big round of applause!" said Kasy, leaning next to Sheki.

Cameras pan to show adult Kim and Shego, both in their mid-late thirties. Kim is smiling, Shego gives a thumbs-up to her daughters.

Shego near the front just groans. "I hate alternate realities."

Sheki picks up Rina Molerat, who is still holding the award, and the three leave the stage.

Matt smiles as he returns to the stage, smirking proudly at Jason. "See, no catastrophes. Two very beautiful women accepting an award, everyone behaved, this night will go just fine!"

Jason accepts that uneasily. "I guess things couldn't get any worse."

"That's the spirit! Now enjoy yourself, have fun. After seeing Tara in that dress, I know I will." Matt's eyebrows shoot up suggestively, drawing some chuckles from the audiance.

"All right then, let's try to have some fun, and welcome our next guests, Destiny's Child, with Say My Name!"

_Say my name, say my name  
if no one is around you  
say baby i love you  
if you aint runnin game  
Say my name, say my name  
you actin kinda shady  
aint callin me baby  
why the sudden change? _

Say my name, say my name  
if no one is around you  
say baby i love you  
if you aint runnin game  
Say my name, say my name  
you actin kinda shady  
aint callin me baby  
Better say my name!

Any other day i would call  
you would say  
"baby how's your day ?"  
but today it aint the same  
every other word is  
Uh Huh, Yea Okay,  
could it be that you,  
are at the crib with anotha lady?  
If you took it there first if all  
let me say, i am not the one  
to sit around and be played  
so prove your self to me,  
or the girl that you claim  
why don't you say the thangs  
that you said to me yesterday?

I know you say that i am assuming things  
Something's going down thats the way it seems  
Shouldn't be the reason why you're acting strange  
If nobody's holding you back from me  
Cause I know how you useually do  
When you say everything to me times two  
Why can't you just tell the truth?  
If somebody's there then tell me who

Say my name, say my name  
if no one is around you  
say baby i love you  
if you aint runnin game  
Say my name, say my name  
you actin kinda shady  
aint callin me baby  
why the sudden change?

What is up with this?  
Tell the truth,  
who you with ?  
How would you like it if  
I came over with my clique  
Don't try to change it now  
See you gotta bounce  
When two seconds ago  
you said you just got in the house.  
It's hard to believe that you,  
are at home, by yourself  
when i just heard the voice  
heard the voice of someone else.  
Just this question  
Why do you feel you gotta lie?  
Gettin caught up in your game  
when you can not say my name

I know you say that i am assuming things  
Something's going down thats the way it seems  
Shouldn't be the reason why you're acting strange  
If nobody's holding you back from me  
Cause I know how you useually do  
When you say everything to me times two  
Why can't you just tell the truth?  
If somebody's there then tell me who

Say my name, say my name  
if no one is around you  
say baby i love you  
if you aint runnin game  
Say my name, say my name  
you actin kinda shady  
aint callin me baby  
why the sudden change?

(where my ladies at)

Yeah-yeah-yeah-yea..yeah  
(can you say that? c'mon)  
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah  
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah  
Yeah-yeah-yeah ...yeah

Yeah , yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah (reapeat)  
(break it down)  
OOO uuuu OO uu OOOO uu OOOOOO  
(yea yea yea)  
(dc take it to the bridge c'mon)

_I know you say that i am assuming things  
Something's going down thats the way it seems  
Shouldn't be the reason why you're acting strange  
If nobody's holding you back from me  
Cause I know how you useually do  
When you say everything to me times two  
Why can't you just tell the truth?  
If somebody's there then tell me who _

_Say my name, say my name  
if no one is around you  
say baby i love you  
if you aint runnin game  
Say my name, say my name  
you actin kinda shady  
aint callin me baby  
why the sudden change? _

_Say my name, say my name  
if no one is around you  
say baby i love you  
if you aint runnin game  
Say my name, say my name  
you actin kinda shady  
aint callin me baby  
why the sudden change?  
_


	6. Best Original Character

Matt just nods to Jason, who seems to be smiling again. "You look in a better mood dude. You take a happy pill in the back or something?"

Jason just shakes his head. "Nah, I just realized you were right."

"What, that we need a bigger whole in the ladies change room?"

That got a few angry reactions from the crowd, especially from those who had already stopped in there at some point. Jason just motioned them down, no longer smiling. "No, I mean about just enjoying this night. I worked hard for this, I should be having a good time."

"That's better. I was worried we'd have to use a drill or something to get that stick out of your..."

"MATT! This is a family broadcast. You can't say that."

"Say what?"

Jason just rolls his eyes. "You know what you were going to say, just don't say it. This is live, the censors can get us in trouble."

Matt just sighs, looking out over the audiance. "Oh come on, they've all heard that word, there's nothing to get ornery over here."

"Ornery?"

"Come on, you just pulled the stick out, don't pop it back in."

Jason grabbed Matt quickly by the front of his suit, pulling him to the back. He paused at the edge of the stage though, facing the crowd. "Let's welcome our next presenters, Blackbird and Jen Credible!"

Blackbird and Jen walk out on stage, smiling and waving to the crowd as they move over to the podium.

"Original Characters," Blackbird started with enthusiasm. "To some they're a vital part of fanfiction. A way of personalizing your stories and adding something to that world that even the creators themselves would have never thought of. To others they're a bane on the world of canon. A way for authors with overblown egos to put themselves into the stories and ruin everything about the show or movie they hold so dear. To others still they're...well they're dates," he remarked with a grien as he looked over at Jen. "Still, like it or not OCs are now and will continue to be a staple of fancition. They can be tricky to write and even tricker to get the people to like them, but the few who can get it right add something speical to the fandom that hopefully everyone can embrace. This year we'd have a find crop of them, and while none of mine were nominated, the ones who were deserved to be. So with that said, let's take a look at who was nominated."

"And the nominees are..."

----------------------------------------

**Grimm Probable - All Things Probable - Slyrr**

Kim's first impression was that he looked somewhat like Josh Mankey. But there were differences. His face was slightly more rounded. He was shorter, but looked more athletic. His eyes were hazel and his spiked hair swooped forwards, not back. He was wearing a black shirt and brown cargo pants - exactly like theirs. He smiled wryly at them.

'You're late, Kim Possible.' he said. 'I expected you to try and stop me _before_ I took out the guards. At least then they would have been awake to help you. I suppose you thought it would be cooler to jump me inside the base. So the drama.'

'Who _are_ you?' Kim asked, staring at the newcomer.

'Grimm.' he said, smiling broadly. 'Grimm Probable.'

'No _way_!' said Ron. He turned to Kim. 'He's... he's like_ you_ with a Y chromosome!'

-------------------------------------

**Isabel Gooding - Walking the Line - Starving Lunatic**

The redhead truly believed that now she and Shego belonged to each other since the green-skinned officer would now pay her complete and total attention, just like she did her master. They were sort of chained together by an invisible bond in her opinion; she just did not fully explain it because she was not sure if Shego wanted her mother to know that they were in an exclusive relationship now. Yes, she was still a pet and Shego was still her master, but there would be no more distracting partners coming through. Shego was all hers.

"Well, I suppose that much is true," Isabel concurred with Kim's logic.

"Don't encourage her," Shego ordered her mother. All she needed was someone getting Kim hyped and the petite hero would be running around the apartment for the rest of the week going on about how Shego was hers. Her mother did not have to live with that while she did and she was not looking to have to deal with that.

"What? You are solely her mistress, unless you have other pets around here you haven't told us about," the middle-aged female commented with a small smile on her face to further annoy her daughter.

"Oh, haha," the green-skinned female said dryly. She was now kicking her mother out once dinner was over. She did not have to put up with such crap.

"Honestly, I don't know how you keep one darling pet. I'm shocked she hasn't run away yet. You're always so crabby," Isabel remarked.

"It must be inherited," Shego shot back.

"From your father."

Okay, Shego was definitely throwing her mother out right after the meal. It was one thing to encourage her little monster, but it was unacceptable to one-up her in an argument by bringing up her father. Nope, Isabel had to go and that was a certainty.

------------------------------------

**Kasy & Sheki - Kasy/Sheki series - NoDrogs**

"Rina, look for a branch or something." said Sheki.

"Why?" asked Kasy, even as the naked molerat scrambled to obey Sheki.

"We're underground. No sunlight." pointed out Sheki. "We don't know how long we'll be down here before we get a chance to recharge our powers, we should save them."

"Good point." admitted Kasy. She stopped her hand from glowing, leaving Sheki to provide the illumination.

"Found one!" squeeked Rina, pulling a dead, dry branch toward the two girls.

"Good work!" said Kasy. She picked the branch up, breaking off a few twigs from it to fashion a torch. She cast a small fireball at the end of the torch, igniting it.

As soon as a bright yellow flame was burning on the end of the branch, Sheki turned off her own plasma glow.

"Ok, let's go." said Kasy, cautiously stepping into the water. The water was only about calf-deep, leaving the tops of Kasy's boots comfortably above water.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" said Sheki, following her sister. Rina, not wanting to get wet, scrambled to one side of the tunnel where rough, exposed stones formed a sort of mole-rat bypass bridge.

"It's a game." said Kasy. "The only way out is forward."

--------------------------------------------

"Wow ain't they something?" Blackbird remarked. "Now let's so who won."

He picked up the envolope and looked like he was about to open it, but stopped and looked over at Jen thoughtfully.

"You know what, why don't you read the winner?" he offered.

Jen jerked forward a bit and snapped her head to him in surprise.

"What?!" she screamed, causing feedback on the microphone.

"Oh come on, it only seems right."

"But...I can't," she whispered

"Yes you can."

"No. I. Can't," she said again, this time in more of a growl.

"And why not?"

"You know why."

"Oooh, forgetting these are we?" Blackbird replied as he pulled out a set of glasses from his coat pocket.

Jen blinked in surprise for a second then narrowed them dangerously at him.

"I hate you," she whispered.

"Yeah I know," he remarked as he set the glasses on the podium. "Now, get to reading woman!"

She let out an irritated growl then hung her head with a sigh and muttered something the mic couldn't quite pick up, before slipping on the thin rimmed glassed and looking up a little sheepishly at the crowd. She cleared her throat as she found her courage again and picked up the envelope.

"And the winner is..." she paused as she tore it open and pulled out the card within."**Isabel Gooding - Walking the Line - Starving Lunatic"**

Isabel Gooding made her way to stage and accepted the award from the Blackbird and Jen. "Thank you very much," she said to the presenter before turning her attention to the audience. "Thank you all for this. I'm honored by this and I'm accepting the award myself because Starving Lunatic is M.I.A for whatever reasons. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. So, thank you all once more. I'd also like to thank my little firefly. She's out there in the audience," Isabel said with a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Mommy, get the hell off the stage!" Shego shouted while an embarrassed blush invaded her face. She could not take that woman anywhere it seemed without her doing something totally embarrassing.

"I told you all she was out there. She likes making herself known," Isabel chuckled. She waved to the audience while stepping off the stage with her award in hand.

Kim and Ron started chuckling softly at their table, and Shego whirled on the pair quickly, lighting one hand. "Don't you even start Princess, unless you want me to start calling you by your mother's nickname all the time. I'm sure the crowd would get a real kick out of hearing me call you..."

"I'm good, sorry about that." Kim sank down into her chair, trying to avoid the satisfied look on Shego's face at having won that small battle.

Matt stumbles back onto stage, followed quickly by Jason. "Come on man, don't be that way. Look, I'll be good, no more comments about sticks, no more drooling, I'll be the epitome of professional."

"That's all I'm asking for."

"But seriously, if Tara shows any more leg, you will have to take me to the hospital for catatonia."

Jason just groaned. "Let's just go to our next performers. Let's welcome Queen, with Somebody to Love!"

_Can... anybody find be somebody to love?  
Each morning I get up I die a little, can barely stand on my feet  
Take a look (Take a look at yourself) in the mirror and cry (yeah, yeah)  
Lord, what you're doing to me  
I have to spend all my years in believing you  
But I just can't get no relief Lord  
Somebody (somebody) oooh somebody (somebody)  
Can anybody find me somebody to love? _

I work hard (she works hard) everyday of my life  
I work till I ache my bones, at the end (at the end of the day)  
I take home my hard earned pay all on my own  
I get down (down) on my knees (knees)  
And I start to pray (praise the Lord)  
'Til the tears run down from my eyes  
Lord somebody (somebody) oooh somebody (please)  
Can anybody find me somebody to love? (He wants help)

Every day - I try and I try and I try -  
But everybody wants to put me down  
They say I'm going crazy, they say I got a lot of water in my brain  
Got no common sense, (He's)I got nobody left to believe  
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah Oooh  
Somebody (somebody)  
Can anybody find me somebody to love?(Anybody find me someone to love)  
Got no feel I got no rhythm , I just keep losing my beat  
(you just keep losing and losing) I'm OK I'm alright (he's alright)  
I ain't gonna face no defeat, I just gotta get out of this prison cell  
One day I'm gonna be free Lord  
Find me somebody to love, find me somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love, find me somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love, find me somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love, find me somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love, find me somebody to love  
Somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody  
Find me somebody, find me somebody to love  
Can anybody find me...

_Somebody to love _

Find me somebody to love, find me somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love, find me find me find me  
Find me somebody to love, Somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love...  
Find me, find me, find me


	7. Best Minor Character

Matt smiles as he comes back onto the stage. "Isn't that sweet? Mrs. Gooding was just telling me the funniest story..."

Jason's eyes went wide, and he waved his hands frantically. "Matt, the microphones are back on, you might..."

Oblivious, Matt continued on. "She was just telling me a story about the first time she had to get her little firefly to use the potty. Man, I could have died laughing!"

Jason just groans, stepping well back of his partner. "Well, dying is definitely one possibility right now."

Both turned as they heard the furious yell from the audiance. Captain Kodak was, ineffectively, trying to hold Shego back, as she marched towards the stage, her hands blazing. It was only then that Matt realized just what was wrong. With a loud "EEP", Matt bolted from the stage, a very irate Shego trailing after him.

Jason chuckled softly as he turned to the audiance. "Umm... while Matt gets aquainted with a new level of pain, let's introduce our next presenters, VRWC and... umm... his dates?"

Polite applause filled the ballroom as VRWC walked up to the podium in a suit with black silk shirt and tie. As the supermodels with him followed him up there was the sound of a roomful of men having a nosebleed all at once. This is a difficult sound to describe and is best described by what came next, a resounding whack as all the women in the room hit their dates upside the head for their blatant ogling.

The ruggedly handsome man stood behind the podium and his supermodel dates arrayed themselves around him, the effect was another nosebleed head hitting combo. After a break for new Kleenex to be distributed among the men in the event of more nose bleeding VRWC cleared his throat and got ready to start presenting the award. Before he could speak though there was one last round of male nose bleeding followed up by solid hits upside the head by their dates.

"Ahem," VRWC stood as an Adonis among men as he cleared his throat and began to speak, "it's a great honor to be here tonight before such distinguished folk as yourselves. Tonight I'd like to begin by talking about a common menace that is a danger to us all. That menace is circus clowns, and I am here to tell you that you should not fear their evil. I have a plan to defeat clowns once and for all and make the world safe for us and our children!"

One of the supermodels leaned over and whispered into his ear, her leaning over caused yet another round of nose bleeds and head hitting. VRWC looked down at his speaking notes and casually put them back in his pocket, calmly reaching into the other coat pocket he pulled out another set of notes. The supermodels all giggled at him and their angelic chorus of voices caused all the men in the room to nosebleed again and all the women in the room to hit them upside the head… again."

VRWC looked around at the growing masses of Kleenex in the ballroom and the pale faces of all the men who had suffered severe blood loss through their noses, "Um can we get a clean up in here, and a few blood transfusions?"

The next few minutes were filled with activity as Janitor Joe swept through the room cleaning up all the Kleenex and paramedics went through hooking up the poor blood deprived men to bags of the life giving fluid. Finally everything was back to normal and the audience sat looking up at VRWC standing above them as a god receiving worship from his faithful.

At last VRWC held up his hand and a rapt silence gripped the crowd, "Okay, so I'm not here tonight to talk about how evil clowns are and how we should all act to ensure they are destroyed and can never threaten us again, though they are and we should. Instead I'm here to present an award to one of the fantastic writers who has won a Fannie Award, no pun intended. Now when I got the call to present the award for best minor character I had to pause and think why we needed an award for the best character under eighteen. Well it turns out that's not quite what 'best minor character' means, at least for my sanity though all the characters nominated in this category are under eighteen. I really hope they are, it would be just plain wrong-sick if Yori was like twenty in Exchange and was crushing on Ron, I mean he's only a sophomore in high school in that episode, that just cries for an eww ugh! But let's not dwell on such things and just assume that Yori is under eighteen in her episodes. Now, best minor character might not seem like that important of an award but let's remember that Kim Possible is a whole world and it's these 'minor' characters who make it a true world for Kim and Ron to have their adventures in. And each minor character, whether you love them or hate them, makes Kim Possible that much more of a real world for us to get into and write wonderful fanfictions about. All except the clowns, that Lord Laughtington from Bonding should be expunged from the Kim Possible universe and all record of any clowns having ever had any sort of presence in that world should be done away with. But there is good news; none of the nominees are clowns, one more step forward in our crusade to ensure that clowns never gain a foothold in the Kim Possible universe ever again."

At that VRWC had to pause as everyone in the room, Kigo and Kim/Ron and all the others jumped out of their seats in a thunderous standing ovation. All the supermodels started jumping up and down in their enthusiasm and a steady trickle of blood started from the nose of every man present. However unlike the times before this time the women were so busy applauding the progress made against clown invaders that they forgot to smack their dates upside the head for ogling the supermodels.

After several long minutes the applause finally died down, VRWC motioned for silence and once again the crowd was hanging on his every word, "Now every nominee is a great character in a great story by a great writer, but at the end of the night only one of these stories will stand triumphant, all the others will be remembered as falling short, but still some darn good stories. And just to make sure this is the best minor character who is actually a minor, there's no separate category for best minor character who is you know… not a minor. Nor is there an award for best major character, and I don't mean that in the over eighteen sense. But really there's not that much competition in that category, maybe after season four we can redefine some of these categories so my brain won't hurt when I have to present awards like this. And now while I know you'd all like to bask in my glorious presence far longer than this all good things must come to an end. So without further delay, the nominees for best minor character are…

---------------------------------

**Bonnie - Best Enemies - King in Yellow**

"Ready for you last final, Kim?"

"Yeah. Oh, Bonnie, I just wanted to say..."

"Thank you?"

"No, I wanted to say 'Drop dead,' but you wouldn't get the joke. Would you be willing to accept the title of my worst friend?"

"I guess so, that seems to hit it."

"Would you accept me giving you a hug?"

"Uh, I'd rather not."

"How about a kiss, can I slip you a little tongue?"

"KIM!"

"God, Bonnie, you are just too easy to freak out."

"Remember that when you come back from your final and I've had the lock changed on the door."

--------------------------------------

**Bonnie - In the Middle - Starving Lunatic**

Bonnie was invited to stay the whole winter break if she wanted and she took them up on that offer. She went out partying with Kim and Ron, who was home for the winter break too, on New Year's Eve and got to bring in the New Year with Possible family. It was the best New Year's that Bonnie had ever had and it was that stay with the Possible family that helped her decide that she had to go for what she wanted because they all believed that they could do anything and she did not see why she could not be the same way.

"Kim, you asleep?" Bonnie asked curiously from her space on the floor in Kim's room. She was resting on top of two sleeping bags and had a thick blanket covering her body to keep the cold away.

"No," Kim answered.

Bonnie sat up then, which her host noticed. "Do you mind if I give you a late Christmas gift?"

"Christmas gift?" the redhead echoed in a puzzled tone. She did not see why the tanned female would want to give her a Christmas present.

"Yeah. I mean, it was nice of you to invite me out and everything and I want to thank you for it. Is that all right?"

"Yeah, I guess." The hero did not see the harm in such a thing.

Bonnie got up from her bed and approached Kim's bed. The redhead was a little curious as to what Bonnie might have gotten her for Christmas and then she utterly shocked when she felt Bonnie's lips gently touching her. The kiss was not long at all, a couple of seconds, and it was not even the shocking moment of the night.

"I love you," Bonnie confessed.

"Whoa, wait a minute, slow down. Since when?" Kim asked incredulously.

**----------------------------------------**

**Yori - The Batman - Classic Cowboy**

"He deserves justice …" Ron growled, glancing to the oblivious murderer.

"Indeed, but if you go about it this way, it is not bringing him to justice, but making him a martyr and you the monster." Yori explained, softly placing her hand over Ron's gun.

"There's no other way; he's already got out of it easily in court," Ron sighed, "He deserves to rot for what he did to my parents."

"Listen to me, Ron-kun. I know the rage that drives you. That impossible anger strangling the grief, until the memory of your parents is just poison in your veins. And one day, you find yourself wishing the people you loved had never existed, so you would be spared your pain." Ron looked in awe at Yori. He had never suspected such emotion, such hatred had existed inside her.

"Would you become like him by doing to him what he did to you?" Yori asked, taking a sip of his drink. "Or would you rise above him and bring forth the justice he and others like him deserve?" Ron said nothing. "Ron-kun, if you go about it this way, you will prove that they got to you, which is nothing to be ashamed of. You are human, fallible, corruptible, mortal." Yori said, drifting off, "But, there is another way." Ron glanced at her. "As a man, you can be defeated. You can be killed or locked up, as is inevitable if you go through with this course of action. But, if you make yourself more than just a man... if you devote yourself to an ideal …" She smiled softly. "You'll become something else entirely."

"And that is?" Ron asked, with a slow nod.

"A Legend, Ron-kun."

--------------------------------------------

"And the winner is... **Bonnie - In the Middle - Starving Lunatic**

A blonde woman approached the stage and rudely snatched the Golden Rufie from VRWC. "For all of you who might not know me, I'm Trin Possible, creation of Starving Lunatic and I suggest you stop giving her these awards tonight as she is not going to make it to accept any of them. Just trust me on this one. No one makes me dream about being attracted to Shego and gets away with it," she declared and was about to storm off the stage, but seemed to think twice about it. "Oh, yeah, Starving would probably want to thank the readers and everyone for this award, but I'd rather loathe you for it. After all, you're the ones encouraging her to write such trash. So, quit it," she ordered before taking her leave, along with Starving Lunatic's award.

The crowd was mostly quiet, though there were a few quiet claps, as the woman left the stage. Jason just watched on with concern. That was when Matt came flying back onto stage, surprisingly only singed a little.

Jason just looked at him in surprise as he got to his feet. "Man, I expected... well... a bit more bruising then that."

"I did too, but we worked out a deal. I praise her throughout the show, and she holds off killing me. I think it's a good deal."

Jason just nodded, as he watched Shego retake her seat. "Yeah, I think so too. Anyways, let's welcome our next performer, Shania Twain, with 'Man, I Feel Like a Woman'!"

_Let's Go girls  
C'mon  
Im going out tonight Im feeling alright gonna let it all hang out  
Wanna make some noise, even raise my voice, yeah I wanna scream and shout  
No innovisions make no conditions get a little outta line  
I aint gonna act a little precorrect I only wanna have a good tiiiiime_

_The best thing about being a woman  
Is the perogative to have a litle fun yeah_

_Oh Oh Oh go tottaly crazy forget Ima lady  
Men shirt short skirts oh oh oh oh  
Really go wild yeah doing it in style  
Oh Oh Oh Get in the action feel the attraction  
Color my hair do what I dare Oh Oh Oh  
I wanna be free yeah feel the way I feel  
MAN iI feel liek a woman_

_The girls need a break tonight Im gonna take a chance to get out on the town  
We don't need romance, we only wanna dance  
we're gonna let our hair hang down_

_The best thing about being a woman  
Is the perogative to have a litle fun yeah_

_Oh Oh Oh go tottaly crazy forget Ima lady  
Men shirt short skirts oh oh oh oh  
Really go wild yeah doing it in style  
Oh Oh Oh Get in the action feel the attraction  
Color my hair do what I dare Oh Oh Oh  
I wanna be free yeah feel the way I feel  
MAN iI feel liek a woman_

_The best thing about being a woman  
Is the perogative to have a litle fun yeah_

_Oh Oh Oh go tottaly crazy forget Ima lady  
Men shirt short skirts oh oh oh oh  
Really go wild yeah doing it in style  
Oh Oh Oh Get in the action feel the attraction  
Color my hair do what I dare Oh Oh Oh  
I wanna be free yeah feel the way I feel  
MAN iI feel liek a woman_

_I get totally crazy  
can you feel it come come come on baby  
Whooo whooo whooo _

_I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN_


	8. Best AU

"You know, after that, I feel like a woman too."

Jason just turns to his partner, looking at him strangely. "Uhh... I don't think you should be saying things like that on a live show."

"What?" Matt looks at his partner, before looking out over the audiance, before finally cluing in. "Oh man, you thought... no man, I mean after those supermodels, and Tara before that... I think I REALLY need to get to my date."

Penny's voice comes through loud and clear. "Not gonna happen buster!"

Matt's expression gets a bit sullen, so Jason steps forward. "Well, while Matt considers his enforced chastity, let's bring out our next presenters. To present the award for Best AU Story, the umm... Gladiatorial Champion Ronnicus the Great and the King of Denial, Pharaoh Rutin Tutin. Matt, do we know a Ronnicus?"

The orchestra begins to play Miklós Rózsa's "Parade of Charioteers" from the film _Ben Hur_. A large cloud of smoke at the far corner of the stage is illuminated by spotlight. As the smoke clears, an old phone booth that had not been there before becomes visible.

Emerging from the warm embrace of Ma Bell, two oddly dressed figures step forward. The first wears a highly polished helmet and light armour common to a Samnite Gladiator over a brilliant white tunic and sandals. In a scabbard at his side is a short sword. He pulls off his helmet to reveal a somewhat familiar freckled face with unruly blonde hair. Turning back to the phone booth, he gives the classic chest-pounding Roman salute and yells "Rockus On, Dudium!"

The second is a large man in any era. He wears a tuxedo that was designed by the people who dressed Burgess Meredith as the feathered felon. On his head is a solid-gold-looking headdress acquired at the Middleton Police auction after the GWA / Jackal incident. He carries himself with both dignity and unease. Something not easily accomplished unless you happen to be wearing 50 pounds of gold-like material on your head.

As the polite applause dies, the presenters approach the podium.

"Would Your Majesty care to join us in Rome on the return trip? I have a standing invitation at Caligula's."

"Sorry Ronnicus, but I'm staying in this century for a few days. I have an appointment with the Doctor tomorrow."

"The Doctor? Who?"

"Precisely."

Out in the Audience, Ron Stoppable leans over to Kim Possible and quietly asks, "Is it just me? Or are this year's presenters good looking?"

"I don't know, Ron. The Pharaoh kind of reminds me of Herman Munster."

"I mean the Gladiator, KP. There's something about that guy I like."

Back at the podium, Ronnicus scratches the back of his neck with a confused expression on his face. "Any way, we're here to present the nominations for the Best Kim Possible AU Story."

"Yes Ronnicus. In the strictest sense of the word, every Kim Possible FanFic posted without the expressed consent of Disney is an Alternate Universe Story."

"True, your majesty. However, the nominees from this category are drawn from a more select field."

"If a story could seem to fit in with the established KP cannon if you squint hard enough, it is generally not considered AU."

"If a story features KP related characters interacting with the settings and characters of another story, that is often considered a cross-over, or a fusion. For example: Kim meting a grouchy trash-can-dweller on a seedy street might be a crossover. If said trash-can-dweller was played by Bonnie Rockwaller, that's a fusion."

"And the large number of stories that include prominent characters exploring a romantic relationship (one that is not likely to appear on the mouse channel) but still retain the feel of the show are in a category of their own."

"Pharaoh, why not just say the Kigo stories?"

Loud grumbling is heard from about a third of the audience.

"To avoid THAT reaction, Ronnicus."

"Anyway, the top nominees include a Mediaeval Legend, a Tall Tale from the Old West, and a humorous exploration of familiar characters with an unorthodox relationship."

"And the nominees are…"

---------------------------------------------------

**Best AU**

**Impossible Love - Zaratan**

Kimberly and Ron made their way up the stairs quickly, pausing only to listen at the door before opening it. Ron glanced down the hallway, checking to make sure it was empty, before he motioned for Kimberly to follow him. "It's just down this hallway. We can slip out the window and be over the wall in just a few minutes."

Kimberly nodded, admiring the way Ron seemed to be taking charge. Sure, he was still a bit goofy and clumsy, but this was a side of Ron she had never seen before. It was a side she definitely liked.

Ron paused at the window, pulling out the small tube that housed the grappling hook. "We can use this to scale down the wall. Wade said it has a silence spell on it, so we don't have to worry about making noise as we climb down. Now…"

A sudden noise behind them drew their attention, and they turned in time to spot Killigan round the corner. All three froze suddenly, and Killigan looked simply stunned. "Wha… how'd ya get oot of that cell Lassie?"

"PK, run! I'll hold him off." Ron pulled out his sword, moving to stand between him and his friend.

"Ron, I am not leaving you."

"Kimberly, please, you have to get out of here and warn your father before it's too late."

"How touching, the young hero, oot to save the wee slip of a lass. Sorry laddiebuck, ya'll nae be doin' any savin' today."

Killigan charged forward, driving his sword downward quickly, aiming to split the young man in two down the middle. Ron raised his sword to meet the blow, and was surprised to find himself still alive a moment later, though the pain in his arms and shoulders told him it had been a close call in that regard. A second swing from Killigan knocked the sword from his grasp though, and knocked Ron to the floor.

"RON!"

**-----------------------------------------**

**Middlewood - Yvj**

Ron slowly moved away from Kim and Josh. Dub knowingly followed him into the empty street. Ron put his hand up defensively "I'm serious, why does blood have to be spilled here. Let's just talk it out like civilized people, there's no good reason for us to fight."

"Yes there is, I'm calling you out. And that's all the reasons I need."

Kim held her breath; the atmosphere had suddenly turned tense. She wasn't sure what exactly was going on, there had never been a gunfight in Middlewood as far as she knew.

Ron stared at Dub for a moment. "No, I'm not going to fight you, there's no reason too."

"You ain't going to put me off. I know you're a gunslinger, I can tell by your eyes. No, we'll settle this here or I'm going to shoot you were you stand."

He's serious; he isn't going to back down. What am I going to do?

A familiar feeling came over Ron. His heart began to beat rapidly and there was a roar in his ears. The rest of the world faded away, and only he and Dub remained. He could hear nothing except for the sounds of his beating heart, the wind in his ear, and his own shallow breathing. Soon they would both combine into one bittersweet melody. A melody that every man in this profession heard, and for many of them, it was the last thing they would ever hear.

Timothy Murdoch, the man who taught Ron everything he knew about gun slinging, had known this song by heart and he aptly named it the Gunman's song.

Should I draw…what do I do….will he really draw on me? I really don't want to...Yeah, I'll have to draw, teach him a lesson, I don't have to kill him.

There was a moment of frozen silence, as a breeze kicked up dust around them. Ron counted his heartbeats.

Now

**----------------------------------------**

**The Gods Must Be Laughing - Starving Lunatic**

"Oh, a present!" Kim grinned and her master expected her to just tear into the paper to get to the gift, but the redhead did not do that.

The olive-eyed scientist carefully peeled away the wrapping paper away and revealed a white box. She opened the package and saw there was a message taped to the top of the container. It read "thanks for being a brat." Kim laughed and then looked at her gift, a box full of homemade chocolate chip cookies.

Betty was now her hero.

"Wow, you don't even bake me cookies!" Kim said to Shego while pointing at her mistress.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Shego demanded to know as if she was insulted. She was a bit offended because of the smile that her pet had on her face. She should be the only one that could make her little imp look like that. "Do you think she would mind another pet?" Kim mused aloud. She was joking, of course. She thought that it was a bit amusing that her mistress was upset just because she was happy that another woman made her cookies.

"Oh, you'd leave me for someone that bakes cookies?" the pale woman inquired with pretend anger.

"Wellâ€¦if they're good cookies," the redhead joked.

"You're asking for it, you know that? You think she would want a little punk like you for a pet? Especially a naughty little punk like you?" Shego teased and she began tickling her rascal.

"No! You're going to make me spill the cookies!" Kim cried as she tried to wiggle away.

--------------------------------------------

"And the Royal Order of the Golden Rufie for Excellence in an AU Story goes to…"

Pause

"Ronnicus, you're supposed to open the envelope now."

"I thought you had the envelope, Pharaoh."

Then a noise is heard from the catwalk above the auditorium. A spotlight shines up into the rafters revealing a nubile figure in a green silk tunic covered in the armour of a Thracian Gladiator. Leaping from the ceiling, she grabs the boom arm of a microphone and swings on to the stage. Performing a double-somersault, she sticks her landing right next to the unprepared presenters. Although her helmet hides the face of this mysterious masked gladiator quite well, flame red hair can be seen cascading down her back.

"You're both completely hopeless after the industrial revolution. I can't take you anywhen!"

Pulling the envelope from her tunic, the mystery woman reads, "The Golden Rufie is awarded to... **Middlewood - Yvj**

Yvj steps up to the podium looks over the crowd "YO ADRIAN I DID IT" he exclaims.

"No seriously Fans, today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth. I have been in this fandom for almost two years and I have never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you fans."

"Look at these grand writers nominated for this category. Which of you wouldn't consider it the highlight of his year to associate with them for even one day?"

"Sure, I'm lucky. Who wouldn't consider it an honor to be nominated with the great Zaratan and the wonderful Starving Lunatic.!"

"Sure, I'm lucky. When even some kigo fans who I'd give my right arm to waste my time debating with over the net, tell you congratulations, that's something! When everybody chooses to honor your story even though it's just six chapters long, full of spelling errors and some historical inaccuracies, that's something."

"When the fans pick your story from a pack of elite writers that I can't even begin to compare myself to that's something!"

"So I close in saying that this fandom has been great to me and I'm glad that I've given something back. Here's hoping I don't mess up a good thing. Thanks again everyone for your kindness."

"And from Kim and Ron of Middlewood I like to shoutYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

After the presentation, Ronnicus and the Masked Gladiator return to the phone booth. The Pharaoh can be seen mingling with the guests before being roped in by Jocelyn Possible.

Matt seems reserved as he comes back on stage. "Well... he was... enthusiastic."

"Come on Matt, you were the same way last year."

"I was not!" Matt actually looked insulted. "I was much more dignified."

Jason just looks at him seriously. "You wrestled me for the statue."

Matt begins to blush, looking sheepish. "You remember that, do you?"

"Uh huh."

"Umm... looks go to our next performers... umm... is this right? It says Elvis, but..."

"Well, it is the alternative universe category. He probably popped in from one of those ones."

"All right. Anyways, here's Elvis with Heartbreak Hotel!"

_Well, since my baby left me,_

_I found a new place to dwell._

_It's down at the end of lonely street _

_at Heartbreak Hotel._

_You make me so lonely baby, _

_I get so lonely,_

_I get so lonely I could die._

_And although it's always crowded,_

_you still can find some room._

_Where broken hearted lovers _

_do cry away their gloom._

_You make me so lonely baby, _

_I get so lonely,_

_I get so lonely I could die._

_Well, the Bell hop's tears keep flowin',_

_and the desk clerk's dressed in black._

_Well they been so long on lonely street _

_They ain't ever gonna look back._

_You make me so lonely baby, _

_I get so lonely,_

_I get so lonely I could die._

_Hey now, if your baby leaves you,_

_and you got a tale to tell._

_Just take a walk down lonely street _

_to Heartbreak Hotel._


	9. Best CrossoverFusion

"Now aren't you happy you stayed with it? I mean, other than the violence against me by the wonderful, beautiful and stunning Shego, this night has been pretty good."

"You're right of course. Things have been pleasantly fun. And it's going to get even more fun when I introduce our next presenters, Visigoth29527 and Mitsune Konno!"

An oddly mis-matched pair make their way to the podium. The woman, a voluptuous silvery haired Japanese beauty, is escorted by a short, stocky American man with a freshly shaved head. His jet black tuxedo is countered by her elegant silver backless gown, and she is at least six inches taller. As they approach, the woman stares at the coveted Golden Ruffie. "What's that supposed to be, sugah?" Though clearly Japanese, the woman spoke with a deep southern drawl. "Some kind of gopheh?"

"Not exactly. It's a statue of Rufus, Ron's pet naked mole rat. It's the award we're supposed to be giving away. It's called a Ruffie."

"A... Ruffie."

"Yes. Now can we get on with the show?"

"Not just yet, sweetie. The show is called 'The Fannies.' And if ya win y'all get a statue called a Ruffie."

"Er, well, yeah." The look on Mark's face clearly revealed his discomfort with Kitsune's line of questioning.

Kitsune raised an eyebrow over her permanently slitted eyes. "Are y'all sure that this isn't just a little perverted?"

"Shh. You're holding up the show. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to first thank my kind readers for actually nominating me for two awards this year. Though I didn't even make top three, I am flattered that..."

"Don't they usually reserve the thank you speeches for the winners, sugah?"

Mark stopped mid-sentence, slowly closed his mouth, and glanced sideways at his presentation partner. "Right... Okay, can I thank Jason, Matt, and all the others who organized this?"

"Why sure, honey. In fact, ya just did!" She giggled as Mark rolled his eyes towards the heavens.

After taking a deep breath, Mark continued. "Crossover and fusion fics can be very entertaining to read. These stories ask my favorite question: What if? What if Ron became Batman? What if Kim had bionic implants? What would happen if Team Possible had to face monsters and nightmares, or were put in the S-Cry-ed universe?"

"What if you tell us who won already?"

"Hey, I'm trying to build this up, set up some drama! I've got this nice speech here, if you'll let me finish..."

"Is that real gold?" Kitsune was examining the golden sculpture of Rufus.

Mark slumped his shoulders. "I doubt it. They don't have that kind of money. Now would you please just read the cue cards I gave you?"

"Ah don't have 'em, sugah. Where would I put 'em in this dress?"

"Oh kami-sama... I give up. I just wanted to give a good speech..." He began beating his head against the podium.

"Theyuh theyuh, sugah." She put her hand on his shoulder, turning him towards her. "Let Kitsune make it all bettuh." She hugged him, planting his face in her ample chest.

A loud, soprano female voice bellowed from a table in the back of the room. "Urashi... er, I mean VISIGOTH! How DARE you attempt to defile a young maiden in public! You vile, lecherous, perverted male!" A rather tall, athletic Japanese girl with long black hair began running towards the stage. "I will end your disgusting ways! Prepare to taste my blade, villain!"

"Oh crap!" Mark practically levitated away from Kitsune and her... assets. "M-Motoko?! How did you get here? I didn't do anything, I swear!" He turned and fled backstage as fast as he could. "It was her idea! Weren't you watching?" The two disappear backstage, leaving Kitsune alone at the microphone. Screams and crashes could be heard clearly.

Offstage, Jason turned to Matt. "How did she get that sword past security?"

Matt continued to watch the carnage. "I think it was Will on the door."

"Well," Kitsune sighed, "Ah guess Ah'd better get back theyuh and stop Motoko before she huhts him. He hasn't taken me out tuh dinnah yet. Oh, and the nominees for Best Crossovuh or Fusion are..."

---------------------------------------------------

**Not Quite Human - Whitem**

"Ron…" Quinn breathed, she thought to herself, but he had heard.

"The names Roscoe. And you are…?" He pointed the blade he held right at Quinn's face. She stayed silent.

"What have you found Roscoe Honey?" Shego walked up behind him and draped an arm over his shoulders.

"Looks like an intruder, Babe."

_Honey? Babe? And why does Ron think his name is Roscoe?_ Quinn thought as Roscoe placed the point of his blade under her chin, making her stand.

"Hey! I've seen this girl before!" Shego said. "She was at yo… I mean Stoppable's funeral! I KNEW you were going to be trouble! Take her out back and take care of this… intruder."

Roscoe placed a hand on Quinn's shoulder, stepped around her, and put the tip of his blade at the back of her head. "Walk." He commanded.

Faster than a blur, Quinn spun around, smacking Roscoe's hand and sent the sword flying. It embedded itself about 6 inches into a solid concrete wall! She wanted to get this… Roscoe away from Shego so she could tell him who she really was, and straighten out Ron's head.

Before she knew what happened, Roscoe planted two feet to Quinn's midsection, sending her out the door she was supposed to walk through. As Quinn stood, she saw the blade wrench itself free from the wall, and then fly out the door and into his hand!

With a running leap, Roscoe bore down on Quinn, who raised both hands and caught the blade by smacking her hands together as she had seen in the movies. Twisting her hands to the side, she flipped it out of his hands again sending it flying into a nearby tree.

Quinn was still stunned that she was fighting Ron, and it caused her to mis-judge Roscoe's next move. He lunged at her and caught her by the neck, his eyes blazing with blue energy. Squeezing with all his might, Roscoe had no idea he was working against a medtium skeleton, and enhanced muscles.

Quinn whispered just loud enough for Ron to hear. "Ron… it's me... Kim!" She locked her arms with his and tried to force him off, but was unable to, even with the bionics!

She dropped to her back, and placed her feet on his stomach thrusting out, throwing Ron about ten feet. She could have pushed harder… but she was fighting Ron! _There's no way I'm going to hurt him!_

Roscoe leaped up with a mule kick, and called the blade to him as he ran at this… this… _who is this again?_ He thought as the blade sailed over her head, dodging what would have certainly cut off anyone else's head.

Quinn continued to dodge out of the way of each of his strikes. One finally connected with her forearm, and unyielding metal clanged on equally unyielding metal. Sparks flew out of her arm where the cut had nicked some circuits inside, and the syntho skin then re-sealed itself, while the internal circuitry re-routed itself.

"What… ARE you?" Roscoe said as he drew the blade back for another strike. This time Quinn was faster, and took a chance with a bear hug, pinning his arms at his side. Roscoe struggled, but he couldn't get away from her grip.

"Ron!" Kim hissed into his ear. "Is this really you? Why are you fighting me? I'm Kim! You know? Your friend? Your partner? Your… girlfriend?"

The last statement made Roscoe stop struggling. "What…?"

"I need to show you something, but I need to let you go first. Do you promise not to attack me for at least a minute?"

"I… guess…" Roscoe felt very confused at the moment. Quinn slowly released her grip, and then reached up to her real eye, and removed the contact, revealing her original green eye. She then closed both eyes, and matched the bionic eye color to her real one.

Opening her eyes, she then looked deep into Ron's deep brown orbs. "Do you remember me now?"

Roscoe was transfixed. He couldn't look away from those beautiful green eyes. Eyes that seemed to look all the way into his soul. Eyes that said he was the one that KP had loved, and will always love. _KP. K… Kim. P… Possible. KP! Kim Possible!_

"KP?" Ron said, his eyes starting to tear up.

"Yeah, Ron. It's me." She said smiling. "But don't tell Shego or Drakken. They think I'm Quinn Probable"

"What did they do to you, Ron?" Kim said after a heartbeat. He fell to the ground bawling like a child as he recalled everything that Shego had told him, and made him do.

"I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to leave me, Kim. The things I've done. The things I've…"

"Shh… shhh… shhh" Kim said as she knelt on the ground holding his heaving shoulders. "Ron? I think I know a way to make you feel better."

**---------------------------------------------**

**The Batman - Classic Cowboy**

"You disappoint me," Ra's Al Ghul sneered down at Ron as he pushed himself up onto his hands and knees on his own living room floor. Ron wiped the blood from his mouth and glanced up at his attacker. "Master Sensei had great faith in you, Ronald. I had great faith in you. You have failed me, you have failed justice, and you have failed yourself."

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!!" Barbara's small voice called as she dove at Ra's, only to be batted roughly by the Japanese crime lord's cane. The child yelped at the impact and flew backwards into the unforgiving wall harshly.

"Pathetic child," Ra's snorted, turning away from Ron. Ra's missed the flashing anger burning in his brown eyes. "Now to finish you, Stoppable. It is sad really. It seems your peers were correct. You are nothing."

"No … I am far more than nothing," Ron growled rising to his full height in one fluid motion. Ra's eyes widened as she felt a sliver of terror enter warlord's heart, a sliver that quickly became a giant creature of pure fear. "I am Justice." He said taking a step towards Ra's, causing the mastermind to back up into the wall. "I am your Nightmares." he growled in the most menacing voice to ever cross Ra's ears. "I am … **BATMAN!**"

**------------------------------------------------**

**Trio - Weirdbard**

"Bit harsh aren't you Betty?" Ash asked. "Your people have been through a trying ordeal and things are safe now. Why push them? Why not let them rest a bit? What more could possibly happen now?"

Red lights started flashing and a female Global Justice agent ran up to Dr. Director. "We have reports from a surface entry point on the outskirts of Middletown that there is an intruder."

An exhausted Ron hanging between Shego and Kim managed to raise his head to look at Ash. "Dude even I know you never ask what more could happen!"

As a group they made their way to a still standing computer desk and watched as the agent that had made the report to Dr. Director typed at the console. Soon a security image showed on the screen.

A tall person wearing dirty coveralls was striding towards two agents. The coverall wearing person had a hockey mask over its face. The agents pulled their guns and after ordering the individual to stop and it not obeying them, they opened fire into the person attacking them but it didn't even slow the figure down. The hockey masked individual reached the two agents and reaching out with glove covered hands it grasped the agents by their heads.

Suddenly the two agent's heads exploded from the pressure the individual wielded single handedly.

Kim who had seen a lot of violence over the years stopping freaks bent on taking over the world still hadn't seen such graphic violence and gasped. Shego being a violent criminal but still one who prided herself on never killing anyone paled as well.

"That is just wrong and sick." Ron stated.

The hockey masked individual stared up to where the camera was mounted and the group could see into the eye holes of the hockey mask but all they could see was a darkness that hid the eyes of the attacker.

The individual suddenly hurled single handedly one of the agent's dead bodies he was clutching and the camera stopped broadcasting.

"What the hell was that?" Ash asked in the stunned silence of the group.

"Jason Voorhees." Dr. Director whispered.

**-----------------------------------------------------**

**Warriors of the Lost - Starving Lunatic**

"Surrender now," Kim commanded.

Shego made a fist; obviously, the little redheaded GJ agent wanted her skinny ass beat. She had no problem with obliging. In fact, she would have to do just that to make it back home. One false move and GJ would be putting the cuffs on her. /To hell with that/.

"How many do you think she'll use?" Tara asked Josh.

"Probably four," Josh answered.

"Wow, that's it?" the blonde said, amazed.

Shego aimed her fist at Kim in a threatening manner. The redhead stood calmly as the native Alter's third spike disappeared and Shego charged her with an arm seared in green flame.

Shego smirked. She was going to knock the GJ agent's head off with her third shell bullet; the bitch hadn't even called up her Alter yet. Kim stood with her arms folded across her chest, looking terribly bored as Shego blazed at her. The pale woman cocked her fist back to throw another devastating punch, only to have her knuckles slam into an invisible force-field barely a millimeter from Kim's nose. The resistance caused the shockwave that normally amplified her punch's ferocity to recoil and all the energy she'd just released came ricocheting right back at her, knocking her backwards a few yards.

"What the hell?" the moss-hued native Alter gasped.

"You native Alters are all brute force. Your Alter will not defeat mine," Kim stated as if she were reporting the weather.

"What Alter?" Shego asked herself as she stared at her opponent, and then she noticed it. There were four small dark pink spheres floating in front of Kim, forming a square.

The redhead lowered her gaze. "Surrender. Now."

--------------------------------------------------

"And the winner is... **The Batman - Classic Cowboy**

Classic Cowboy jumps triumphantly onto the stage, almost laughing as he reaches the podium.

"This story I really put my heart into writing. Obviously I'm a major Kim Possible fan, but I've been a fan of the Dark Knight for even longer. This isn't my first KP/Batman crossover, but while writing Knights and after watching Batman Begins I started to think under the proper circumstances, Ron Stoppable would make a good Batman. While not as dark or brooding as Bruce Wayne, given the proper push he could be just as determined to protect using fear and darkness as Bruce. The Batman is just as much a story of Ron becoming the Dark Knight of Triton, as it is the story of two former lovers, both wounded and hurting and alone then finding each other again. Ron travels the world for a few years and comes back with two missions: Save the city from a crime wave, and make things up to KP. I really do appreciate everyone who's read and reviewed my story, and I want to thank DC and Disney for their wonderful characters, my beta readers Daywalker, Fusionblaster, and Jareth Lionine for all their help and input in the story, Jezrianna for her taking up a cross of crossovers with me and her fics, and last but not least everyone who put a vote in for me here. I will say this my friends, the story is far from over, I have one more major story arc and several more stories to follow to take place in Triton. Everyone stay tuned to the same Bat-channel, at the same Bat-time for the conclusion to "The Batman" followed by such fics as "The Batman: Flight of the Birds of Prey", "The Batman: Triton PD" and finally "The Batman: Dark Knight Reigns"! Again, thanks for the reads, reviews and folks everyone! G'NIGHT!"

"Well folks, looks like we can take the Classic Cowboy out of Classic Cowboy Syndrome."

Matt just starts laughing. "So what, we'll just call it the Syndrome now? Isn't that the name of an Incredibles villain?"

Jason just shakes his head, raising a hand over his eyes. "Why did I ever think you could take anything seriously. Let's just move on to our next performer, Rod Stewart, with Faith of the Heart!"

_It's been a long road  
Getting from there to here  
It's been a long time  
But my time is finally near _

And I can feel the change in the wind right now  
Nothings in my way  
And they're not gonna hold me down no more  
No there not gonna hold me down

Cause I've got faith of the heart  
I'm going where my heart will take me  
I've got faith to believe  
I can do anything  
I've got strength of the soul  
And no one's gonna bend or break me  
I can reach any star  
I've got faith  
I've got faith  
Faith of the heart

It's been a long night  
Trying to find my way  
Been through the darkness  
Now I finally have my day  
I will see my dream come alive at last  
I will touch the sky  
And they're not gonna hold me down no more  
No there not gonna change my mind

Cause I've got faith of the heart  
I'm going where my heart will take me  
I've got faith to believe  
I can do anything  
I've got strength of the soul  
And no one's gonna bend or break me  
I can reach any star  
I've got faith  
Faith of the heart

I've known a wind so cold and seen the darkest days  
But now the winds I feel are only winds of change  
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain  
But I'll be fine

Cause I've got faith of the heart  
I'm going where my heart will take me  
I've got faith to believe  
I can do anything  
I've got strength of the soul  
And no one's gonna bend or break me  
I can reach any star  
I've got faith  
Faith of the heart

Faith of the heart  
I'm going where my heart will take me  
I've got faith of the soul  
That no one's gonna bend or break me  
I can reach any star  
I've got faith  
I've got faith  
Faith of the heart

Its been a long road


	10. Best Alternative Pairing Story

Jason and Matt stride back on stage, Jason smiling. "You know Matt, this is one of the categories I really like."

Matt just looks at him. "That has nothing to do with the fact that you won this category last year?"

Jason just gives him a look. "No, seriously, this is one category where anything goes. You don't see the same things every time, the writers get to get creative. And it's not just the different ways you can pair Kim or Ron, I'm talking about all the other characters who get into the game, like Wade and Joss, or Tara and Kevin, or even... Shego and Mr. Barkin..."

"I knew it!"

"Anyways, let's present our next presenters, JPMod and Yori!"

Grinning, JPMod and Yori walked out onto the stage toward the podium, side by side with her right arm in his left. He was in a black tux with red bow-tie and cummerbund, while she looked striking in red evening gown, red choker, and black high-heel sandals. The gown was shoulderless and held up by a single wide strap going over the right shoulder, and the hem ended mid calve with two leg slits running up both sides up to mid thighs.

Upon reaching the podium, they let go of each other and the applause died down.

"Thank you!" JPMod began. "It's quite an honor to be here tonight for the 2nd Annual Fannies Awards, and Yori and I are proud to present the award for the Best Alternative Pairing Story."

"Indeed, George-kun," Yori chimed, as he turned his head to locked eyes with hers briefly before she faced the audience with him watching her. "The fanfiction community has written many wonderful stories, and this award is to acknowledge the best pairings that are not either Possible-san/Stoppable-san or Possible-san/Shego-san."

Still grinning, JPMod faced the audience. "That's right. Pairings like Joss and Wade…" Joss slyly grinned at Wade who blushed. "Felix and Monique…" Monique blinked, not having had thought of dating the wheelchaired boy, while Felix hummed, thinking what it would be like to date Kim's best female friend. "Heck, even odd pairings like DrakKim."

Kim and Ron instantly gagged and spoke at the same time. "WRONGSICK!"

Drakken stood up and pointed toward Kim. "Me?! Date Kim Possible?! Not likely!" he finished with his arms crossed.

Mr. Dr. Possible stood up and pointed toward his ex-college friend. "You stay away from my Kimmie-cub, Drew, or else you'll be put in a black hole! Literally!"

JPMod noisily cleared his throat to get everyone's attention, making the blue-skinned villain sat back down while Mr. Possible was dragged back down by the arm by his wife.

After shaking her head slightly at the display, Yori brought everything back on track. "I particularly enjoyed your stories, George-san." Locking eyes with his smiling date, JPMod grinned, for he already knew this when she had told him before. "I had always imagined what it would be like to date Stoppable-san." She turned her head slightly to wink at the blond boy at his table.

Kim softly growled and latched her arm around her BF's, causing him to immediately notice her expression.

"Amp down, KP," Ron whispered to her. "Yori is just teasing. You and I know she had accepted our relationship. Lay down the jellin."

Yet instead of calming down, the redhead only growled some more before reaching into her purse to pull out a stick-it paper and pen. She wrote on the paper and then slapped it onto her boyfriend's chest.

Looking down on his chest, Ron could make out the words "Property of Kim Possible!" on it. He turned to see a smirking grin on his girlfriend's face. "You know I'm always yours, KP," the blond softly said with an amused, soft grin.

"I know," Kim replied back before reaching over to plant a soft smooch on his lips at the same time Ron was taking off the paper from his chest.

At the kids table just behind Kim and Ron, the Tweebs heard everything their sister and her boyfriend had said. They eyed each other and evilly grinned, knowing they have now new ammunition to rib their older sibling. Despite they were getting along better with her since joining Middleton High as freshmen, the two boys were going to do it anyway.

"Hicka-bicka-boo?" Jim asked

"Hooshah," Tim answered before the twins high-fived each other.

Back at the stage's podium, JPMod gave a proud grin. "Well, I'm glad you like my stories, Yori."

"It's too bad you weren't nominated this year, George-kun," Yori pointed out.

Giving a shrug, JPMod grinned and picked up a card and held it up between him and his companion so they could both see it. "Well, there's always next year, Yori. Besides, if I did make the top three nominations, I wouldn't able to be up here on stage besides you."

Her cheeks blushing a bit, Yori smirked. "Flattery will get you nowhere."

There were a few "Ooooo!" and snickering from the audience, causing JPMod now to blush a bit.

Taking the good-natured teasing in stride, JPMod focused on the card, prompting Yori to do the same. "And the nominations for Best Alternative Pairing Story are…"

---------------------------------------------

**BE, S1 : Blue Eyes Shining - Cpneb**

"Come on, Wade, it's all right," Joss said as she tried unsuccessfully to pull Wade up the stairs to her loft, one hand pulling and the other holding her flag from Claudia Rose.

"Are you sure Slim said it's all right for me to be up there?" Wade asked one more time, more than a little scared.

"What are you a'skert of, Wade? Cooties?" and she snickered as he frowned.

"All right, Miss Smarty-Skirt, I'm coming up," Wade pulled his arm loose, and Joss walked up the stairs to her loft, followed by Wade.

"Here's home, sweet home, Wade," she announced as she placed the flag on her desk, and turned back to see Wade stopped with his head barely sticking above the floor.

"WADE!"

"All right," he pouted, and he took the final steps into Joss' room. He looked around, confused.

"Did you expect a wall filled with bras and panties, or what?" Joss needled him, and he shuddered at the thought.

"Joss," his voice was quiet, "I haven't been in a girl's room since Stephanie, and she was seven years older than me," he explained.

"Oh, Wade," she stepped over to him and hugged him.

"Look," and she pointed to the picture over her bed:

It was the picture of Wade and Joss after Kim's party; Wade had his arm around Joss' waist, and he was smiling broadly as his head was tilted slightly towards Joss. Joss had her arm around Wade, and her smile, one of simple love and desire to be with someone special and caring, captured her face, and her blue eyes danced in the picture.

Wade was wearing one of Slim's Lazy-C ranch Meezod shirts and pair of khaki pants, and he looked relaxed and protective. Joss was wearing the same outfit, only hers was tighter and left no doubt that she was a she, her red hair slightly danced as if there was a slight breeze that had just subsided.

They both looked like that both of their lives' dreams had been answered.

"Joss," Wade's voice was soft, "it's beautiful. The picture, I mean: you're beautiful in any picture.

"If you give me a copy of this picture, I'll have everything I want and desire for Christmas; well," he smiled and gave her the look, "almost everything," he said as he placed his hands on each side of her head and pulled her into a kiss that took her breath away.

Wade's kiss said 'I'll love your forever,' and 'I'll never take advantage of you,' and 'I'll wait for you forever if I have to.'

"All I want for Christmas, Jocelyn," he whispered, "I have: I have your love, and that's all I'll ever need from you," and he kissed her hand.

**-----------------------------------------**

**Four Friends - CaptainKodak1**

The lights went out, and only the dim emergency lighting came on. Josh and Tara stepped quietly down a nearby set of stairs and entered a dark hallway. They had to feel their way down the hall until they found the door they were looking for. Tara pulled one of the special computer combs from a pocket on her suit, and slid it in the doorjamb. The comb beeped, and the door clicked open. Josh and Tara slid inside, and stood quietly as their eyes scanned the room. They saw two familiar heads in the very dim light of the room. Tara approached the short haired head, and putting her arm around the neck, gave the lips a kiss. Josh did the same to the other head.

"Gee Tara, like, I know we're friends, _but_…" Tara shrieked and jumped back when the Ron head spoke with Kim's voice.

"Josh, dude, like, let's not go there…" Josh jumped back so fast, he stumbled and fell.

A light came to life as Tara activated her suit illumination. She nearly screamed again before Josh slapped his hand over her mouth. They both stared at the apparition in front of them. Josh tried to speak, but couldn't. Tara gently pushed Josh's hand down, and with a quivering voice, asked… "HOW?"

The figure shrugged its shoulders.

"Amy stuck us in that freaky machine of hers" one head stated.

"And this is how we came out" the other head finished.

"Great, now we're talking like the tweebs." The Kim head stated.

Wade's face came on the screen on Tara's suit.

"Tara, have you found Kim and Ron yet?" he asked.

"You could say so." Tara answered and turned her suit camera to show KimRon.

"SSsssppppppp" Wade spit half of his drink all over his computer screen.

"Kim… Ron… _What happened?" _He asked.

"This is getting rather…" Kim's head started

"Repetitive" finished Ron's head.

Both heads looked at each other.

"We have _got_ to stop talking like the tweebs" The heads chorused.

"You stop." One head stated.

"No, you stop." The other replied.

"YOU BOTH STOP!" yelled Tara. "You two are giving me a _headache_."

**----------------------------------------**

**In the Middle - Starving Lunatic**

They watched Kim as she sat with her cards in one hand while the other hand played with the stick of a lollipop that she was eating, which was only annoying them further. They wagered candy and clothing when playing to prolong the activity. Now, they were just prolonging the agony of watching Kim work that damn lollipop. Bonnie and Shego glanced at each other as if saying "if that thing is still in her mouth a minute from now, screw the game and get her." Bonnie wondered how it was possible that Kim was winning the game. She was a lawyer, she should be able to read people and tell when they were bluffing. It was not working at the moment with the redhead. It never worked with the olive-eyed female. She sat there so casual about everything, as if she came to the table already knowing that she would win the prize. It bothered Bonnie to no end.

Shego could understand that because she could not read Kim either. She had only been fighting the girl since Kim was sixteen. She figured by now she would know what every muscle tick meant, what every inhale meant, what every exhale meant, and what every blink meant, but that was not the case. Seven years of going at it with Kim and she could not read the girl for one damn hand of poker! It was unbelievable to her. She was disgrace to her ninja and thief training for not being able to read the redhead in the situation.

Kim glanced up at her lovers, totally aware of their internal struggles. Pondering how it was that they could know her for so long, but could not read her right to get her down to her under garments like they were. They seemed to forget that she was Kim Possible. She was used to being in sticky situations and she had to keep her cool. Playing poker was nothing to escaping a crocodile pit or a giant mutant octopus.

After each lady felt that they had assessed the situation from every angle plausible, they began making their bets. They paid close attention to what Kim was doing to hopefully get an idea of if she was bluffing, as she tended to do, or if she was holding another killer hand. By the end of it, they had no idea what Kim was holding, but they had a feeling that it was going to blow them out of the water and they were right.

"Damn it, that's like fourth straight flush she's gotten tonight," Shego groaned. "Are you purposely dealing her these cards?" the pale woman asked Bonnie.

---------------------------------------------

"And the winner is... **In the Middle - Starving Lunatic**

Trin returned to the stage. "You people don't listen, do you? I told you, she's not going to be here to accept these awards. If she's wise, she's hiding under her bed right now and praying that my evil twin hasn't found her yet, although that's not likely. So, just stop wasting your time on giving her these things as she's not going to be here," Trin stated and then she left the stage with the award in hand.

Jason just frowns when the stage is clear. "Man, I really wish Starving could have made it."

"Hey, at least the one picking up the awards is hot. Anyways, let's welcome our next performance, The Velvet Underground with Venus in Furs!"

_Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather  
Whiplash girlchild in the dark  
Clubs and bells, your servant, dont forsake him  
Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart _

Downy sins of streetlight fancies  
Chase the costumes she shall wear  
Ermine furs adorn the imperious  
Severin, severin awaits you there

I am tired, I am weary  
I could sleep for a thousand years  
A thousand dreams that would awake me  
Different colors made of tears

Kiss the boot of shiny, shiny leather  
Shiny leather in the dark  
Tongue of thongs, the belt that does await you  
Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart

Severin, severin, speak so slightly  
Severin, down on your bended knee  
Taste the whip, in love not given lightly  
Taste the whip, now plead for me

I am tired, I am weary  
I could sleep for a thousand years  
A thousand dreams that would awake me  
Different colors made of tears

Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather  
Whiplash girlchild in the dark  
Severin, your servant comes in bells, please dont forsake him  
Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart


	11. Best Kigo Story

Jason is just shaking his head as he comes back on stage. "You chose that song, didn't you Matt?"

Matt just smiles sheepishly. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"What am I going to do with you?"

"Umm... introduce me to some of the ladies after the show is over?" Matt just looked at him hopefully"

"Ugh... let's welcome our next presenters, Felix and Rufus!"

Felix rolls onto the stage, Rufus perched on his shoulder, waving to the crowd. Felix grabs the microphone, smiling to the crowd. "hey folks, it's great to be here, even though we were only selected to present this award because it was felt that Shego would have the hardest time taking out her aggressions on someone in a wheelchair and a small animal."

This elicited a few chuckles from the crowd, though Shego just grumbled.

Rufus moved in now, chattering on Felix's shoulder. "Hrk... Shego and Kim... umm... okay!" Rufus raised his paws in a thunbs up, though how he managed to approximate that type of a maneuver was beyond anyone in the audiance.

"And now, the nominees for Best Kigo Story are..."

----------------------------------------

**Alone Together - Failte200**

Her throat felt dry. She was about to marry Kim. This was big. This had the force of forever behind it.

They turned and faced each other in front of the altar. Kim held up the index card she had written her vows on.

_Marry her... oh my god..._

"I, Kim Possible, here-" Shego grabbed the card and lit her hand with plasma. It _whuffed_ into ashes and fell at her feet.

"S-Shego! What are-"

"I don't want to know what you wrote, Kim. I want to know why you wrote it." Suddenly, Shego was taking this very, very seriously.

Kim had worked for eight hours on that card, most of it just trying to think of how to say what she thought ought to be said. She'd used an unabridged dictionary and thesaurus to do it. Each word had been painstakingly wrought. She'd had to empty her trashcan four times to get it right, and her wrist _still_ hurt from writer's cramp.

"Shego -"

Shego took Kim's hands in her own and said again, "I want to know why you wrote it, Kim..."

Kim tried to make out the expression on Shego's face. She'd never seen one like it. Shego was dead earnest, that much was clear, but there were other things there too: love, exposure, vulnerability, and maybe even a little surprise. Maybe a little fear.

"I wrote it because... because I knew I'd never be able to find the right words. Actually, I probably still didn't... I wrote it because I wanted you to know... how I felt about you, and how... how I wanted to be with you and... how you made me feel... I don't know, Shego, I can't sum up all the things that have happened, all the things I've felt. I tried and... it was okay, I guess. The best I could do, anyway. I wanted you to know that, y'know, I'm happy it's you. I mean, at first... well, I wished it wasn't, y'know? I wished it had been Ron. Or if not Ron, then... well, _someone_ else besides you. And if it had to be a girl, for some reason, then why couldn't it have been Monique, or Tara, or even Bonnie – god help me – why'd it have to be _YOU_, y'know?"

Kim caught her breath and considered for a moment.

"And what I wanted you to know, now, here, is that I thank God it _was_ you. I mean... I've thought a lot about it. A _lot_ about it. About you. And I just... I honestly don't think I would've felt this way about anyone else. I'm still trying to figure out why. But I just... I can't imagine feeling this way about anyone else, is all. That's the only way I can think of to say it. I love you, and I always will. No matter what happens. I know it. Somehow... I wonder if I haven't always known it... but, y'know-"

Shego kissed her hard and Kim forgot if she was going to say anything else.

**--------------------------------------**

**Another Time, Another Place - Starving Lunatic**

Kim's hands slowly, but surely rose back into her proper stance. Shego softly gulped; she might have bitten off more than she could chew right about now. She had zero energy to spare. Whatever Kim attacked with would probably be her end. She was going to lose fair and square. To hell with that, she thought. It was definitely time to cheat.

The redhead came at Shego only to be stopped dead in her tracks as the thief lifted her tee-shirt off. Kim's mind was telling her that whatever the hell Shego was doing, it was a trap, but her eyes were not listening. Her olive eyes were locked on what had been revealed with the shedding of the forest green tee-shirt. Shego smirked as she stood there in only a black lace bra and she calmly closed the distance between herself and Kim. She took one of Kim's fists and opened the hand. She then placed that hand on her clothe-covered breast. She used her hand to make Kim caress her.

"Let's call this one a draw, Princess. I'll go make dinner now. Chicken just like I promised," Shego said in a low whisper, as if she was saying something seductive. Technically, she was talking Kim's language.

Kim could only nod in agreement as she stared down at her hand and what it was doing to Shego. She seemed hypnotized by what was going on, which actually told Shego just how much Kim enjoyed touching her. The villainess stepped away after a few seconds and retrieved her shirt. She slipped the shirt back on and started toward the kitchen.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Kim realized what just happened. She had been tricked right out of her victory, not that her hand or eyes were going to complain about the exchange.

"You're way too easy, Princess," Shego called from the hallway.

"Damn it!" Kim could not believe that she had fallen for that.

"I guess someone's horny as well as hungry," Shego remarked quietly, but Kim heard her. The redhead blushed, which Shego would have liked to see.

**-------------------------------------**

**Maternal Instinct - Blackbird**

"This," Kim stared placing a hand over Shego's, "is our child and I think you look even more beautiful than that stone with her."

They both seemed shocked at the slight admission but neither of them pulled back. In fact, Shego turned around so that she could look directly at Kim. As they thought, any words between them were lost as they simply stared into each other's eyes, noticing for the first time how they truly matched up. They were not the only things that matched up and now both women could tell that in attention to their fighting abilities and love of danger their feelings for each other matched as well. Kim brought her right hand up to Shego's cheek and at first she tensed up, the slap her mother gave her on that very cheek still fresh in her mind. She calmed down though and allowed Kim to gently rest her hand there. The differences between the two hands couldn't have been more obvious if there was a neon sign above them. Whereas her mother's action was a slap, Kim's action was a caress. Whereas her mother's hand was hard, Kim's hand was soft. Whereas her mother's hand had felt cold, Kim's felt warm. Most importantly, Kim's hand transferred something her mother had never really giving her, love.

"Sh-Shego," Kim whispered, trying to find something, anything to say.

Shego just silenced her with a finger on her lips then nodded her head in the direction of the stereo. Though she was almost completely into the moment they were sharing, the former thief had been able to catch where the latest song on the CD was and she knew it would be able to convey her feelings at lot better than she could at the moment.

You're the sweet crusader  
And you're on your way  
You're the last great innocent  
And that's why...I love you

The slight pause in the song gave them opportunity to focus on each other again as Kim's eyes looked hopefully at Shego. She simply nodded her confirmation and before either of them knew it their lips met in a soft, gentle kiss. The rest of the song, the room, and the whole world around them disappeared as they focused on the kiss. If their accidental one was good, this one was perfect. It conveyed their feelings that had been building up between them over the past few months in ways mere words never could. They gave every ounce of respect, friendship, caring and love they had into it and it seemed like it would go on forever.

----------------------------

And the winner is... **Alone Together - Failte200**

Failte jumps up onto the stage, smiling broadly.

"Squeeeeee! I'd like to thank all the lesbians out there (except the ones who hate me for having a penis), and all the other people (some of 'em aren't even lesbians) who helped me with various parts of the story (madman, rdfox, mouse - damn, no lesbians at all there...).

'Tis an honor."

Matt just nodded over at Jason. "Looks like your idea worked. There was no violence, and the especially brilliant Shego did not look overly displeased."

Maybe we'll just have to have them present it every year! Let's welcome our next performer, Daniel Beddingfield, with If You're Not the One!"

_If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?_

_If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?_

_If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call_

_If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all_

_I never know what the future brings _

_But I know you are here with me now_

_We'll make it through _

_And I hope you are the one I share my life with_

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand_

_If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?_

_Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?_

_If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?_

_If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?_

_If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?_

_If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?_

_I don't know why you're so far away _

_But I know that this much is true_

_We'll make it through _

_And I hope you are the one I share my life with_

_And I wish that you could be the one I die with_

_And I pray in you're the one I build my home with_

_I hope I love you all my life_

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand_

_If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am_

_Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?_

'_Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away_

_And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today_

'_Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right_

_And though I can't be with you tonight_

_And know my heart is by your side_

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand_

_If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am_

_Is there any way that I_


	12. Best KimRon Story

"Now here is the category for me, plenty of... of... umm... never mind."

Jason just chuckled. "Come on Matt, what were you going to say?"

"Nothing... just... let's welcome our two presenters for Best K/R Story, Mr. and Mrs. Doctor Possibles!"

MrDrP, accompanied by his lovely and brilliant wife MrsDrP, walked out on stage. Middleton's IQ power couple were the embodiment of elegance as they made their way to the podium.

"Well, it's really quite the pleasure to be presenting this next award, isn't it honey?" MrDrP asked.

"Yes, it is dear," MrsDrP said. "I'm just so happy Kim and Ron are finally together."

"I know what you mean. For a while there I thought she was going to wind up with a boy."

"Was that a shot?" Ron whispered to Kim.

"Shhh," the auburn-haired teen hero said to her tow-headed boyfriend as she placed her hand on his knee. "Clueless Dad, Ron? I say we run with it."

"I like the way you think, Kimila," Ron replied with a grin as he placed his hand on his BFGF's thigh, much to her evident approval. "Boo. Yah."

"Dear," MrsDrP said. "I don't know how to break the news to you, but Ron is a boy."

"What?" MrDrP replied. "What do you mean? Wait a minute …" MrDrP turned to see his daughter and her boyfriend were about to smack lips. In public! "Kimberly Ann!" the rocket scientist boomed, jarring, as intended Kim and Ron from their amorous imtentions.

"Booyah denied," Ron sulked.

"Sorry," Kim said to her BFBF.

"Dear, why don't you make the presentation."

"Fine," a grumpy MrDrP said as he kept a weather eye on his daughter and her boyfriend.

"The finalists in the Best K/R story are …"

------------------------------------------

**Kim Possible : One Oh One - Commander Argus**

Finally, as the meal was winding down, Ron reached for his wine glass. One had been set our for everyone, though the twins and Joss hadn't even considered touching theirs. The were as surprised as anyone when the dark liquid had been poured.

Ron pushed his chair back and stood up.

"Today is supposed to be the day when everyone gives thanks, so I think it's appropriate for me to celebrate the things I'm most thankful for. I'm thankful that I'm part of not one, but two great families. I'm thankful that there is so much love from both of them, but most of all, I'm thankful I have Kim in my life.

"A few months ago, I asked Kim a question, and I was blessed to have her say yes, but over time, I realized I did something wrong. Well, today, I'm going to make it right." He set his glass down and walked over to Kim's Dad.

"Mr. Dr. P. Doctor Possible. I would like to have your permission to have your daughter's hand in marriage."

James choked up slightly and stood. "I would be absolutely honored to have you as my child's husband and my son." He reached out and embraced the younger man.

Once he let go, he went back to Kim. She gasped suddenly, realizing that she had forgotten to give the ring back to him when they returned from Arizona. It was still on her finger.

He seemed not to care about that. He pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket and dropped to one knee. "I hope this time the sprinklers don't go off." He whispered to her as he opened the box.

Inside was another gold ring, only this one had a much larger diamond, wreathed in smaller stones. Flanking the main arrangement were two emeralds that matched the rest of her jewelry.

"Kimberly Anne Possible, will you marry me?"

Tears welled up in her eyes. "Yes, Ron, Yes!"

He pulled the ring out of the box and slipped the old one off, transferring it to the finger where she wore her older promise ring. Then he slipped the new ring on, to the sound of applause all the way around the table.

Ron stood back up and Kim followed him, wrapping both arms around him as she gave him a huge kiss.

**--------------------------------------**

**She Goes With Me - RavenStarfire**

_After the last **CRACK!** of thunder, the screams came from down the hall. Kim's head whirled on instinct. **"KAMIE!"** She put her dinner down and dashed into her daughter's room – where the girl was fine, except that she was extremely upset about something. Then the lightning flashed, and the girl screamed again. "Oh, Kamie-Pumpkin…Is the lightning scaring you?" The wide-eyed-with-fright little girl nodded furiously and threw her hands up, signaling she wanted to be picked up – which Kim did, using every trick she'd tried before to calm her down. "Shh. It's okay, Kamie. Lightning's not so scary...Lightning's not so scary..." _

_**CRACK!** Another lightning flash and thunder crack made the girl shriek and grab Kim in a semi-death grip._

"_Oh, Kamie, Kamie, Kamie…C'mere, girl…" Kim shh'd her and began to rock slowly back and forth._

_She had to do something to get the girl to calm down and fall asleep. But what? Then she remembered what had put Rufus to sleep when she'd 'babysat' him: A song. She could sing to calm Kamie down._

_But she had to make up some lyrics…She thought about it, laughed at how bad they were, then started:_

"_Rest your weary head, Little Kamie_

_Time for a story from Mommy Kimmie…"_

_The girl began to calm – as evidenced by her just jumping at the next flash of lightning and thunder._

"_Let yourself be calmed, Little Kamie_

_The lightning's not really that scary…"_

_She patted her daughter on her back calmly. She could feel Kamie's little heart beating against her – and smiled when she felt that little heartbeat slowing down. She continued to rock back and forth, and sing:_

"_Just close those tired eyes, Little Kamie_

_You know the lightning can't hurt you…"_

_The girl wasn't even flinching when the lightning and thunder struck this time. Kim held Kamie close. "I can't be in the same room as you all the time, Kamie - but if you ever need me… I will be there for you. That's a promise. If you need to call me, call me. If you need to beep me, beep me. If you need to reach me, reach me. I will come help you. Why? Because you're my daughter, and I love you so much."_

_The toddler was sound asleep now. Kim just sat back in her chair, looking at her child. She smiled. "Ron, when you and Wade finally bring me back to 2006 – oh, are you gonna be in for a big surprise…"_

_She kissed Kamie on the girl's forehead & slowly laid her back into her crib. "Sleep tight, my Princess."_

**----------------------------------------**

**The Ronless Factor - Scoutcraft Piratess/Zaratan**

"So, do you believe me now?"

"I don't know… it just…"

"Fine. Ron?" Bonnie turned back to where she last heard Ron, not realizing he had moved. "Let's go with the grand finale."

Kim looked up questioningly. "Grand finale?"

"Yeah, Ron figured he'd need a grand finale if you still didn't believe it at this point. I know he planned something…"

Bonnie's eyes went a bit wide, and Kim turned quickly to see. That was when she saw Pandaroo, floating about five feet in the air just a bit off the bed. Kim fell back a bit, completely startled.

Ron really had to focus, if he wanted to pull this off. He had been practicing, but Pandaroo, despite being a plush doll, was just a bit heavier than what he had been practicing with back at the tree house. But he knew that if anything could convince Kim, it was this.

He started by working with Pandaroo's arms, making the small plush toy basically dance. He remembered that it was something he used to do for Kim when she was sick years ago, when they were both younger. He called it the Cuddle dance, and it never failed to cheer Kim up when she was feeling bad. He shifted his grip slowly, moving his hands down to the legs, and started them dancing now.

He glanced up briefly to see Kim's reaction, and he could see the tears in her eyes, but she was also smiling. His concentration broke for a moment, and Pandaroo fell to the floor, but Ron focused again, quickly picking the small toy up. He resumed the little dance, and Kim's smile got bigger.

"Ron…"

Kim's voice was barely a whisper, but Ron heard her. He moved towards her, keeping the toy in front of him, until it was right in front of her. Tentatively, she reached up for the little guy. Her arms wrapped around the toy, holding him tight, and Ron looked over at Bonnie, could see the small tear that trailed down her cheek. Rufus was sitting on the dresser behind her, and Ron had completely forgotten that the little guy was there. He had a big smile on his face, as the little mole rat took in the scene.

Ron turned back to Kim, and lightly ran his hand on her cheek. Kim gasped as she felt the feather light caress. "Ron… it really is you."

---------------------------------------------

"And the winner is... **The Ronless Factor - Scoutcraft Piratess/Zaratan, **who better be prepared for a one-trip to a black hole if I find anything untoward happening with my Kimmie-cub in their story!"

"Dear, give it up," MrsDrP advised. "They're just a couple of good kids. If we can't trust Kim and Ron together, who can we trust?"

"I don't know …"

"You need to relax," MrsDrP said.

"I guess you've got a point," MrDrP conceded as he wandered off the stage, lost in thought as an idea began to crystallize.

Jason just eyed Doctor Possible as he moved past him to the podium, pausing when he met the man face to face. "Umm... just to assure you... NOTHING like that has happened in our story." When Dr. Possible nodded, Jason joined Scoutcraft Piratess at the podium. When he got there, he reached down, bowing slightly to her while he kissed her hand gently. Piratess just blushed, as he handed her the microphone first.

"Wow. This is really an honor. Even though I'm no longer writing the story (poor Zaratan is trapped with that) I'm really pleased that this idea took off the way it did. What basically started as something of a rehash of my Harry Potter fic "I'd Kill You if You Weren't Already Dead" really let me see an intense side of the K/R romance. Zaratan is doing an incredible job, and that this story means something to people really means a lot to me."

Jason took the microphone now, smiling broadly. "This story wouldn't be anywhere without the amazing story telling of this amazing woman. It was entirely her inspiration that inspired me to ask to carry on the story, and I am grateful that she had the faith in me to push forward with it. This story, to me, is about the true depth of Kim and Ron's love for each other. Ron defies death to keep watch over her, how powerful is that? Anyways, I just want to thank everyone who has been reading, and I promise to update as soon as I can."

This got a few laughs as Piratess and Jason hoist the statue over their heads together, smiling to the crowd. Jason gives her anouther kiss, this time on the cheek, and then he escorts her back to her seat.

Mat just groans, as the attention turns back to him. "Oh come on, I drool just a little bit, and I get read the riot act. He gets kisses, and everyone applauds? There is definitely a double standard here. Anyways, Jason wrote this for our next presenter... oh come on, he must have known the results when he wrote this... anyways, he wrote 'this is the song that I think best describes how The Ronless Factor, at least to me, describes the love and power of the relationship between Kim and Ron, as Ron fights through anything to be by her side, even death. Let's welcome The Calling with Wherever You Will Go!"

Matt walks off, mumbling to himself. "I want one little peek, but does he let me? NOOOO..."

_So lately, been wondering,  
Who will be there to take my place  
When I'm gone, you'll need love  
To light the shadows on your face  
If a great wave shall fall  
It would fall upon us all  
and between the sand and stone  
Could you make it on your own_

_If I could, then I would  
I'll go wherever you will go  
Way up high, or down low  
I'll go wherever you will go_

_And maybe, I'll find out  
The way to make it back someday  
To watch you, to guide you  
Through the darkest of your days  
If a great wave shall fall  
It would fall upon us all  
Well then I hope there's someone out there  
Who can bring me back to you_

_If I could, then I would  
I'll go wherever you will go  
Way up high, or down low  
I'll go wherever you will go_

_Runaway with my heart  
Runaway with my hope  
Runaway with my love_

_I know now, just quite how  
My life and love might still go on  
In your heart, in your mind  
I'll stay with you for all of time_

_If I could, then I would  
I'll go wherever you will go  
Way up high, or down low  
I'll go wherever you will go_

_If I could turn back time  
I'll go wherever you will go  
If I could make you mine  
I'll go wherever you will go  
I'll go wherever you will go_


	13. Best Drama or Unplanned Intermission?

Matt is smiling again after the award presentation, a stupid grin that does not seem to want to disappear.

Jason just gives him a strange look. "Dude... what is up with you?"

Matt giggled, an honest to goid giggle. "Tara just offered to teach me."

Jason looked at him curiously. "Teach you wha... umm... Matt, are you sure you want to do that? That might not be such a great..."

"Oh, I can handle it. But what about you? Half way through the show, and you've won an award without getting hurt once. Nothing can stop us now!"

"Perhaps I can put a damper on your little festivities."

Jason just groaned, probably the only one who didn't look up to follow the voice. "Oh man, you just had to say something, didn't you? And it just had to be him..."

"Vhat, you didn't expect me, Professor Dementor, to crash your little party after you snubbed me two years running? Did you really expect me to ignore this INSULT? Henchmen, grab them and tie them up with the other vun!"

Now Jason looks up, to see the dangling Triaxx hanging from the rafter, Dementor standing over him. "Hey guys, think you can give me a hand? Oh, and thanks for noticing I was missing by the way."

Jason just looked over at his partner as henchmen rushed out from the back, charging for the two hosts. "I blame you for this."

The pair were tackled, but that had been more than enough time for Kim and Ron to jump to their feet. "Give it up Dementor, you'll never get away with this."

"Oh, but I think that I HAVE!" You see, not only do I have most of the pathetic organizers of this little event, I also brought along a little something extra. Say hello... to my GIANT HONEY BEES!"

Ron's face screws up in concern. "Giant honey bees? Why would anyone make giant honey bees?"

Dementor just shrugs. "My giant plants were too big to be pollinated by normal sized bees, so I had to come up with something. Now, you shall face the fury of PROFESSOR DEMENTOR!"

A loud buzzing was heard, as a dozen giant bees floated down, hovering in the air over the stage. Everyone went wide-eyed at the sight, though that didn't stop Kim, despite the tremour of fear in her. She couldn't quite get the image of Roachie out of her mind. "Ron, any chance you can do something about these guys, you know, talk to them or something?"

"KP, I don't think they speak roach, and besides that... these guys are definitely NOT like a cute little puppy."

"Ron, you try to keep everyone safe and keep those bees distracted, while I put a stop to Dementor and his goons."

"Aww KP, while do I always get the tough jobs?"

"Cause I love you so much." She leaned in, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Man, you have to stop doing that. All right, I'll stop the bees. Be careful."

"You too Ron."

The bees chose that moment to dive, streaking out in all directions, leaving the crowd to panic in their wake. When the first grabs Zokolov in it's grasp, Ron springs into action, diving onto it's back and grabbing it by the wings. It's a move that proves... problematic.

"KPPPPP... I don't think... this was such... a great idea..."

Kim isn't in any position to help him though, as she finds herself confronted by a half dozen goons, the only ones not focused on her being the two holding Matt and Jason in their grasp. Kim just smiles, she likes the odds. "What's the matter Dementor? Upset just because you didn't get an invite, or is it the fact that almost not a single story here tonight had you in it?"

"Ohhh... you and your lip. Get her. GET HER!"

The goons move to charge at Kim, but she just smiles. "Bring it."

----------------------------------------------------

Ron has finally managed to gain some control on the bee, enough that he forces it to drop it's uinwilling cargo safely on the floor. The other bees are diving now at the other guests, but most have managed to dive for cover under the tables. Ron pulls hard on the left wing, forcing it to turn. He focuses on the closest one, and sends his ride straight into it. The collision knocks him off the creature's back, but the two bees also plummet to the ground, stunned. Ron picks himself up, brushing off some dirt from his tux. "Well, that was just bee-dical."

Ron's poor humour is met by a chorus of groans from those closest to him.

Of course, that just happens to be the moment Beeftony and Monique enter the room. "Sorry we're late folks, we had a little problem... umm... did we miss something?"

Monique's eyes go wide. "Yeah, duck!" Monique dives for cover under the nearest table.

"Duck? I don't see any ducks... a lot of giant bees, but no... oh oh..."

One of the bees, seeing the easy target, scoops him up quickly, flying up into the air with it's prey. Anouther pulled a table aside, and scooped up FAH3.

Ron just groans. "Oh man, not again."

----------------------------------------------------

Kim had dispatched the last of the goons, turning to smile over at Dementor. "Game's over Professor. Call off your little freak show, and maybe I won't have to do the same thing to you I did to your goons."

"Ah ah... I don't think so Kim Possible. Not vhen I have... MY DECIMATOR RAY!"

Kim rolls her eyes, until she sees the diminutive villain pull a hand held balster ray out from behind his back. "You really came loaded for bear for this, didn't you?"

Dementor just smiles. "It pays to be prepared. Varewell Kim Possible, ve vill NOT meet again. BWAHAHAHA!"

-----------------------------------------------------

Shego finally has enough, rising from beneath her table. Captain Kodak tries to pull her back, but she just shrugs him off. "That's it, I have had enough of this. I better get some time off my sentance for this though. FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

-------------------------------------------------------

Blasts rock the bees, sending them crumpling to the floor, including the new bee that Ron had been riding. Ron tumbled to the floor in time to see Shego firing on all the bees, before turning her attention to the stage, and firing a single blast that severs the line holding Triaxx bound. Ron winces as the author plummets to the stage, knowing just where he was going to hit.

-------------------------------------------------------

Dementor raises the blaster, keeping Kim in his sights. "Farewell Kim Possible, it has been a BLAST!"

But as Dementor begins to pull the trigger, Triaxx hits him from above, slamming the small villain into the stage with a loud groan. Triaxx just raises his head, his gaze unfocused. "Umm... thank you..." With that final statement, Triaxx passes out.

Seeing their boss and the bees laid out, the two goons holding Jason and Matt share a look, before letting them go and bolting for the exit, but are promptly grabbed by Global Justice, who finally decide to put in an appearance..

Kim grins sheepishly over at Shego, who sits smugly in her seat as other members of the audiance get back to their feet. "Uhh... thanks for the assist?"

"Don't get sappy on me now Princess, I'm sending a bill to Global Justice and the organizers here for services rendered. I figure something in the six figure range wouldn't be out of line for saving everyone here."

Jason's eyes go wide at that. "WHAT? SIX FIGURES? I DON'T... I MEAN..."

Shego just grins at him. "Keep it up, and I start adding charges for cruelty for bringing my mother here. THAT would get pricey."

Jason backs off quickly, raising his hands in supplication. "No problems here, that sounds fine to me."

Matt looks out over the devastated ballroom, wincing. "Well folks, looks like we're going to have a short intermission while we get everything straightened up. Stay tuned for more from The 2nd Annual Fannie Awards!"


	14. Best Drama Story

Jason and Matt just watched as the last of the giant bees were dragged outside the room. The staff had been working overtime already at this point, straightening everything up so that the show could go on. A few guests had to be treated for injuries, but thankfully they were all minor. Global Justice, already strained, was strained even further when their tranportation was needed to cart away the caracasses, as well as Dementor's goons. They were so stretched that they were forced to leave Dementor bound in a chair to deal with him.

Jason just winced as one of the light fixtures fell to the floor, and the staff hustled to clean it up quickly. "Matt, I'm still blaming you for this."

"Me? But I didn't do anything."

"You said it."

"Oh come on, that doesn't mean anything. Besides, it can't get any worse, can it?"

Jason just starts sobbing quietly. "You did it again... oh man..."

Matt just pats his partner on the back, looking uncomfortable. "Umm... while Jason pulls himself together, let's welcome our next presenters, Drakken and Drakkenfan!"

Drakken just looks uncomfortable as the younger woman clings clings to his arm, smiling up at him adoringly. He tries to shake her free once they get to the podium. "Hrmmm... you can let me go now."

Drakkenfan just smiles up at him. "Nope, I'm not letting you go whatsoever."

"But we have to present the award for Best Drama!"

"Doesn't mean I can't hold you close Drakkie-poo."

Drakken just pales, looking panicked. "SHEGO?"

Shego just laughs at his discomfort. "Sucks to be you, doesn't it."

Drakkenfan just chuckled. "Oh come on, it will be fun. Hey, don't you think Kim looks beautiful today? You two would make a cute couple."

Kim, who had been taking a drink, started coughing and choking, with Ron tried to pat her back. When that didn't work, Ron helped her out and over to the bathroom.

Drakken just sputtered, while Shego was laughing outrageously. Mortified, Drakken grabbed the microphone quickly, almost desperately. "And the nominees for Best Drama Story are..."

------------------------------------------

**Honor Bound - Starving Lunatic**

They walked through the castle and then were suddenly attacked by another group of female dolls.

"Okay, now this is getting a little too repetitive," Ron commented, sounding slightly aggravated, as he pulled his sword to block the blade of one of the dolls. He typically did not use his sword, the Lotus Blade, as a katana when fighting because his battle technique was actually better suited for using a staff. The good thing about the Lotus Blade was that it could be whatever he wanted, though.

"It is," Kim concurred and then Ron got kicked by one of the metallic puppets.

"Ouch, and painful," the blonde added because of the pain that coursed through him when the doll hit him. Not only was striking the machines like hitting a gong, but being hit by one was like being slapped with a gong. And then he noticed that more toys were coming to join the party. "Could this get any worse?" he wondered out loud.

One would think that Ron knew by now to never ask such a question considering the life that he led. Moments after he wondered how things could get any worse, his question was answered. A couple of the dolls were trying to hit Yori, but could not touch her with their hands or swords, so they went another way with things. The two toys' left hands flipped up, revealing hollowed out arms with small flames inside. Suddenly a powder shot through the limbs and were ignited by the small flames.

Yori actually yelped because of her surprise and she jumped out of the way, just missing having a fire ball shot in her face. Ron groaned when he noticed the fire. Well, he decided to scratch something else off of the list of things that he had never seen. Who would have thought of fire-shooting, sword-wielding dolls?

"This is probably going to get worse before it gets better," Kim commented.

-------------------------------------

**The Darkness Within - GWA (G-Go, MrDrP, CaptainKodak1, Mattb3671, WesUAH, Commander Argus, Zaratan)**

Wade's arms flailed about. Monkey ninjas began slamming into the nearby walls.

In the meantime, Monkey Fist was taking a severe beating.

At last, Ron and Wade were about to take home a victory, and a solid one at that.

But at some point during his tussle with Monkey Fist, Ron felt a strong had grip his shoulder tightly and haul him to his feet. Before he could react. A fist drove itself into his face, and sent him sprawling backward.

The fire went out of Ron's eyes. He looked up at the person who had just hit him. It was Agent Gray.

But something was amiss. Gray seemed taller than last time; more lithe, and agile. He began to wonder if maybe there weren't an army of Grays.

Ron struggled to get to his feet, but Gray was on top of him before he could recover. Ron felt himself picked up once again, but this time he was forcibly swung through the air and released. Ron sailed a short distance and then slammed into Wade. Both went tumbling; Ron was knocked unconscious. Rufus tumbled out of his pocket.

"Finish them!" barked the German voice.

Ron wasn't moving. Wade attempted to get to his feet, but suddenly felt dizzy as Gray sprang on top of him and slammed his head to the floor. Groggily, Wade tried to move but was too disoriented.

Then to his horror, Wade saw that he and Ron were lying precariously close to a ledge.

Then to his further horror, Wade realized he had just been pushed over that ledge and was now freefalling down an impossibly wide and deep shaft. Wade was just about to activate the thrusters when he looked above him and saw Ron's unconscious form freefalling just a few feet away. Sickeningly, Ron smacked against the walls of the shaft once or twice as they fell.

If Wade kept himself from falling any further, Ron would surely plummet to his death.

**---------------------------------------**

**The Passing of a Hero - The Humbug**

Rufus lay nestled in the bottom of the cage, huddled in a shallow burrow of cedar chips and an old washcloth. He wasn't shivering right now, which was good because it was so difficult to keep him warm these days, and the morning sun might be the best thing for his body and his spirits. His pink skin was very pale and dry, like parchment, and his eyes were closed tight. Thin breaths came in wispy gasps that Ron had become accustomed to listening for constantly these last few days.

He was always listening for the next one in anticipation.

Rufus wasn't simply old; he was the Methuselah of naked mole rats. He had been a tiny pink wad of meat when he had accompanied Ron and KP on their first mission. In time his intelligence grew to a level that was evenly matched by his self-awareness. More than an animal but only a little less than fully human, Rufus had come to represent something entirely new in the animal kingdom. There were no others like him anywhere, not in his own species or in any other. As the media began to follow the exploits of his best friend, Ron also gained a modicum of notoriety. While hardly as well known as Kim Possible, everyone could at least point to him and say, "Hey, it's that blond kid with the hairless rat!"

In time, folks would come up to him and ask him about his naked friend, mostly to poke fun and make jokes, but at least it kept him out of Kimâ€™s shadow. As Ron and KP came to meet more and more scientists in their adventures, eventually some of them started to ask a simple question; they wanted to know if, after all these years, was it the same naked mole rat that was in his pocket each and every time? When Ron started telling people that, yes, it was the very same naked mole rat, there were tests and studies and experiments performed.

The little creature was declared to be a miracle of nature.

All good things come to an end.

"Hey, buddy, rise and shine!"

The sun warmed his tired bones and made it easier to roll over, his master's voice coming from somewhere over his head.

"I've got a surprise for you. Look!"

Rufus felt something being set down on the washcloth beside him; it was warm and the familiar smell that always used to rouse him and that he would have walked a mile for. Now his tiny legs were pained from the aches in his hip joints and spine, and his neck was almost frozen solid from arthritis. The rodent looked up and did his best to reply.

"…"

"What's that buddy? What did Ron bring you?"

"cheez!"

**--------------------------------------**

**The Ronless Factor - Scoutcraft Piratess/Zaratan**

Sleep sounded wonderfully good. "It's so insane," she mused. "I save the world and everything and go against all kinds of danger, and it winds up being a little car crash that lands me in the hospital. Ironic." But it wasn't a little car crash. She could still see the Tahoe, speeding toward Monique's rearview mirror. The lights. "How are the others?"

The room fell silently into just the sound of the tweebs' breathing, soft and steady, like the dim light of the room.

She once again tried to sit up, but the pain pushed her back down. "What? They're fine, aren't they?" Of course they were fine. She was. What else would they be, of all the possibilities of what could have happened. Worse shape than she was, amnesia, death, paralysis. None of them could have happened. Well, maybe a few more bruises to beat hers, but otherwise….

"Monique is doing fine," her father said. "She still hadn't woken up last time I checked, but she's not badly hurt. Her family is with her."

Kim closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Monique was okay. Good. "What about Ron?"

She couldn't help but notice the looks her parents exchanged. "What is it?" Again with the possibilities. Prepare for them, she told herself. Prepare for them.

Her mom sniffed and quickly wiped her eyes before taking Kim's hand. No comfort there to fight back whatever was about to be told. Kim felt like she was going to be sick. "Kimmy, the other car… it…"

"It came up on the right side of Monique's," her father continued. "That's where it hit."

Kim had noticed that much.

"It collided into the back part of the car, where I believe Ronald was sitting."

The other car, speeding ridiculously toward them. The sound of the crash. All of it behind her. She squeezed her mom's fingers, half-wondering if it would hurt. This didn't seem real. Her head hurt and everything else hurt. "Dad?"

Her father took a deep breath, holding it in momentarily while Kim was just forced to sit and wait for something of which she didn't even know. "Kimmy-cub, he's dead."

-----------------------------------------

"And the winner is... **The Darkness Within - GWA (G-Go, MrDrP, CaptainKodak1, Mattb3671, WesUAH, Commander Argus, Zaratan)**

Captain Kodak, Commander Argus, G-Go, Mattb3671, MrDrP, WesUAH, and Zaratan made their way to the front of the banquet hall. They were met at the podium, not just by the presenters, but by Steel Toe and Pain King.

"Uh, what are you guys doing here?" Steel Toe asked.

"Actually, we were wondering the same thing about you," Commander Argus replied.

"Well, we heard that the GWA was winning an award, so Jackie sent us over."

"Sorry to break the news, but he got the wrong GWA," WesUAH said.

"What do you mean?" Pain King asked.

"The Best Drama Fannie was won by the Global Writers Association, not the Global Wrestlers Association."

Steel Toe frowned. "You mean I left my kids' school vacation for nothing?"

"Looks like it," G-Go said.

"Somebody's going to pay," Pain King snapped.

"Hey, peace out, Dude," Mattb said.

"Don't tell me to 'peace out', Smuff Boy. I had to give up my opera tickets to be here tonight!"

"Look, why don't we all just calm down," the Captain suggested.

"Uh oh," MrDrP said, turning from his colleagues and the two outsized wrestlers to the doors that had just flown open at the rear of the room. "I think I'd like to go to the opera."

Standing in the doorway were none other than Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable.

Unfortunately for the GWA writers (and possibly wrestlers, too), teen hero Kim Possible was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Kim Possible-gone-bad had arrived, wearing her trademark shorts, sleeveless mission crop top, combat boots, and stolen tiara. Riding high on her hip was a ray gun. By her side was her BF and partner-in-mayhem, Ron Stoppable, who was wearing a sleeveless black shirt, bandana, combat boots, a holster with ray gun, and a very menacing expression.

"Yoha, brojas," he said icily.

"You guys are so busted," Kim snarled.

"Uh, hi, Kim, Ron," the authors said weakly.

"We don't know them," Steel Toe said as he began edging off the stage.

"Yep, never heard of them before tonight," Pain King added. "We're wrestlers."

"That's a matter of opinion," Kim shot back with a dismissive snort.

"Hey!" Pain King objected.

"Shut up," Steel Toe said as he grabbed his colleague by the arm and quickly exited the stage.

"So, you thought it would be fun to split up Kim and me?" Ron said as he advanced on the podium.

"You made me break my BFBF's heart why?" Kim asked acidly.

"Uh, dramatic tension?" G-Go bravely suggested.

"Dramatic tension this," Ron said as he pulled out his ray gun and stunned G-Go.

"I was so not down with that anchor thingie," Ron said. "Who had that bright idea?"

Captain Kodak gulped when he saw his co-authors pointing at him.

"Eep," was all he managed before Ron winged him.

"Who's next?" Kim asked.

"Him!" the remaining authors said in unison as they pointed at Will Du, who was finally returning after taking the blow to the head.

"Works for me, KP," Ron offered.

"Spankin'," the former hero said before she shot Global Justice's Number One Agent.

After Will went down, Kim locked eyes with Bonnie and grinned ferally.

"You don't scare me," Bonnie said defiantly. "You're just a couple of losers," she snapped before she was hit by a beam.

"Goodnight, Bon-Bon," Kim said sweetly. "Your turn, Ronnie."

Ron scanned the room before his gaze settled on Steve Barkin. "Hiya, Mr. B," he said as he trained his ray gun on his one-time high school teacher.

Chaos erupted. Guests began screaming as Kim and Ron, who were clearly suffering the residual effects of Cyrus Bortel's mind control experiments, started dropping people left and right. The GWA authors decided to take advantage of the pandemonium. They grabbing their Golden Rufie along with their two stunned co-authors and hastily retreated from the stage.

Jason and Matt remained ducked down behind the podium, until they were sure that Kim and Ron were done with their rampage. Finally, the two teens settled down, and with a final wave to the crowd, left the room.

About two seconds later, from the other side of the room, Kim and Ron, the originals, walked back in through the doors. "Don't worry about it KP, some of these authors..." Ron and Kim froze as they saw the numerous people stunned and lying on the floor. "Uhh... did we miss something?"

Every eye in the place turned to look at them. Even Shego, who was now trying to revive her date.

Jason and Matt stood up, and Jason looked over at his partner anxiously. "Umm... could you handle things, I have to go check on Bonnie."

"Sure man." When Jason left the stage, Matt looked out over the crowd. "Okay... I'll be shutting up now. Let's welcome our next performer, Chumbawamba

with I Get Knocked Down!"

_We'll be singin'  
When we're winnin'  
We'll be singin' _

I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down

I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down

Pissin' the night away  
Pissin' the night away

He drinks a whisky drink, he drinks a vodka drink  
He drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink  
He sings the songs that remind him of the good times  
He sings the songs that remind him of the better times

Oh, Danny boy  
Danny boy  
Danny boy

I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down

I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down

Pissin' the night away  
Pissin' the night away

He drinks a whisky drink, he drinks a vodka drink  
He drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink  
He sings the songs that remind him of the good times  
He sings the songs that remind him of the better times

Don't cry for me  
Next door neighbor

I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down

I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down  
I get knocked down, but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down

I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (when we're winnin')  
I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (ooh, ooh, ooh)

I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (when we're winnin')  
I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (ooh, ooh, ooh)

I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (when we're winnin')  
I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (ooh, ooh, ooh)

I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (when we're winnin')  
I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (ooh, ooh, ooh)

I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (when we're winnin')  
I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (ooh, ooh, ooh)

I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (when we're winnin')  
I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (ooh, ooh, ooh)

I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (when we're winnin')  
I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (ooh, ooh, ooh)

I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (when we're winnin')  
I get knocked down (we'll be singin'), but I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down (ooh, ooh, ooh)


	15. Best Action Adventure Story

Jason finally turned to the stage, glaring angrily at his partner. Matt just raised his hands defensively. "I'm gonna be quiet now, not a peep out of me."

Jason gave him one last look, before turning to the crowd. "All right, let's just get back into the swing of things..."

Matt just started giggling. "Oh my god, is that a pun? Did you just try to tell a joke?"

Jason just groaned, lowering his head. "Now what are you talking about?"

"Dude, you seriously know that Duff Killigan is one of the next presenters, don't you? Swing of things... Duff..."

"ARGGG! Let's welcome Duff Killigan and Stave Barkin to present the next award already!"

Duff and Barkin approach the stage quickly, nodding to the crowd. When they reach the stage, the two of them shake hands almost cordially.

Steve eyes Duff for a second before nodding. "McDougal clan I see."

Duff's eyes widen in shock. "Aye! How'd ya know?"

"I served with a McDougal in Iolai. He was quite proud to where his tartan during ceremonies."

Duff just looks out over the crowd smugly. "Ya see, it is not a skirt, it be a kilt. Now can ya pansies get it through yer skulls and stop wit' the insults in all a yer stories and get it right?"

Steve just nods in agreement. "I quite agree. Some people just seem to have no taste."

Duff is especially placated now, smiling broadly. "Aye, now the nominees fer Best Action Adventure Story are..."

------------------------------------------------

**Eurotrip - GWA**

Ron continued his fast pace, the loud clumping of feet close behind him. As he ran, Ron finally settled his eyes upon a discarded energy rifle. Desperately, Ron reached down to pick up the rifle, taking it firmly in his grasp as he turned around and leveled it at the hoard of hired muscle behind him.

"Nobody move. I got an itchy trigger finger and I'm not afraid to use it."

For a moment, the pack of thugs stopped in their tracks, coming to an abrupt halt a precious few feet away from where Ron stood. Suddenly, the leader of the pack got the idea to test his luck by taking a step forward.

"I'm warning you." As he spoke, Ron aimed the rifle for a spot just in front of the henchman's foot.

A dead click was Ron's only reward as he pulled the trigger. Ron tried again, and again, each time the rifle produced nothing more than a lifeless click, eliciting a collective low laugh from the thugs.

Rufus uttered instructions to Ron in rodent even as the naked mole rat rushed down Ron's arms to the weapon, taking the energy clip out, flipping it over and reinserting it, prompting a low hum from the weapon as it powered on.

"Who puts the battery in backwards on a laser rifle?" Even as Ron spoke, he aimed his weapon upwards, firing a full powered shot at the ceiling over head, causing rocks and rubble to come collapsing down, sealing the henchmen behind it.

"Oh booyah!" Ron exclaimed proudly as he again reached his finger for Rufus' paw. As they shared in mutual congratulations, Ron felt a hand reach into his pack and take something out.

"I'll take that." Dr. Drakken announced rather satisfied as he walked off with the oblivioum container.

"Oh no you don't dude." Ron called back as he tackled Drakken to the floor, wrestling around on the ground as Ron struggled to get his hands on the container.

"It's mine. I stole it." Drakken argued as he rolled around fiercely.

"If you stole it, then it can't be yours." Ron argued back.

"It can if I'm a villain." Drakken retorted.

"No, if you're a villain, then its still stealing, it's just expected of you." Ron bit back. "And I'm a hero, so I'm expected to get it back."

"Well not this time." As they argued, the two stood back up, still tugging back and forth on the container.

"Hey, take your hands off my butt!" Ron shouted indignantly.

"What? I'm not touching you, see!" Drakken insisted as he held up his hands for inspection. As he did, Ron shot a fist right at Drakken's face, knocking the blue villain out cold.

"Sorry. My mistake." Ron replied coolly. As he triumphantly stood over Drakken's unconscious form, a slight growl came from his side. Ron turned to the side to see a disapproving Rufus.

"Ok, so that was a low blow. I admit." Ron replied apologetically to Rufus' burning scowl.

**--------------------------------------------**

**Maternal Instinct - Blackbird**

Kim's eye opened for real at that last statement. She wasn't sure if that was a hallucination brought on by her injuries and fatigue or if it was her own subconscious using Shego's image to push her to fight more, but she knew it was right. She wasn't a quitter. She never had been before and she didn't intend to start now. With a new found strength rushing through her, she forced herself up into a kneeling position right as The Queen moved over her.

"Do you remember that talk we had about the failsafe?" the metallic woman asked. "Well...I think I just cracked it. So now I can finally put you out of my misery. It's over."

Kim breathed heavily through her cracked ribs as she stared up at her and slowly wove her fingers together.

"NEVER!" she screamed, bolting upwards and delivering a blow to The Queen's chin so powerful that it sent her flying into the air a good five feet.

She landed with a loud crash against the floor, pieces of both it and her shattering as she did so. Her body bounce once before it came to a complete stop and her optics powered down. Kim took a half step back before collapsing into a heap once again, supporting herself with her right arm and left knee. She let out a few pained coughs as her breathing and the action caught up with her, but still felt a great deal of satisfaction at that hit. More so than the last one.

And just like the last time, her victory was short lived when she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye and watched as The Queen sprang into a sitting position.

"Oh come on!" groaned as she tried to stand once more.

She received assistance when The Queen used her super speed to appear before her, grab her by the throat and slowly lift her into the air. The redhead let out a few raspy gurgles as the hand clamped tight around her windpipe. She tried desperately to swing her feet up to kick The Queen's face again, but they refused to work. Instead all she could do was watch helplessly as The Queen brought up her left hand and called on her sonic weapon.

"I believe the frequency I have this set to will liquify your brain within your skull and cause it to pour out your nose and ears," she said threateningly. "I shall take immense pleasure in watching that."

Kim let out a choked scream as the sound waves bombarded her brain and did in fact cause her great pain. It felt as if her brain were thrown into a blender set to "whip". In fact she was positive she could feel a few of her brain cells popping. It was certainly a slow and agonizing pain that she was certain The Queen would make last as long as she could.

Which is why it came as a great surprise to her when it stopped after only a minute. Through her tear filled eyes she could see the robotic leader staring almost blankly at her with a surprised expression on her face. She then dropped Kim as if her arm had stopped working and slowly forced herself to turn around. When she did, Kim could see exactly why she looked so out of it: there was a large, smoking hold in the back of her head. It wasn't just any smoke, however, it had a distinctive green coloring to it that Kim knew anywhere. She peaked over her shoulder to where The Queen was now staring and saw Shego standing by the door with her left hand outstretched while her right held some kind of white bundle close to her chest.

"It's a girl. Incase you're wondering," Shego informed the now broken robot, nodding to the bundle in her hand.

**-------------------------------------**

**The Beast Within - Staving Lunatic**

Betty watched the pair engage each other a second time. She always noticed how in control Kim was of everything and she seemed well aware of that fact. She knew that the redhead was not aware that she had a swagger to her that most people probably missed. Kim's body language often said to her opponents "I could crush you, but I don't feel like it right now." It was saying just that to Will; the thing was that Will could pick up on the message thanks to his eyes. Her other opponents at least did not have to be aware that her body mocked them as they went at her, but Will knew.

Will could see that Kim practically laughed at him in her head, which made him angry. He went at her with more power, hoping to take her head off if he ever landed a blow. She dodged, dodged, dodged, and then countered out of nowhere. She hit Will with a kick while turning a back flip. He fell back and she had drawn first blood, as usual.

Kim landed in her fighting stance, knowing that Will would charge her again. For someone with such talented eyes, she did not think that he used them wisely. She had no idea that his eyes were useless against her. All they kept telling him was that he would lose, that he could not defeat her, and that she was superior to him. He refused to accept that.

-----------------------------------------

"And the winner is... **Maternal Instinct - Blackbird**

A joyous scream went out over the room as Blackbird jumped up from his seat and ran towards the stage; jumping, hollering, high fiving and just generally acting like a jackass. When he finally reached the podium he snatched the Golden Ruffie from Duff's hands and holds it above his head as he shouted again.

"YEEEEAAHHHH!! I won! I won! Take that! 'How you like me now Somalia?! Friggin' losers'!" he screamed before finally calming down. "'First off, I hate you all. I thank no one but myself. And as of this moment I am through with baseball'! Hehhe, just kidding. Had to get that line out. Seriously though, I want to thank all you guys for this. You really made it all possible.

"Uh...really don't have much more to add, other than I'm glad you all liked my fight scenes. They can be the hardest things to write and really do take a lot out of you. Sometimes I feel like I've _been_ through one of those fights just trying to get it all out. But they're a necessary evil as they make stories more exciting and help build up dramatic tension. And since I don't think I'm all that good at romantic scenes, expect to see plenty more action scenes in the fics to come. Maybe I'll be standing up here next year to accept one again. Wait, there's not allowed? Damnation!"

"Definitely need to thank NoDrogs for letting me take his idea and spin it around and then turn it into something totally different. And again thank you guys for loving that idea as much as you did. To be honest I'm still surprised by it all and just waiting for that day when you guys finally figure out I have no idea what the -beep- I'm doing. Til then I'm going to enjoy this," he held up the Golden Ruffie, "and each and every review I get on all my stuff. Thanks again. You guys rock!"

With that, he turned back to Jen and nodded and the two of them walked back stage as the music played them off.

Jason just sighs in relief when Blackbird leaves the stage. "Okay... maybe now things can get back in order. Matt, what... Matt?"

Matt peeked out from behind the curtain. "No problems?"

Jason took a deep breath, eyeing his partner. "What are you doing?"

"Well... I didn't want to take a chance in case thinking it also caused a problem."

Jason had to take anouther deep breath, before smiling to the crowd. "Folks, while I go deal with something, let's welcome Pat Benatar with Invincible!"

_This bloody road remains a mystery  
This sudden darkness fills the air  
What are we waiting for?  
Won't anybody help us?  
What are we waiting for?  
_

_We can't afford to be innocent  
Stand up and face the enemy  
It's a do or die situation  
We will be invincible  
_

_This shattered dream you cannot justify  
Were gonna scream until we're satisfied  
What are we running for?  
We've got the right to be angry  
What are we running for?  
When there's no where we can run to anymore  
_

_We can't afford to be innocent  
Stand up and face the enemy  
It's a do or die situation  
We will be invincible  
And with the power of conviction  
There is no sacrifice  
It's a do or die situation  
We will be invincible  
_

_Won't anybody help us?  
What are we running for?  
When there's nowhere, nowhere we can run to anymore  
_

_We can't afford to be innocent  
Stand up and face the enemy  
It's a do or die situation  
We will be invincible  
And with the power of conviction  
There is no sacrifice  
It's a do or die situation  
We will be invincible_

_We can't afford to be innocent  
Stand up and face the enemy  
It's a do or die situation  
We will be invincible  
_

_We can't afford to be innocent  
Stand up and face the enemy  
It's a do or die situation  
We will be invincible  
_


	16. Best Romance Story

"You know Matt, I'm just starting to get a bit tired of all this violence. The show started off so well too."

"Oh come on," Matt was patting his partner on the back, trying to console him. "You're doing a wonderful job man, these things can't be helped."

Jason just runs a hand through his hair, breathing deeply. "Well, let's not hold this show up any more. Let's welcome our next presenters to present the award for the Best Romance, Josh Mankey and one of the new writers's to FanFiction dot net, StarEva01.

From separate sides of the stage, Josh and Star walk to the podium.

"Good evening everyone", said Josh.

"Josh and I are here to present the award to the best Romance story this pass year on for KP Stories" said Star.

"First I ask you, what is romance" asked Josh.

"For most folks, romance is an expression of love between two people. Expressing that love in a way that would show everyone that they are in love", said Star.

"And in the universe of Kim Possible FanFiction, that can take in a lot of folks. Be it a story that is more cannon with pairing characters like Bonnie and Brick, or Tara and myself and let's not forget Felix and Monique, Wade and Joss, or Kim and Ron" said Josh.

Hearing their names called, Felix and Monique looked at each other and shared a smile. Wade and Josh, over with cpneb, shared a quick hand hug under the table. Kim and Ron just looked into each others eyes.

"Also there are stories that happen between a more un-cannon pair like Tara and Monique, Joss and Tara, and let us not forget the most popular of those Kim and Shego" said Star.

Hearing that, Shego muttered under her breath something that sounded like "damn, not again", has she drowned her drink in one shot and yelled for another. Kim and Ron just kept looking into each other's eyes, but added a smile.

Returning to his set from a "small trip" Duff Killigan, yelled out "And not one story about me havin' romance" in his Scottish accent.

Not thinking about the mic picking up anything spoken even in a whisper, Star muttered under his breath, "Maybe if you were not a total bore someone might give it a try."

With his face turning a bright red, Duff pulled a golf ball from a pocket, and taking a swing with one of his ever present clubs hit a straight line shot right into Star's chest knocking him down.

Turning to his wife, Dr. Possible said "He really is a newbie. Should have read the transcript from last year and he would have known not the make a remark like that."

Ms. Dr. Possible just nods her head in agreement.

"You guys are just so odd", Josh said. "Anyway, this year the top three stories up for best Romance are two from the KiGo side."

Hearing this, the KiGo crowd cheers loudly and everyone has to give them the "Eye" before they quite down.

And after getting back to his feet, Star adds "And one with Tara has the lead." Which makes the blond blush a bright red.

"And without any further delay, here are the Nominates for Best Romance", Josh says with a grin….

------------------------------------------------

**Another Time, Another Place - Starving Lunatic**

"Good afternoon. Miss Sheshona Go," the redhead greeted her patient, who did not respond and she made sure not to move. "I'm Kimberly Possible and I will be your doctor," the redhead announced.

Sheshona went rigid for a quick moment that the crimson-haired doctor failed to notice. So, the little cutie was her doctor, not her nurse? It actually amazed the pale woman because she had never met a female doctor; she had been unaware that such a creature could even exist. No matter, she told herself. The fact that the woman was a doctor only made the prospect of conquering her all the more desirable, especially since the woman was her doctor specifically. She would gain control over her own doctor; it was such a challenge and she just could not turn such a challenge down.

"Are you awake, Miss Go?" Doctor Possible inquired since her patient was completely silent and had not moved as far as she could see.

"Well, doc, I don't know if I should tell you this," Sheshona replied while glancing up just a little bit for the redhead to see the glint in her emerald eyes. It was another one of her weapons in catching women; the look in her eyes often grabbed their curiosity and they often wanted to know why she would look at them in such a manner. She doubted that the doctor would be any different from other women that she had caught.

"I'm your doctor. You should feel free to tell me everything," the redhead answered in a calm, small voice. She even sounded friendly.

"You have beautiful eyes," Sheshona practically purred. At least she was not lying.

The doctor went stiff from surprise and she appeared shocked by the statement. A low blush began to work its way onto her peach cheeks, staining them a rose color. Sheshona continued to smirk; she just loved it when ladies blushed, especially when she had caused the blush. She got the feeling that she was actually going to enjoy her time at the asylum.

**----------------------------------------------**

**Mating Games - Campy**

Kevin pulled up in front of Tara's home. She reached for the door handle and turned to thank him for the ride, but he had already shut off the engine and was out of the car, heading around to her side. He opened the door for her and she stepped out into the light drizzle.

"My, what a gentleman," she said with a smile. "I had such a time getting my ex to do that even on dates …"

_Ex? Does she mean the guy before Morgan, or …?_

"So, I had a lot of fun today," she said as they walked to her front door. "I'm glad you suggested it. It was nice to see the face behind the screen name."

"Same here," he said. "Maybe we'll meet online again?"

"Actually, I think I like it like today better," she said. "And the movie was fun, too. Plus, y'know, blondes, computers, not really a great combination."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Hey, don't you remember what I told you before?"

She lowered her chin and looked up at him. "I remember," she said softly, "but maybe I should keep you nearby, you know, in case I need to hear it again?" _I'd welcome any other compliments you have for me, too._

He shuffled his feet awkwardly and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I'd be happy to tell you how smart you are as often as you want." _And how beautiful, and how good you smell, and how great your arms felt around me …_

Lightning flashes illuminated the distant mountains, thunder rumbled ominously, and the drizzle turned into a steady rain.

"I need to head back before it gets worse," he said.

"Goodnight, Kevin," she said.

"'Night, Tara."

He went back to the car; she went into the house. As he drove away, she watched the receding taillights as best she could through the glass door sidelight, her vision obscured by raindrops and tears.

----------------------------------------

**Scenes of Love - The Humbug**

With the faint scratch of the needle the record began to play and Kim made the world move beneath their feet. Her cheek nestled in the hollow of Shego's throat and the length of her body once again rested against that of the pale warrior.

_I see trees of green, red roses too _

_I see them bloom for me and you _

_And I think to myself _

_What a wonderful world _

There were no fights or battles; there was no doubt or angst, simply the warmth of the woman in her arms. A dozen failures and a thousand lonely nights of questions and fears were washed away. Any history between them wasn't simply being ignored; it had ceased to be relevant.

_I see skies of blue and clouds of white_

_The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night_

_And I think to myself _

_What a wonderful world_

"I've always hoped to find a friend like you." Kim was speaking to her now, the words sinking deep. "If you were mine, I would never let you go." "And if I gave myself to you?"

"Then I would love you more than anyone could ever love you."

"What would you ask of me in return?" They continued to move together, as one, through eternity.

_The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky _

_Are also on the faces of people goin' by _

_I see friends shakin' hands, saying "How do you do!" _

_They're really sayin' "I love you."_

"Nothing; I would ask nothing of you."

"Nothing at all? Not even love for yourself?"

The redhead lifted her face to look into twin emeralds, so like her own. She shook her head.

"Not for myself; love is to be given freely or not at all." The hand at Shego's back moved higher and pulled the tall woman closer. "I freely give you all of the love that I carry within me."

_I hear babies cry, I watch them grow _

_They'll learn much more than I'll ever know _

_And I think to myself _

_What a wonderful world _

_Yes I think to myself _

_What a wonderful world _

They stopped and Shego bent low, pulling up and lifting the slender woman up to her waiting mouth. She claimed soft lips, took the hot breath and gave her own life's breath in return. No longer searching, no longer seeking, Shego had found what she wanted and would wait no longer. It was over a full minute before they parted.

"Oh, yeah..."

Shego had fallen in love.

----------------------------------

"And the winner is... **Another Time, Another Place - Starving Lunatic**

Once again, Trin marched toward the stage, but was halted as a door in the back of the room was pushed open. "Trin!" a voice hollered; the figure was silhouetted from the dim lights in the hall.

Trin turned to see who it was that was calling her. "You," she said with distain in her voice.

"Yeah, me. Bet you didn't think you'd see me again," Starving Lunatic replied as she dragged her tired body into the awards' hall. She was dripping wet with chains and ropes hanging off of her. There was seaweed in her hair.

"I should've known better than to leave your demise to Shin," the blonde commented.

"Gee, ya think?" Starving Lunatic remarked with a laugh and a demented gleam in her eye.

"But, it does leave me the pleasure of destroying you for all you've done to me," Trin stated and she drew her katana, which happened to be on her hip.

Just as they were about to get into an epic battle (where Starving Lunatic would undoubtedly be gutted like a fish), they were being given the signal that the speech was too long and the show needed to be moved on. So, Starving Lunatic and Trin were forced backstage, where a lot of pained screaming could be heard.

Matt just smiles as Jason looks back behind the curtain worried. "See man, there's Starving Lunatic now! I told you not to worry."

"She's going to get slaughtered man!"

Matt just waves his hand dismissively. "Nah, she'll be fine. Hey, if they couldn't stop her earlier, what chance does she have?"

A loud crash resounds through the building, and Jason wimces sharply. "Ohh... I remember that wall..."

Matt just grins out at the audiance. "Well, while those two sort out their differences, let's welcome Elton John with Can You Feel the Love Tonight!"

_There's a calm surrender to the rush of day  
When the heat of a rolling wind can be turned away  
An enchanted moment, and it sees me through  
It's enough for this restless warrior just to be with you _

And can you feel the love tonight  
It is where we are  
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer  
That we got this far  
And can you feel the love tonight  
How it's laid to rest  
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds  
Believe the very best

There's a time for everyone if they only learn  
That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn  
There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors  
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours

_  
And can you feel the love tonight  
It is where we are  
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer  
That we got this far  
And can you feel the love tonight  
How it's laid to rest  
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds  
Believe the very best _

And can you feel the love tonight  
It is where we are  
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer  
That we got this far  
And can you feel the love tonight  
How it's laid to rest  
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds  
Believe the very best

_It's enough to make kings and vagabonds  
Believe the very best_


	17. Best Comedy Story

Matt winced as the crashing sounds continued from the back. He turned back to the audiance, trying to keep a smile on his face. "Well, while Jason is trying to break up the fight back there..." A loud crash sounds out, followed by a short scream, and Matt just winces. "Umm... as I was saying, with Jason preoccupied, I guess, I'll just have to continue hosting on my own, so..."

"Not so fast. I'm here to help you with that."

Matt's expression turned to one of confusion as Triaxx came out from the other side of the stage. "Hey, I thought you were hurt when you landed on Dementor?"

"I got better." Triaxx gave him a look, before smiling to the crowd. "It gives me great pleasure to welcome our next presenters, Yvj, MC Honey, and Britina!"

Matt just gave him a look. "Dude, you don't have to suck up to anyone you know."

Triaxx just glared back. "I'll do this my way if you don't mind."

Yvj approached the podium with a large grin on his face as he stands in between the beautiful Britina and the gorgeous MC Honey who waved and smiled politely at the audience.

Yvj leaned into the microphone "Grenville Kleiser once said...Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset...

"It attracts and keeps friends." MC Honey said

"It lightens human burdens." Britina continued

"It is the direct route to serenity and contentment" Yvj concluded and promptly received light applause from the audience.

He nodded in acknowledgment and then placed his hand up to silence the crowd. He turned to the girls "Which reminds me ladies" he paused for effect "Did you hear the one about the Buddhist monk who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work?"

"No we haven't" they said in unison

Yvj looked into the crowd "He wanted to transcend dental medication!"

MC Honey blinked at him once and twice "What?"

Britina shook her head back and forth "Yea I don't get it either"

It is so quiet in the room you can hear a pin drop or in this case Yvj gulping loudly "A little over your head huh? That's cool ok uh...Why is a pig's tail like getting up in the morning?"

Britinia glances at the McHoney from the side of her eyes for a naonsecond then back at Yvj "Why?"

"It's TWIRLY!" He shouted out with glee

Crickets

Yvj's eyes darted back and forth across the audience "IT'S TWIRLY" he repeated.

"Yea we heard that...but what does it mean?" McHoney asked.

Yvj ran his hands across his collar and cleared his throat "It's twirly...too early...the pig's tail is twirly and...getting up in the morning...is too early." he stammered. "It's a pun...it's punny"

"Oh" Britina replied dejectedly

"Yea" he leaned towards McHoney "Don't just stand there I'm dying out here..." Yvj handed her a note card "here follow the card"

Mc Honey looked down at the card and began to read slowly "Have your eyes been checked?"

"No they're blue!" Yvj opens his arms to appeal to the crowd. His only reply is a loud bout of coughing coming from the front row. "Come on folks this is GOLD! What about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids"

"Ach I dinnae think ma wee ears can take anoother minute of this torture! Laddie I cannae believe it but ya joking is worse than Drakken's singing!"

Yvj scanned the crowd and spotted the heckler "Duff Killigan!"

Duff Killigan jumped out into the aisle "That's ma name laddie and ya be wary not to be wearing it oot!"

Yvj backed away from the podium "Look Duff bubby, baby, there's no reason to get huffy...I've got just the joke for you...What's Irish and stays out all night?...PADDY O' FURNITURE!"

A dry wind wafts across the room blowing a dry weed across the stage. Mc Honey gave an exasperated sigh and turned to Britinia "Girl let's drop out of here like a roller coaster"

"Totally" Britinia agreed and they both make their way off stage. "Who wrote this garbage anyway?"

"Ladies wait!" Yvj shouted after them. Britinia used her thumb and her forefinger to create an L and placed it up on her forehead before turning away.

"Are ye daft boy! I'm not Irish, I'm Scottish!"

"Well uh at least I'm not wearing a dress!"

"Dress? This is a manly kilt...everyone knows Dementor is the one who likes to dress like a lass."

"IT WAS A HOUSECOAT!" came a shout from the back.

Duff placed a golf ball on the carpet and pulled out his most trusted club

"Wait a minute I thought the villains had to check their weapons at the door" Yvj cried

"I'm nae giving you anoother warning boy. Ya best get on wid the show or I'll be givin ya some more bombs to cry aboot."

"SECURITY!!!!!!!"

Killigan pulled his club back "An Imma aimin for a hole in one in the back nine"

"And the nominees are..."

----------------------------------------

**It's Addictive - Spectre666**

Kim whirled and snatched Bonnie's shirt with both fists. Pulling her rival close,

"I know you Bon-Bon, tell me you didn't love it?" Kim shook Bonnie roughly, "Come on, tell me."

"Well, maybe..maybe a little." The brunette stammered in fear.

"A **little?"** Kim snarled.

"Ok, ok, maybe I got into it, but that still doesn't excuse…" Bonnie shut up as her head was rattled.

Throwing her nemesis aside, Kim turned on the crowd. "How many of you…"

The crowd began to break up as blushing females tried to sneak out of range. The other members of the squad were caught.

Kim glared, "All right. Who? Anybody he missed?"

Only the overweight equipment manager raised her hand.

Kim angry eyes began to glaze. "All..all of you?"

Some of the girls began to blush and look anywhere but at their leader.

Given a moment, Bonnie had regained her nerve and renewed her attack.

"It doesn't matter, Kim" she shouted. Lowering her voice, " Maybe we…maybe**I** liked it a little too much, but that still doesn't excuse you for starting him down this road."

Kim's small smile began to grow into giggles, joined by the others.

Bonnie frowned, "It's not funny, Possible, you're the one who turned a loser into **Ronald Stoppable,** **the Middleton booty basher, the worst serial spanker in history!"**

-----------------------------------

**Kim Flatable - The Humbug**

"Shego! Wake up! Something's happening to me... I feel a little queasy." Kim belched daintily and Shego became conscious of a bubbling sound in Kim's belly.

"Do you feel like you're growing again?"

"No... (burp)... but I do have that full feeling, and I feel a little sick." After all that the girls had been through that evening, Kim was starting to feel afraid again.

"Shego, whatever happens to me tonight, know that I do and always will love you."

"Cut that crap out, Princess, I'm not leaving you." Shego stayed on her perch, rolling over to lay her naked body on top of her lover's bloated form, but this time facing Kim directly. "I'm sticking around so we can see this little adventure to the end, even if you splatter me with yuck."

(Author's Note: the Humbug thrusts his fist in the air with a victory cry: "Yes"!)

The bubbling had become a rumbling, and Kim's tight flesh was quivering all over. The two girls held to each other for dear life, each awaiting the final outcome with growing horror. And then... and THEN...

POOT!

"What the... Oh, good grief, Kim! That was rank!"

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

"Oh... that feels so much better!"

"Gag! Crack a window; you're killing me! Strike a match... better yet, don't!"

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

"Giggle!"

"Don't you dare laugh, Kimmie! This is NOT funny! You owe me a new rug!"

...POOT...

After several nose blistering minutes, Kim lay huddled among the remnants of her ruined clothing. Her body had returned to its normal size and shape and the young woman was none the worse for wear. Shego was desperately attempting to boost the power on the ventilation unit in her suite of rooms. Kim's prolonged and explosive venting had left an odorous pall in the air.

"You're just damn lucky that you didn't make a mess in here! That was gross!"

**-------------------------------------------**

**Tales of the Awkweird - S-Chrome**

"Oh man..." Ron groused as he stared at his newly formed trouser tent. Why did bad things like this happen to people like him?

_Oh yes... Because he was fifteen years of age, and the obsessions of the opposite sex had a crushing grip on him... He guessed it was only natural to begin thinking of..._

His very well-thought out explanation was broken when a door opened. Out of it barrelled Jim & Tim, the annoying younger brother of Kim. Well... They _were _twins... But they may as well have been the same person. Heck, Ron had trouble distinguishing one from the other in any case.

"Ron, what are you doing in the hall?" One asked, who was had on a green t-shirt.

"And... what's that in your pants?" The other asked, who wore a red tee.

The clinical diagnosis of Ron's condition was classified as "Severe Critical Temporary Shutdown Syndrome," or SCTSS. While it was more prevalent in females, it happened to a lot of males. Due to absolute, utter, and complete embarrassment, Ron could not manage to speak, move, or even lose bodily functions. Though, the third would probably be forthcoming before the others.

"Wuuuh, Guuh... I... Wuuh... Ehh,"

Instead of finding the unintelligible gibberish confusing or annoying, the twin boys laughed it off.

"You're funny, Ron," Jim chuckled.

"Keep going!" Tim urged.

If there was anyway that Ron Stoppable could turn this ridiculously awkward situation into some modicum of a positive, then why the heck not?

"Uh... Guh... Wha," Ron faked.

The boys continued to laugh at the blond's abject silliness. That is, of course, until another door creaked open.

"Tweebs, what did I tell you about... _Ron?_"

--------------------------------

busted (**bust·ed) **_n - Slang Term. _

_An arrest or raid_

--------------------------------

Yep... That was the word he was looking for. He didn't dare turn around. He was already caught with his pants down. No... caught with his pants hanging... No... Caught with something stiffin his pants. Yeah, that's about right. Was he about to let his best friend see him in this state? His current state of... unknown hardness?

_No buddy... I don't think so. _

_"Eh... heheh,"_ He chuckled sheepishly, his back still turned away from her.

"Uh, Ron... Is there something wrong?"

The boys had went bad to their room in a hurry. Ron, on the other hand, was still just about frozen in his spot. He turned around slowly, hoping, and-a wishing that he wouldn't see anything that he shouldn't.

_'Three... Two... One.' _

He whirled around to see Kim... Fully clothed. The sidekick let out a lengthy exhale. The apocalypse wasn't occurring... At least not now.

"Eh... Nothing, KP. I was just waiting for you to uh... Not be naked."

-------------------------------

_Critical Error 110B: Slip of the tounge._

_Expect total destruction and catastrophe._

-------------------------------

Ok... Hold that thought on the apocalypse... Maybe it was coming today.

The redhead stared at him in wide-eyed confusion... Then shrugged it off. She had heard weirder things come out from his mouth before, and what he said a moment ago probably wasn't going to be the last.

"Uh... Yeeeah. Thanks for the privacy," She said in an ambigious tone. "Anyways, let's go..."

Ron was surprised... Total exoneration? How about that? He trailed closely behind her as they left the house. Perhaps things wasn't as awkward as he thought it was. As teen heroine and sidekick waited for their ride to arrive, however

"By the way, Ron. What was that in your pants? I thought you kept Rufus in your pocket."

_Son of a..._

**-----------------------------------------------------**

**The Dangers of a Mixed Marriage - King in Yellow**

As the family ate dinner the following evening Shego brought up the topic. "Kasy, Sheki, I know sometimes you complain about how busy you are every weekend. This next year is going to be even worse for you, I'm afraid. You need to decide whether you're going to be Christian or Jewish. And your mommy and I want you to go through the lessons for both, so you can make up your minds for yourselves."

"And it will be your choice," Kim assured them. "Eemah and I will not try to force you either way. We love you, no matter how you decide."

"Right, your mommy will still love you if you decide Jewish. I'll just never speak to you again if you don't."

"Shego!" Kim swatted her partner on the arm. "Stop that!"

"Notice how the Christians persecute the Jews," Shego told the twins.

Kim swatted her on the arm again, "We agreed not to put pressure on them!"

"All's fair in love and war, Kim. Remember girls, eight nights of Chanukah, only one for Christmas--"

"All's fair in love?" Kim interrupted.

"Yes, and war--" Shego's words were cut off suddenly as Kim grabbed her and threw the pale woman over her shoulder, then headed for the door out of the kitchen.

"Finish supper and load the dishwasher," Kim told the twins. "Eemah and I have to, ah, review our conversation on the subject. We'll be back in fifteen minutes."

Shego giggled, "It had better take us at least forty-five minutes to review our conversation."

---------------------------------------------------

"And the winner is... **It's Addictive - Spectre666**

Spectre approached the stage, smiling brightly.

"Thank you, thank you. Who knew when I started this that Kim's Kinky Kabootie would go so far. Not only has she developed a passion for the Ronster's touch, she has inadvertently released the latent "Master" in her BFBF. I only hope she can remember all sixteen of her kung fu styles for the rumble that is about to start. Again thank you all, but my time is short. Bon-Bon has agreed to let me practice my two hundred and first "touch"."

"WHAT?"

Everyone turned in time to see Jason coming from the back, somewhat disheviled. "Umm... what I was saying..."

Jason just stalked forward. "You know what, I've had enough! Violence and chaos everywhere! Well, you know what, time for a little of my own. Steal my date will you?"

Spectre's eyes went wide, and he bolted from the stage, a very irate Jason trailing right behind.

Triaxx and Matt shared a look. "I think he's snapped."

Matt just nodded in agreement. "Had to happen at some point, he's wound way too tight."

Triaxx nodded, turning back to the audiance. "Well, let's welcome our next performer, Poison, with Nothin' but a Good Time!"

_Now Listen  
Not a dime, I can't pay my rent  
I can barely make it through the week  
Saturday night I'd like to make my girl  
But right now I can't make ends meet_

_I'm always workin' slavin' every day  
Gotta get away from that same old same old  
I need a chance just to get away  
If you could hear me think this is what I'd say_

_Don't need nothin' but a good time  
How can I resist  
Ain't lookin' for nothin' but a good time  
And it don't get better than this_

_They say I spend my money on women and wine  
But I couldn't tell you where I spent last night  
I'm really sorry about the shape I'm in  
I just like my fun every now and then_

_I'm always workin' slavin' every day  
Gotta get away from that same old same old  
I need a chance just to get away  
If you could hear me think this is what I'd say_

_Don't need nothin' but a good time  
How can I resist  
Ain't lookin' for nothin' but a good time  
And it don't get better than this_

_You see I raise a toast to all of us  
Who are breakin' our backs every day  
If wantin' the good life is such a crime  
Lord, then put me away  
Here's to ya_

_Don't need nothin' but a good time  
How can I resist  
Ain't lookin' for nothin' but a good time  
And it don't get better than this_

_Don't need nothin' but a good time  
How can I resist  
Ain't lookin' for nothin' but a good time  
And it don't get better than this_

_Don't need nothin' but a good time  
How can I resist  
Ain't lookin' for nothin' but a good time  
And it don't get better than this_


	18. Best OneShot

Matt and Triaxx just smile as they look out over the audiance. "You know, this might be even easier without Jason. He was starting to get a bit whiny."

Triaxx just nods. "Yeah. That, and I'm hurt he didn't even notice I was missing at all. I mean, I am on the comittee after all."

"I know, and you did a bang-up job. But you know how he gets, all grumpy and serious."

"Oh well, we're hosting now. And with that, let's welcome our next presenters, Beeftony and Monique!"

Beeftony and Monique walk up on stage. Their arms are locked together and their eyes are focused straight ahead. Their footsteps move in unison as they steadily make their way to the podium. All eyes are on them as they prepare to present the next award.

Beeftony is 6'3" with a thin build, peach-colored skin, and dark brown hair and eyes. The crowd notices that he bears a striking resemblance to Jim Carrey as Lloyd Christmas from _Dumb and Dumber_, but thankfully his sense in fashion is much more tasteful. He is clad in a black pinstripe suit with a red full-length tie that matches the dress of the African-American woman next to him. He wears a white dress shirt underneath and gold cufflinks. His black Italian shoes have been professionally shined for this occasion, and they make a noticeable clatter over the low murmur of the crowd as he and his date walk side-by-side. But it is not beeftony who captures the crowd's attention.

The woman to his left holds the eyes of the crowd captive. Her rich ebony skin and voluptuous curves make her quite the eye-pleaser. Her thick, voluminous hair is worn up in a bon with strands of curly brown locks dangling from her head, recalling the beauty of a majestic chandelier. Silver African hoop earrings adorn her ears. A faint shadow of rouge can be detected on her cheeks, and she wears just enough make-up to bring out her natural beauty. Her full lips have been painted a deep lustful red that matches the color of her crimson dress. Preferring boldness over extravagance, the Ferrari-red gown fits her perfectly, and there is not a single trace of frilliness. The fiery stilettos encapsulating her feet seem to say, "This girl is too good for you, baby boy."

The evening-length dress is simple in its elegance. A single red strap holds it in place while her other shoulder is left bare. The gown hugs along her curves and offers some interesting views to those brave enough to look. Those who would dare to examine her luscious form without her permission would soon find themselves on the receiving end of a dressing down so intense it would terrify even Steve Barkin. For Monique is not some object to be ordered around. She is a strong, independent woman and any man afraid of that is not worthy of her time.

But beeftony is not afraid. Strong women are what attracted him to the _Kim Possible_ section of the site in the first place. With Kim and Shego both taken, Monique was a natural choice. She is here tonight as his distinguished date, and he is content simply to fade into the background while she soaks up all the attention that she so deserves. He has been raised to respect women, and he graciously treats his date with the respect granted by a true gentleman. But beeftony is a guy. And guys can be idiots sometimes.

Matt hands the envelope to beeftony and graciously exits the stage. Beeftony pulls a speech he has prepared from his breast pocket, detaching himself from Monique in the process and handing her the envelope. He looks down at the sheet of paper and begins to read.

"A one-shot is a one-chapter story that is complete. It can be as short as twenty words or as long as twenty-thousand words, both of which I have seen, the former of which was a poem. While not as long or detailed as the multi-chapter and novel-length stories, a one-shot's strength lies in its ability to briefly communicate a powerful or humorous message without any unnecessary details. A one-shot can make for a fun little read that allows the reader to quickly glance over it and still get a complete sense of the story. It can also awe us with its profound insights that are expressed so succinctly, yet so powerfully, a pleasure usually reserved for poems. A one-shot can evoke laughter, tears, anger, and even arousal." He pauses for a moment and looks over to captainkodak1, who smiles sheepishly and shrinks into his chair as all the eyes in the room are suddenly focused on him. Shego, his date, eyes her drink suspiciously and pushes it away from her without taking a sip. Kim does the same with the drink that Ron has just given her. Both men curse silently. Beeftony smiles and resumes his speech.

"A one-shot can be many things. It can be a brief humor vignette, a tragedy filled with bitter angst, or something in between. Whatever it is used for, a one-shot provides us with a brief window into the lives of the characters. It achieves something in its brevity that longer tales cannot, and that is accessibility. One-shots are great to read when one simply does not have the time to devote to the longer stories. One-shots can also be helpful to the writer since they can just crank it out and get back to work on their longer stories. As fun as multi-chapter stories can be, there is something about the short story that draws us in and gives us our daily dosage of entertainment. There are innumerable one-shots here at ffnet, and I have written several myself. There have been many solid entries this year, and each one of them has captured our hearts and brought out the emotions buried deep within us. The three nominees tonight are the best of the best, and it was a true pleasure reading them. You are all winners, and you have touched each and every one of our hearts. Thank you."

Beeftony steps back from the podium and the crowd erupts in applause. Monique steps forward with the envelope. "And the nominees are…"

---------------------------------------------

**Follow the Queen - A. Markov/King in Yellow**

"Monique," Ron bellowed, "when is Will going to get here?"

"He's on his way. He stopped in at Global Justice to finish up some paperwork."

"Brown noser…"

"What was that, KP?"

"Nothing."

"Why the confused face?"

"Wade just called to see if he and Drew were here yet..."

"Say what?"

"Look, I'm just repeating what he said. He wanted to know if tomorrow's test worked right. Those two scare me sometimes."

"Focus, KP. Focus on what's important… my reputation as Snack Master. When are they going to be here? If I put snacks out too early the ice melts and Shego and Bonnie eat the best stuff before everyone else gets here. If I wait too long my rep may suffer."

As if on cue, Shego and Bonnie walked in each carrying a two-year old. "Hey, Kim… Stoppable… Game time! I just saw the hovercraft setting down." Shego glanced around, "Why aren't the snacks out yet?"

"See what I mean?" Ron threw the ice bucket to Kim, "Here, fill that up for me." He hurriedly began setting up plates of cookies, bowls of chips and a variety of dips, a small mound of sandwiches and a fruit platter.

"You know we ate supper, right?"

"Please, Bonnie, I have a reputation to uphold."

All conversation ended when the Kaysey and Sheki caught sight of the cookies, "Look, you can each have _one_. But Mommy and I don't want you to have too much sugar before bedtime."

The sound of the front doorbell sent the miniature rockets off, leaving a vapor trail of crumbs as they ran into the entryway chanting, "Unca Drew, unca Drew."

Kim came back with the ice bucket. "Check him for weapons before he gives anything to the girls," she told Shego.

"You know the Doc would never do anything to hurt my girls."

"And I also remember those flashlights he gave them that burned a hole in the wall."

"Accidents can happen to anyone."

"I'm just saying I just don't want any more accidents."

Tonight's gift to Shego's daughters was equally sinister, a pair of whistles. _He might have the psychiatrists fooled_, Kim thought, _but the man is still pure evil._

"Will is pulling up into the drive. Two little people need to go to bed."

"Aww, Eemah, no fair."

"Sorry squids, hugs for everybody and I tuck you in for the night."

Will made it inside in time to collect his hugs. When Shego came downstairs they had saved her a place beside Kim.

"So, what will be the answer to the great question this week?" Wade solemnly intoned.

"What great question?"

"Will Ron keep his pants on or will he lose his shirt?"

"Well, we all know which one Bonnie is hoping for," Shego laughed.

But, even as the game began, a plot was being hatched. Two prowlers, using the chaos of the game to cover their moves, planned a daring raid on a treasure hidden deep inside the old house.

**----------------------------------------------------**

**Study Break - Mattb3671**

"Every _night_, Ron. I like it, I like it as much as you. As often. I like to think about waking in your arms every day. I really do. You, in school with me. Away from my Dad. Away from home. In _our_ home. Every _morning_, Ron. Now, solve for X...

She wrote an equation for him on the notebook between them. Ron looked at it, then wrote the answer, looking at the paper, looking at her breasts. Bite and pull. Syrup. He got it right, just solving it in his head.

"Show your work, Ronny..." Kim pouted, breath entering deep. Oh God, it was the PDP. The adult one. The lips that wrapped so well around his... when she was... dear God...

He grabbed his pencil, dulling it, pressing hard, writing. Whatever. Work. Show it. Fine. He did. Now let me look at her...

She climbed out of her pants, slowly, seeing his work was true, clad only in pretty pink underpants. He'd seen them before, and liked them then too. She noted his breath stopped. Her boobies moved with her, tiny mounds of flesh, which his eyes locked on. She giggled inside; small they may be, yet her Ron loved them. He liked to bite them. Monkey bites.

Kim sat on his bed, almost nude, his parents downstairs. They wouldn't come up, they were used to Kim's forced study sessions with their boy. They were alone.

Kim was only in her underpants. A thin barrier of pink cotton, a barrier that would smell like man candy. Ron knew now, that right answers would make them disappear.

"Physics, Ronny. Who was the godfather of the science, and what did he do?" Kim asked, then took a very deep breath, arms at her sides.

"Max Plank. Opened up a new school of thought. Opened up science to the free thinking researchers... oh, Kim. Oh, KP. No more studying, must touch, your body is chauncy..."

Kim stood, and smiled as she lowered her drawers. She held forth her hand to stop his advance, to place him back in his chair. "Every time you feel stumped, my Ronny, I want you to think of this night..."

**--------------------------------------------------------**

"Oh, you just gotta love the smuff," beeftony comments. He turns to Monique. "Did you know it's possible to use smuff in a KiGo story?"

Monique's eyes widen with interest. "I didn't."

"You should read _The Silence_ sometime. It's a great story."

Matt emerges from backstage and raises an accusing finger at beeftony. "Blasphemy!" he cries. Triaxx grabs his hands and attempts to hold him back.

"Um, right," beeftony manages to speak as he watches Triaxx trying to restrain Matt, who has the look of an enraged bull in his eye. "Next nominee?" He nudges Monique, whose attention is also held captive by the sight of Matt hanging onto the door frame for dear life as Triaxx struggles to pull him into the backstage office. He is quite upset with the perversion of his brainchild.

"You'll pay for this, beeftony! Don't believe you won't pay!" Matt bellows before being pulled into the backstage office. Monique turns back to her envelope.

"Oh! Um, the next nominee is…"

**------------------------------------------------------------**

**Zorpox and the Cheerleader - MrDrP**

"So, you really don't want to break up with me?" Ron finally asked, disbelief and relief mingling in his voice.

"No, you goofball. Why would I want to do that? Oh yeah, maybe because I've grown tired of being intimate with my best friend in the world who's a ferociously good kisser, who's always there for me, who cares about me more than anything in the world, who I enjoy being with more than anyone else I've ever met, who makes my heart beat faster, and who just happens to be my partner in fighting evil. Yeah, I guess I should break up with you," she said, playfully slapping her forehead. "Doy! To think I hadn't thought of those reasons sooner. Thanks, Ron!"

"Okay, now you're mocking me, Kim," Ron said defensively.

"Well, duh! You deserve it. Me break up with you. So not going to happen," she said airily.

Ron, who was finally beginning to relax, was caught off guard when Kim's demeanor quickly changed.

"Though," she continued, looking away from him, "you may want to break up with me."

"Huh?" Ron felt like he was suffering from mental whiplash. He was convinced that if he were a cartoon character smoke would be pouring out of his ears because the machinery of his brain would be overloading just about now. "Okay, KP, you've lost me. There's no way I would break up with the most bon-diggity girlfriend ever. Nuh uh."

"You haven't heard what I have to say …" Kim said, now fidgeting, a very unusual sight to Ron. She only did that when she was crushing on some guy …

No. There was just no way Kim was going to tell him that she'd cheated on him. Even thinking that was wrong-sick.

Which meant he was clueless and completely in the dark.

"Kim, whatever it is, I'm sure it's not as bad as you think," Ron said. "Look, if you could kiss me in front of everyone at the prom, you really can do anything."

To Ron's surprise, this last statement caused Kim to blush. She began to play with her hair and tap her foot. Then she took a deep breath and looked at Ron. "You're right. I'm Kim Possible. I can do anything and I can do this. I can tell you this." She took another deep breath, then said, "I have … fantasies."

"Excuse me?" Ron said, not sure that he'd heard what he thought he'd just heard.

"I said I have fantasies, okay?" she exclaimed, in what seemed to be a combination growl/whine.

Ron could see that saying this was hard for her; even he was smart enough to realize she was afraid that he'd be freaked out or revolted by what she'd been thinking. He reached over and took Kim's hand. He gazed into her eyes, trying to telepathically send strength to her. "It's okay, KP. You can tell me. But only if you want to …" Ron said, hiding any fear he may have had that these fantasies didn't include him and did include others.

"Okay. I, I – . Oh, Ron," Kim said flopping back into the couch cushion, "You're going to think I'm a freak or, or some kind of perv."

"KP, I'm the guy whose motto is 'Never be normal,' remember? Uh, wait a minute, don't make any inferences from that. I mean, aww man, I can't get anything right …"

Kim couldn't help but giggle as Ron became flustered. Kim's mirth in turn helped Ron regain his composure.

"… Look, you may spend a lot of time fighting freaks, but you are definitely not freaky. Hot, but not freaky," he said grinning as she both smiled and reddened. "I'm not gonna flake on you, Kim. Tell me what's up and we'll be chauncy."

"Weeelllll," Kim said, as she straightened herself, placed her hands on her knees, and drew yet another deep breath. "You know I sometimes like the bad boys ... "

Ron tried not to look crestfallen; he just knew that Kim was going to tell him she had some thing for Danny from Agony County.

"… Well, actually it's one bad boy," she said somehow finding the courage to stare Ron in the eye. "You."

"What?" Ron asked, now totally flummoxed.

"Well, not you. Though it is you, just not you you," Kim explained, blushing again while eliciting a lost expression from her boyfriend. "I mean, I hope by now you know that I really like you that way – and I so mean that, Ron. But this fantasy, it uh, well, you see, I mean, er, um …" Kim had begun wringing her hands. "Okay, I'm so crushing on Zorpox," she finally blurted out.

---------------------------------------------------------

"Ah yes, the master of K/R," beeftony says with a sigh. "Too bad he doesn't like KiGo. There's some really great stuff he's missing."

"What's so great about KiGo?" calls a female voice from the audience. Beeftony turns his head to find that the comment has come from none other than Shego, who is plenty mad. "I mean, two hot chicks getting it on. Woo-hoo, extra hoo. Seriously, you guys are a bunch of pervs!"

Beeftony nervously adjusts the mike on the podium. "I think it's a bit more complicated than that…"

"Like hell it is!" Shego roars, standing to her feet. "I've read your story! Like she'd want to bone me after I killed her sidekick?"

Ron, who has not been listening up to this point, is suddenly intrigued. "Wait, what about Shego killing me?"

Beeftony tries desperately to explain. "You see, it's part of an overall theme I'm going for where…"

"Seriously, I'm dead?" Ron interrupts. "What's all this about, anyway?" Rufus climbs into his ear and whispers. "Ohhhhh," Ron says in realization, then shrugs. "Guess it beats having to break up with Kim and offer love advice to the woman carrying her baby." Now all eyes are focused on Blackbird, who shrugs it off with a five-fingered wave, holding his Fannie Award in his other hand. The sight of Jen crossing her arms in an intimidating gesture behind him and glaring at onlookers shifts attention back to beeftony, who is now pulling nervously on his collar. Monique leans in and whispers.

"This doesn't look too good," she comments.

"Agreed," beeftony replies, noticing that Kim has been quiet this whole time. "And what about you, Kim? Do you think my story's a bunch of garbage too?"

"Wha?" Kim says as she jumps slightly, startled. Up until now she has been dreaming of what she and Ron have planned for later in the evening. "Oh, um, what were we talking about again?"

"KiGo," the entire room informs the redhead, who in response furrows her brow and stands up, clenching her fists.

"Oh," she says in the most menacing of tones. "You're one of 'them.'"

"No, no, it's not like that at all," beeftony tries to assure her, shrinking under her withering glare. "You see, I'm just doing this one. The rest is K/R."

"Oh," Kim replies in a far less menacing tone, pleasantly surprised.

Shego, however, is not. "Ya know, Princess, he killed you off too in one of his stories. And he had Stoppable sleep with me and Bon-Bon over there," she says mischievously, gesturing towards Zaratan's date.

Ron's ears perk up with interest. "BADI—" he starts to shout, only to find Kim's glare focused on him. "I mean wrong! Sick and wrong!" he declares with a horizontal sweeping gesture. Kim's rage is now focused towards beeftony, as is that of the rest of the room. He smiles sheepishly and turns to find Monique glaring at him.

"So who you gonna kill off next?" she inquires, her arms crossed on her chest and her hip stuck out authoritatively. The look on her face can burn a hole through steel.

"Um, well," beeftony stammers, shrinking away from Monique's all-powerful stare. "I was thinking… Felix."

"Dude, that is so not cool!" the wheelchair-laden man calls from the audience.

"Oh sure, kill the cripple!" Monique rants. "Boy, I am switchin' sides." She starts to walk away.

"No! You can't!" beeftony pleads desperately, grabbing her arm.

"Don't tell me what I can and cannot do!" Monique shouts angrily as she pushes him back. "What are you gonna do, kill me off too?

"The thought had occurred to me," beeftony admits. Monique's glare intensifies. "But I decided not to because you're the most beautiful person in the whole wide world?" He says uncertainly, his physical safety dangling by a thread.

"Mm-Hmm," Monique says in typical strong black woman style and all the eyes in the room now eye beeftony hungrily, needing a scapegoat. He backs up slowly, not caring about the awards anymore. He only cares about one thing: getting the hell out of Dodge. "Can't we all just get along?" he pleads meekly.

Beeftony's hopes of escape are dashed when Matt, escaping from Triaxx's grasp, charges across the stage like an enraged bull and catches beeftony in a flying tackle that sends both of them tumbling off the stage. The crowd takes this as their cue and all of a sudden everyone in the room has gathered in a crowd around beeftony, taking turns beating the living snot out of the whipping boy.

"Smuff this!" Matt shouts as his fist connects with beeftony's face. He stands up and allows Kim and Shego to take over. Both eye him with malicious intent. The bloodthirsty crowd cries out for vengeance. Beeftony decides to crack one last stupid joke.

"See, you do have common ground! You both hate _me_!" he says, and both women turn to each other.

"He's got a point," Shego acknowledges.

"Yeah," Kim agrees.

"You wanna maim him?" Shego proposes.

"Oh yeah."

MrDrP steps forth from the crowd and stands next to Kim. "Now, Kimmie-cub, you know I don't approve of violence, but he _is _a KiGo shipper. Do as you must." He disappears back into the crowd.

"With pleasure," Kim says half to herself and grins devilishly at beeftony. Shego sports a similar grin.

The two women take turns using beeftony as a human punching bag, scratching, slashing, punching, kicking, and even biting to exact their revenge on the man who decided they would make a good couple. "The pain! The pain!" he cries, half of him wanting to escape, the other half thinking that this is one hell of a way to go.

Ron emerges from the crowd and lunges towards beeftony, waiting for Kim and Shego to get out of the way before he leaps in the air and crashes down on the hapless author, driving his elbow into beeftony' stomach. "Steel Toe's number one!" he shouts.

"Nuh-uh, Pain King!" Monique opines as she dog-piles on beeftony and Ron. The rest of the crowd follows suit, and a cartoonish cloud of dust forms, with fists, legs, and heads emerging at random. No one notices the naked mole rat weave his way through the mass of bodies and find a very sensitive part of beeftony's anatomy. He bites down hard.

A sickening crunch is heard, and the crowd separates to find Rufus chewing on a rather important part of beeftony's trousers. Beeftony looks at the naked mole rat, the pain evident on his face. "Et Tu, Rufus?" he squeaks.

"Uh-huh!" the naked mole rat growls, and pandemonium is about to erupt once more when Zaratan rushes on-stage and takes the mike.

"Okay, sorry people, I had to take care of some personal matters. Anything happen while I was gone?" he speaks before looking out to the crowd, whose outfits are torn and bloodied. Tables are overturned, fires have been lit, and sirens can be heard in the background. Everyone is frozen in the position they were in before Zaratan walked out, staring at their host like deer in headlights.

Zaratan slaps his forehead. "I can't believe this happened again! I'm gone for five minutes, and this is what happens? We're barely halfway through the evening!" He sags his shoulders in defeat, wondering if the same fate awaits him at next year's awards. He sighs. "Okay, who was announcing the winner?"

A slightly disheveled Monique, whose dress is somehow still intact, makes her way up to the stage carrying the tattered envelope in her hands. The entire crowd remains frozen. She opens her mouth. "And the winner is… **Zorpox and the Cheerleader - MrDrP"**

MrDrP takes his wife's hand, and approaches the podium, taking care to step over the prone and unconcious body of beeftony.

"Outstanding! This is even better than meeting Lud Ludovic at last year's Rocketworld Convention," MrDrP said as he walked out onto stage wearing his Scare for Care vampire costume, which piqued a great deal of curiosity. Middleton's most famous rocket scientist beamed as he accepted his Golden Ruffie from the awards presenter. "It's a privilege to thank all of the voters who chose _Zorpox and the Cheerleader_ as the Best One-shot of 2006. I just hope the boys don't get any ideas about using this trophy as a conductor for their Antiproton Accelerator …"

Jim and Tim's smiles quickly turned into frowns as they realized they'd need to find another piece of hardware for their latest project.

"… You know, it's been a pleasure this past year to continue my hobby of writing and to know that my stories have brought pleasure to so many of you. Of course, when I was a kid, we didn't have internet-based fan fiction. We had to type out our stories, photocopy them, and send them to our friends. I still remember my first story: it was about a dashing young rocket scientist who calculated launch vectors with his eyes closed …

"Woo hoo. Extra hoo," Shego muttered into her drink.

"… Writing's been a great way to relax when I've needed a break from the demands of my work at the Space Center. And, it's also helped to keep my mind off what Kimmie-cub and Ronald are doing on the way home from their missions," the rocket scientist/author said before adding in a menacing tone as he directed a suspicious glare at his daughter's BF, "Of which I've noticed there have been quite a few more since you two began dating, _Ronald_."

"That's so not fair, Dad," Kim shot back. "It's not Ron's fault that Evil Incorporated has been super busy!" Kim shot back while Ron began rocking in his chair, babbling, "I don't want to go a black hole!"

"Now, dear," MrsDrP said as she walked onto the stage. "You promised there'd be no black hole talk tonight."

"Sorry, honey," MrDrP said. "Anyway, as I was saying …"

"Mom, why are you wearing your Scare for Care witch's costume?" Kim asked, immediately regretting her question when she saw the look her parents exchanged; it was the kind of thing no child should ever have to see. "Ron, that is so not right," Kim whimpered and clutched desperately at his hand. "Please tell me I'm having a nightmare."

"This is just sick and wrong …" her tow-headed sidekick and boyfriend stammered as the Doctors Possible continued to make eyes at one another. "Wrong-sick!"

"Mom," Kim, totally mortified, whined. "How – I mean why – I mean …"

"Dear," MrsDrP said indulgently, "How do you think your father came up with the idea for _Zorpox and the Cheerleader_?"

"Remember, Kimmie-cub," MrDrP said. "The first rule of writing is write what you know! We learned about role playing at one of our spousal encounter meetings."

"We actually have you to thank for one of our favorite fantasies," MrsDrP said to Kim before leering at her husband, "Right, Mr. Krupholz? You know, I just love it when you put on your chaps."

"Well, we can always change." MrDrP said as he wrapped an arm around his wife and pulled her close. "I think I might have the lasso in the trunk."

"No, this so cannot be happening," Kim wailed before she rose from her chair and rounded on Drakken and Shego. "You are so busted! You used some mind control ray on them." It was the only explanation, the teen hero thought. The alternative was just too gorchy to contemplate.

"Us?" a surprised blue-skinned mad scientist said. "Shego, what's she talking about?"

"Beats me, Doc," she said with a shrug. "She's sounding as whacked as you."

"Very funny," the would-be world ruler said.

"Hey, I work with what I've got," the glamorous henchwoman replied.

"You know, Shego," Captain Kodak, who was the green-hued villainess' date observed in his avuncular Tar Heel accent, "This role playing sounds interesting …"

"No way, Cap!" she snarled, her hands aglow. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," the Captain answered meekly.

"Good," Shego snapped.

As the Captain sulked, Drakken wondered what was going on, Shego glowered, Kim whimpered, and Ron tried to console his now-shell-shocked girlfriend, MrDrP turned to his wife and said in his best mock Count Dracula voice, "Vell, honey, I think it's time we go celebrate!"

Jason comes back on stage, brushing his hands. Triaxx just gives him a look. "Okay, where's Matt?"

"I gave hima time out."

"What, for fighting? Weren't you just chasing Spectre down through the halls like ten minutes ago?"

Jason just shrugged. "He needed a bit more time to cool off. He... umm... well... he got a bit of a close look at Monique as she started working Beeftoiny over and..."

Triaxx just raised his hands to silence Jason "Okay, a little too much info there. Umm... let's go to our next performer George Harrison with What is Life!"

_What I feel, I can't say_

_But my love is there for you anytime of day_

_But if it's not love that you need_

_Then I'll try my best to make everything succeed_

_Tell me, what is my life without your love_

_Tell me, who am I without you, by my side_

_What I know, I can do_

_If I give my love now to everyone like you_

_But if it's not love that you need_

_Then I'll try my best to make ev'rything succeed_

_Tell me, what is my life without your love_

_Tell me, who am I without you, by my side_

_Tell me, what is my life without your love_

_Tell me, who am I without you, by my side_

_What I feel, I can't say_

_But my love is there for you any time of day_

_But if it's not love that you need_

_Then I'll try my best to make everything succeed_

_Tell me, what is my life without your love_

_Tell me, who am I without you, by my side_

_Oh tell me, what is my life without your love_

_Tell me, who am I without you, by my side_

_What is my life without your love_

_Tell me, who am I without you, by my side_

_(fade:)_

_Oh tell me, what is my life without your love_

_Tell me who am I without you by my side_


	19. Best Novel Sized Story

Matt comes onto the stage with Triaxx and Jason, a goofy grin on his face. Jason just gives him a weird look. "Are you all right now?"

Matt just smiles. "Oh yeah..."

Triaxx's eyes go wide. "My god man, that..."

"NO, NO, NO... I didn't... I mean, I'm just saying I'm good now, no problems. I didn't... man, what kind of pervert do you take me for?"

Jason steps between them before anyone can respond. "Let's just welcome our next presenter, shall we? Presenting the Golden Rufie for best Novel-Sized Story will be campy!"

Jason turns to stage left. Nothing happens. "Uh, campy? You're on … campy?"

Five beautiful, elegantly attired ladies come out onto the stage, led by MHS cheerleader Jessica, the freckled blonde. Three are teenagers, and the other two appear to be in their thirties to early forties.

"I'm sorry, who are you people? I'm trying to run an awards show here," the goateed Canadian says. "Where's campy?"

"Sorry, Jason," Jessica says, "but campy partied a little too hearty on the Gulfstream coming out here. We had to leave him upstairs in the suite to sleep it off. We're some of the characters from his story _Mating Games,_ and we'll be presenting the award in his place. I'm Jessica, the blonde cheerleader who never gets to do anything on the show, and my companions here are all original characters. This is Traci Sandisfield …" A tanned, well-built brunette in strapless gold lamé gown raises her hand.

"… Megan Hadley …" The six-foot-tall, supermodel-slender redhead in pale blue takes a step forward and back again.

"… my fellow cheerleader Tara's mom, Jill Monroe …" It's easy to see the family resemblance here.

"… and chess captain Kevin Guberman's mom, Donna …" The petite brunette in clingy red hardly looks old enough to be a respected physician.

"Novel sized stories are one of the best things about fan fiction. Authors with the ability to sustain a story over more than 100,000 words can go into so much more depth than is possible in a 22-minute cartoon or a short story. And sometimes that extra length makes for opportunities for us background characters, which we really appreciate."

She hands the mike to Traci.

"That's true, Jess, though if you ask me the very best thing about fan fiction is that there's more sex than in the show."

Her companions nod in agreement.

"As long as you don't try to have it with _my_ boyfriend, Traci," Jess says through clenched teeth.

"I don't see a ring, Freckles," Traci snarls back.

Moving quickly, Megan steps between the two shorter girls. "Time and place, ladies, time and place." She takes the microphone from Traci and turns to the audience.

"The nominees for Best Novel-sized Story of 2006 are

----------------------------------------------

**Alone Together - Failte200**

"See, the clutch consists of two plates, Red: one spins with the engine, and the other goes to the gear-box. Now, when you push the clutch in, what happens is -"

"I don't need to know how it _works_ to drive it, Doc! Geez... Just show me how to shift the gears."

"You kinna do, sweetheart. Look, when the two plates – remember, one is spinning with the engine – come together, you have to-"

"Push in the clutch pedal, select a gear, let out the clutch. I've seen you do it a million times, Doc! Why are you making this sound hard?"

Exasperated, Shego finally gave in, "Okay then. Go for it. Remember to push the clutch in whenever you change gears. End of lesson." Shego put on her seatbelt, a point Kim did not fail to notice. Kim started the engine. So far, so good. Now, push in the clutch, and -

"Take the parking brake off, Pumpkin."

Oh, yeah. "Forgot." Shego only nodded her head. It was going to be a long day...

The truck lurched, the engine died.

Lurch. Die.

Lurch. Die. "I just need to have it revved up more..."

Lurch! Die.

LURCH! Die. LURCH! Die. LURCH! Die.

"Red..."

"No, I'm getting the hang of it..."

Lurch. Die. Lurch! Die. A dozen more times.

Kim felt utterly stupid. How did Shego make this seem so easy? Kim knew what she was supposed to do: clutch, gas, gear, let out the clutch... The trick was something about giving it the gas and letting out the clutch _at the same time_, and she just wasn't getting it! Well, she _would_ get it... dammit! She was Kim Possible, the Girl Who Could...

Lurch! Die. Lurch! Die. Lurch. Die.

... Admit She Was Wrong when she had to.

Kim sighed and shut off the engine. "So, one plate spins with the engine..."

**----------------------------------------------**

Donna Warren Guberman takes the mike from Megan. "Next we have ..."

**----------------------------------------------**

**Kim Possible : The Next Generation - MrDrP**

Ron sauntered into Engineering to meet Kim, who was there talking with Geordi about potential modifications to _Enterprise_'s stabilizer controls.

"Yo, Kimila! Geordi!"

Kim turned and smiled at her goofy boyfriend. "I'll be with you in just a couple of minutes, Ron."

"No problemo, KP. Take your time."

Ron looked around the space, which was dominated by the imposing presence of the warp core. The thrumming of the engines was impressive, yet soothing. Gazing back at Kim, he leaned on a console.

"Self-destruct sequence initiated. _Enterprise_ will self-destruct in sixty seconds," the computer intoned.

Kim and Geordi looked up and at Ron. Both noticed his hand on a shiny, red button.

"Ron!" Kim exclaimed.

"What? I didn't do anything!" he whined.

"Mr. LaForge, what's going on?" the captain asked via the intercom.

"We had an accidental initiation of the self-destruct program. I'm disarming it …"

Geordi began working the controls.

"… Snap," he cursed.

_Self-destruct in fifty seconds._

"What's the sitch?" Kim asked, a note of worry in her voice.

"I don't know. But I can't abort the sequence."

_Self-destruct in forty seconds._

"Awww man," Ron wailed as he came up behind his best friend/girlfriend, "Kim, I'm sorry."

She turned and looked at her stricken best friend/boyfriend. Part of her wanted to deck him. Because of his carelessness, they were all going to die. But she did love him and those ears were soooo ferociously cute …

_Self-destruct in thirty seconds._

"No big, Ron," she said, wrapping his arms around his neck. "I still love you," she added before giving him a last, passionate kiss.

II.

"Well, Number One, it's been quite an adventure," Picard said, surprisingly calm given the unforeseen turn of events.

"Yes, it has, Sir. Though I have to admit my disappointment. I always wanted to sit in that chair. And another trip to Risa would have been nice …"

_Self-destruct in twenty seconds._

Picard smiled at his first officer, then rose. "Take her, Will. She's yours."

Riker smiled at his captain, impressed with how gallant Jean-Luc Picard could be, even in a situation like this.

"Thanks, Sir," he replied, a grin on this face, "but this ship is yours, and always will be. It's been my honor to serve with you."

_Self-destruct in ten seconds._

III.

Kim and Ron were still kissing when the matter/anti-matter containment field collapsed and the warp core was breached, causing a massive explosion that erased _Enterprise_ and all aboard her from existence.

IV.

With no one to stop them, Lore and Shego were able to reunite the two halves of the pan-dimensional vortex inducer. They went on a rampage of destruction before they seized control of the Federation and began a war of conquest that culminated in their ruling over the entire Alpha Quadrant with the proverbial iron fist. They weren't totally without feeling, however: they gave Drakken a solar system, with two inhabited planets, to rule; he promptly renamed the worlds Drakkanada and Drakkenville.

V.

Unfortunately for Lore, Shego, and their hapless subjects, they were unable to stop the Borg from traveling back in time to prevent Zephram Cochrane's test of the Phoenix and First Contact between humans and Vulcans. As a result, with Earth isolated and still reeling from the self-inflicted devastation of World War Three, the Collective was able to attack without opposition, teaching the people of Earth with brutal swiftness and efficiency that resistance really was futile.

**----------------------------------------------**

Donna hands the mike off to Jill Monroe. "And, last but certainly not least..."

**----------------------------------------------**

**The Gods Must Be Laughing - Starving Lunatic**

"Shego," Drakken said with a smile and he turned his attention to her, ready to work his magic on her. Well, the magic that he believed he possessed.

"What the hell are you even doing here?" Shego inquired as she walked over to the door. She ushered Kim behind her, letting the redhead know that she could go do whatever it was that she was doing before the cerulean scientist showed up.

Kim stayed where she was, curious as to just what the hell the onyx-eyed male was doing at the door. She was also curious as to how her mistress was going to handle things. She doubted that Shego was even going to listen to the guy, even though she seemed to have a weakness for the blue bastard a year ago. Kim was pretty sure that all of that was out of her owner's system, though.

"I'm going to be in town for a little while since I have some time off and I came to see you. I bought these for you," Drakken said while presenting Shego with the bouquet.

The moss-hued woman accepted the flowers without a word. Kim was shocked that her mistress would do such a thing considering the fact that the older woman hated flowers. Shego then did something that she had wanted to do to flowers since the first time some jackass ever gave her such a gift, she set the bouquet ablaze right in front of Drakken's face. He looked absolutely crushed by her actions and as bad as it might have sounded, she was satisfied by his reaction.

"I hope the dog's not for me too," Shego remarked with a sinister smirk and it took him a moment to get what she was saying. The dog cringed in his arms and tried to hide in someway from the frightening woman.

---------------------------------------------

Jessica opens the envelope and silently scans the card inside, then shows it to her co-presenters. "And the Golden Rufie goes to …"

She holds the mike out, and all five together announce, "**The Gods Must Be Laughing - Starving Lunatic"**

Starving Lunatic limped out onto the stage, blood dripping down her forehead and arm. She was also breathing hard. "Thank you for the award. I'm kinda shocked it's not a mistake. If you're wondering how I'm still alive, don't. I can't explain it, but I do know Trin's not going to be happy when she regains consciousness, so I need to make this quick in order to run again. So, thank you all for the support. I appreciate this. I appreciate you all. Okay, now, I gotta get outta here." Starving Lunatic nearly fell on her face as she dashed off as fast as her legs would carry her.

Matt just smiles smugly at Jason. "See, she's just fine. She accepted the award like there was mothing wrong."

Triaxx just stares at Matt wide-eyed. "Nothing wrong? Are you blind?"

Jason grabs the microphone as the two continue to argue. "Let's just welcome are next performers. Singing Paperback Writer, we have... is this right... the Beatles?"

_Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?  
It took me years to write, will you take a look?  
Based on a novel by a man named Lear  
And I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer,  
Paperback writer._

_It's the dirty story of a dirty man  
And his clinging wife doesn't understand.  
His son is working for the Daily Mail,  
It's a steady job but he wants to be a paperback writer,  
Paperback writer._

_Paperback writer_

_It's a thousand pages, give or take a few,  
I'll be writing more in a week or two.  
I can make it longer if you like the style,  
I can change it round and I want to be a paperback writer,  
Paperback writer._

_If you really like it you can have the rights,  
It could make a million for you overnight.  
If you must return it, you can send it here  
But I need a break and I want to be a paperback writer,  
Paperback writer._

_Paperback writer_

_Paperback writer - paperback writer  
Paperback writer - paperback writer_


	20. Surprise?

Jason stood between the two of them, who were now settling down. Jason just chuckled softly. "This is what happens when you put a Kigo and a K/R together on the same stage."

Jason poor joke was met with silence.

"Hmm... tough room. Well then, let's get on with our next presenters. Presenting... uhh... guys... I think someone did something with my notes, my page is blank here."

"Jason, may we have a moment, please?" and he was surprised to see Wade and Joss coming out from the backstage area, and the applause surprised him as well.

"Wade, we're on a pretty tight schedule," he started, and Wade finished for him:

"But, that's not important right now, Jason.

"What is important is this entire production.

"Yeah," Joss interjected. "That reminds me, Jason. Which one of y'all came up with the name? It had to be a guy that named an award ceremony the 'Fannies,'" and laughter could be heard from cpneb's and other tables.

The camera zoomed in, and the camera caught Tara making a move on a very confused and happy Pharaoh Rutin Tutin; at the same time, Rebecca Jane was smiling and wriggling in her seat and cpneb looked shocked, and then smiled. He took Rebecca Jane's hand and kissed it.

The Global Justice recruiting web site spiked, once again.

"The name, Joss, came from Mattb, Matt Bryson, originally. He mentioned in a review that he was planning to take Nooni to the Fannie awards," and a yell came from the audience.

"And Matt still owe me that date, Jason! Mattb, why you not bringing me here, tonight?" and Nooni ran towards the stage, brandishing a pair of cutting blades.

Knowing that discretion was the better part of valor, Mattb ran like the wind, followed closely by Nooni waving her carving knives and yelling "You no love me anymore!"

Joss and Wade just looked stunned, but Jason remained calm.

"As I was saying, Matt mentioned the name, and I had already been toying with the idea of a fan awards in my head at the time. So, I took the name and 'ran' with it," and Jason smiled as Joss and Wade both giggled.

"Matt meant it as a joke, but I made it a reality," and Jason concluded as a loud scream came from the backstage.

"I'd better go and take care of this sitch," and Jason ran off, hoping to save his co-host from becoming carved rump roast with a side of ribs.

"Well," and Joss coiled her whip, "there's not much I could do that Nooni's not already doing to him, so I'll leave the sleeping dog to lie.

'Or, in this case, the running dog to run faster," Wade added, and Joss punched his arm, then uncoiled her whip and cracked it with a loud POP!

"JOSS!" and Wade grinned.

"Calm down, Sweet Tea.

"Why we're here is because the numbers on the nominations jumped from year one to year two, and Joss and I were talking about this the other day.

"That's right, Wade: These nominations and the number of votes cast went higher than Tornado's email bill last month.

"Doesn't he have broadband access yet?"

"He does, but his wireless link needs an upgrade.

"To the new patch?"

"Yes; believe it or not, it's named Wilber," and some small chuckles came from the audience.

'Willll-berrrr," Wade imitated the horse, and the audience broke up.

Joss still didn't get it.

"I have the numbers from this year's votes, Wade," she continued, "and the numbers are astounding:

"Almost 30 more voters cast ballots this year than last, Wade," and Joss grinned, "and over 75 more individual votes were cast for candidates in the separate categories.

"This is an incredible upturn in voters and participation, Wade!"

"That's right, Sweet Tea,"

"WADE!" Joss swung her head and faced a grinning Wade.

"Whips and ropes, Wade."

"Promises, promises, oh Tea-So-Sweet," was Wade's response.

"What are they doing, Kimmie-cub?" James Possible asked Kim in a stage whisper, and Kim leaned over and whispered the response, generating a beet-red reaction from James and a desire to go home and pull out another Black-Hole Probe Built for Two.

"Do I have to go Middle Name on you, Agamemnon?" she whispered, unsuccessfully covering the mike, and several laughs could be heard from the audience.

"Sorry, Joss," and Wade's demeanor changed quickly, and the grin disappeared, changed quickly by her hand pinching him on the backside.

"That's for later, Aggie," she whispered as she kissed his cheek, her hand still unsuccessfully covering the microphone, and more laughs could be heard from the audience.

"Anyway, Wade," and she went back to her normal voice, grinning because she knew what had gone out, "this happened because several tireless individuals worked to make the voting and the information sharing and updating happen for the voters.

"That, Joss, and the maintenance and upkeep of the Kim Possible Forum: there have been over 7,000 posts to this forum alone in less than 15 months.

"We definitely have fans, Wade."

"Well, the KimRon shoppers have fans, and the KiGo shippers have fans," and Joss looked confused.

"Wade, I know what KimRon is, but what's KiGo?" and an embarrassed Wade leaned over and whispered the answer in Joss' ear.

AS he spoke, she turned redder and redder.

"Whoa, Nellie! That's too much information for me, Wade!"

"Well, you asked, Joss."

"You don't think they'll decide to go 'Boss' on Becky and me, do you?"

"I hope not, Joss," and he looked over at cpneb who was smiling.

"'neb-meister," and Joss uncoiled her whip again and smiled back at cpneb, "we'll talk about that after the show," and she grinned and cracked her whip with a loud POP!

Pharaoh Rutin Tutin was laughing and pointing at cpneb as he tried to hide behind a giggling Rebecca Jane, mainly giggling because of where he was holding her from behind: her waist, and she was ticklish.

"HEY! What's so hot about KiGo, nerd-linger?" a voice came from the audience, and the murmurs grew from the KiGo shippers as the camera zoomed in on Shego, glarong and beginning to ignite her hands.

"Well, Shego, it's certainly **way** more popular than RuGo," Wade smirked, and the audience roared as Shego, with the camera still on her, tried to crawl under the table.

A second camera cut to Ron Stoppable: Rufus ran out of Ron's pocket and received a hi-five from Ron, earning Ron both a glare and a kiss from Kim.

"Now, THAT'S FRRR-REAKY!" came from the back of the crowd, but the camera couldn't find the source of the statement.

Wade was leaning over and whispering something to Joss, them pointing to a grinning Pharaoh Rutin Tutin. Joss blushed and yelled 'SPANKIN!'" earning another round of laughs from the audience.

"Anyway, Wade," Joss' blush had faded a bit after the laughter died down, "we definitely have fans, and I'd like to thank them.

"There are lots of people to thank for one of the largest Kim Possible Forums on the Internet: Zaratan and captainkodak1.

"The Awards nomination and reporting process itself: Zaratan, Commander Argus (webmaster supreme), and the newest member of the awards group, Triaxx.

"The actual award ceremonies themselves: Zaratan and Mattb3671, that zany and crazy co-host. Godspeed, Mattb," Joss called as Mattb broke thru the curtains with a smile on his face as he made it back to the stage, looking not at all the worse for wear, followed by a smiling Nooni.

"You call Nooni, OK?" She asked sweetly. "Nooni **definitely** take your call, Mattb,' and she kissed his cheek, drawing blood to it as it turned red. Nooni trotted back off the stage and to her seat, singing.

"I think Matt's kinda cute," Joss said softly as she blushed. She held up her hand like a phone receiver and mouthed 'Call Me' to Matt, and he nodded in response, smiling.

"The common factor in all of these tasks, Joss," and Wade frowned as she tried to pick up Matt, "is Zaratan, or Jason Jones as he's more often known.

"Jason 'Zaratan' Jones: please come out, we have something for you," and the audience, coming to its feet, roared its approval, the KiGo and K/R shippers (as well as the small pocket of Jade, RonBon, and other shippers) all standing and applauding as Jason came to the stage, looking a bit shell-shocked, escorted by Tara and Rebecca Jane (who'd had untangled herself from cpneb and made it backstage.).

Kim and Betty left their seats and both joined Joss, Wade, and the rest onstage

Wade looked over at their table: Pharaoh Rutin Tutin was sitting there with a huge grin on his face, and cpneb, who had been frowning ever since Rebecca Jane had gone backstage, was now smiling like an idiot. He grinned at them, and then turned his attention to the guest of honor.

"Jason, you've worked your rear off for the past two years to make these awards a success as well as moderate the forum board, keeping it sane and an excellent location for these talented writers to exchange ideas and continue to produce these wonderful works.

"On behalf of Kim, Ron, Slim, Betty, Joss, myself, and far too many people to mention here, we'd like to publicly thank you for your tireless efforts.

"We'd like to present you with **_BlazeIt's_** first annual '**RACK UP **Another Great Production!' award.

"It's got my rack on it, Jason," Joss added. "Wade made the mold, personally," and she looked confused when Jason sputtered after her statement and the audience started laughing.

Joss thought for a moment as the laughter grew from the audience, and then she blushed hair-red

"NOT THAT RACK, JASON!" Joss shouted, still red as WadeBot came rolling out with the award in its hands to the laughs of the crowd.

Joss took the plaque with deer horns and two whips hanging from the lower sides of the plaque from the WadeBot, who turned and left the stage.

"With our thanks, Jason," and she handed him the plaque and kissed his cheek, and suddenly he was surrounded by Kim, Tara, Rebecca Jane, and Betty who all kissed his cheeks, as well, leaving Jason red in more ways than one.

They all stood behind Jason, now smiling as much as the ladies and Wade standing behind him, as he cleared his throat, still looking shocked.

Jason stood at the podium, simply bewildered at the attention. "Wow... I just have to say wow. I mean, I really didn't expect this. I am deeply honoured and touched by this award so much, that I just don't know what to say."

"I honestly didn't set out to do what you just listed off there, I just started writing because I found it a great way to relax and relieve a little stress. The other things, the forum, the Fannie Awards, those were just things that I thought could contribute in some small way, and I am glad that they have. But none of those would have even been possible without everyone else here. I guess that old movie saying is correct. If you build it, they will come. I'm just glad the people came!"

"I want to thank everyone first off. I mean, I wouldn't be writing at all if it wasn't for all the great feed-back. I mean, I'd probably just be sitting and watching TV or even dating if it wasn't for all of you."

This gets a few laughs from the audiance.

Jason picks up the award, looking at it closely. "I just... thank you so much everyone, for giving me this. I plan to cherish this forever." Jason wipes a small tear from his eye, smiling brightly.

"That's all we had, Jason; I hope that's enough for you, this year," Wade said as Betty and Kim went down the stage and back to their seats, Kim getting a glare from her dad.

"Thanks to everybody for how nice you treated me, this year. I'll be back, next year, and maybe Joss and I can win some awards!" Wade laughed as he left the stage with Tara, Rebecca Jane, and Joss.

Tara ran (as well as one can in stilettos) and grabbed Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, whispering something into his ear.

He promptly fell back into his seat with a huge grin on his face, and Tara climbed up into his lap and nibbled his ear.

"Have Mercy!" came from the audience, and the laughter came with the comment.

Matt and Triaxx just smile as Jason soaks in the cheers. "Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy."

Triaxx just nods. "Couldn't agree more."

Matt looks over at his partner, a mischievous grin on his face. "But you know what this means, don't you?"

"What?"

"Means a new award for me to win next year."

"You? What have you done?"

"I'm a co-host on the Fannie Awards. That's got to count for something."

Triaxx just chuckles softly. "Well folks, while my co-host suffers through delusions of grandeur, here's Finger Eleven with One Thing!"

_Restless tonight  
Cause I wasted the light  
Between both these times  
I drew a really thin line  
It's nothing I planned  
And not that I can  
But you should be mine  
Across that line _

If I traded it all  
If I gave it all away for one thing  
Just for one thing  
If I sorted it out  
If I knew all about this one thing  
Wouldn't that be something

I promise I might  
Not walk on by  
Maybe next time  
But not this time

Even though I know  
I don't wanna know  
Yeah I guess I know  
I just hate how it sounds

If I traded it all  
If I gave it all away for one thing  
Just for one thing  
If I sorted it out  
If I knew all about this one thing  
Wouldn't that be something

_If I traded it all  
If I gave it all away for one thing  
Just for one thing  
If I sorted it out  
If I knew all about this one thing  
Wouldn't that be something _

_  
Even though I know  
I don't wanna know  
Yeah I guess I know  
I just hate how it sounds _


	21. Best New Writer

"Jason, are you ever going to put that thing down?"

Jason just gave both Matt and Triaxx a look. "I can do this with the award in my hands."

Triaxx just moved forward, hands out in front to take the award away. "Come on, you can pick it back up after the show is over."

Jason clutched the award tightly to his chest. "Don't wanna."

Matt puts on a serious expression, which is almost comical in it's attempt. "Don't make me give you a time out."

Jason just gives him a look, but Triaxx takes that oppurtunity to spring, grabbing hold of the award. "Come on, this is for your own good."

Matt grabs hold as well, and the pair start dragging Jason to the back. Before they pass through the curtain though, Jason manages to speak. "Let's welcome our... uhg... next presenters, Captain Kodak and Shego!" With a final tug, Jason disappears through the curtain, and some minor scuffling is heard.

The Captain stood and pulled Shego's chair out for her to stand. Turning she took his arm as he presented it to her and they together walked up on stage. She looked slightly down at him and smiled as they walked up to the podium. Captainkodak1 pulled a small envelope from his tux, opened it and laid the piece of paper on the podium.

The Captain spoke first.

"Matty, Jason, Triaxx, thanks for that intro. Shego and I are pleased to chosen to present this award. I guess I am one of the "old men" of Kim Possible Fanfiction so it seems right for me to have a part in presenting this award. I am honored to have Shego as my partner tonight. She was sort of surprised when I called to ask her if I could escort her this evening. We had a little tete a tete awhile back about a certain story with Kim, Ron and the Muppets and a what a certain character was portrayed by. Kim was along with Shego that evening and we came to a certain if not painful agreement."

Shego grinned that evil grin that only she can make.

"Cap and I are here to present the award for the Best New Writer. This award is presented to an author that has started within the last year. Fanfiction authors all have to start sometime. It is a learning process to be able to produce and post quality work. These honorees tonight have shown exceptional skill in their beginning works."

Shego turned and patted Cap on the head.

"Too bad the Fannies were not around when you were coming up Cappie."

"That's okay Shego, there was one fannie that I admired anyway." Cap quipped.

Shego gave a little jump, looked behind her and then turned to glare at Cap. The Captain just smiled back. "Hmmm… smooth but firm. That is a fine one."

Shego turned and grabbed the piece of paper.

"The nominees are...

-------------------------------------

**Cpneb**

"Jocelyn Possible, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you ever since I saw you on the Kimmunicator. Please don't hate me. I don't know what to do about this. I don't know if you just like me or just like kissing me or really like me or what, but I have to tell you before I lose my mind. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up, and you're the last thing that I think about before I go to sleep. You've invaded my dreams, Jocelyn. You're in my mind more than particle physics, and I never knew that something could push it aside. I love you, Jocelyn. Please don't hate me. If you don't love me, I'll try to understand, but I don't know what I'll do with my heart now that it's tasted you. Maybe I can go become a monk. Please don't hate me, Jocelyn. I've never loved anyone like this before, not even Kim. You're so beautiful, Jocelyn, just like your name is beautiful. Kim's pretty, but you're beautiful. I love you, Joss. Please don't hate me."

I must have been talking a mile a minute.

Hey, if you're laughing with me, that's ok. If you're laughing at me, remember what you were like when you were 13 and normal, then try to imagine what it would be like to be 13 and a super-genius. I can out-design the top software architects and designers, I have one PhD and working on the second, but I've never had a date. I've never been in love, not like this, until now….

I had to tell her how I felt before I lost my mind.

**----------------------------------**

**King in Yellow**

Hunched over, still sometimes dragging his knuckles, the Englishman paced back and forth in front of the cage, muttering to himself as his mind weighed his options. To Kim and Ron, watching from behind the bars, it was almost as if Monty was the caged animal. Finally, having lulled the pair into relaxing for a minute through his routine, Monkey Fist quickly reached through the bars and grabbed Ron by the front of his uniform. He jerked the young man against the bars, his own face only inches from the face of his enemy, Monkey Fist demanded, "You have to help me!"

"Help you? What do you mean, dude?"

"She's ruining me! She said she would help me, but she's ruining me."

"Whoa, slow down. What's the problem?" Ron's voice had a sympathetic tone as he tried to discover what could reduce his enemy to this state.

Monty dropped Ron, and went back to his hunched pacing. "Well, as you know, my monkey ninjas are tremendous fighters, but let's face it…" His voice trailed off.

Kim finished the thought, "They never get more than two and a half feet tall or weigh more than about nineteen pounds. It takes several of them to bring down just about anyone."

"Exactly. Do you know how many monkey ninjas it would require to take over the world? And to remain in power? And do you know how long it takes to train my monkey ninja corps? When Amy found me she promised to improve my monkey ninjas if I let her stay. She would use her genetic zipper to join them with another creature…" His voice trailed off again.

"She didn't do it?"

"Oh, she fused some of my monkey ninja corps with Angora cats."

"So she's making them house pets?"

Monkey Fist stared at him with haggard eyes, "NO! The Angora monkey ninjas aren't any larger than my regular monkey ninjas, but they are a thousand times more evil. The fangs that bite, the claws that catch," he shuddered at the thought.

"Well, evil is good, right?" Ron asked.

"No," Monty whispered, "They won't listen to me. Have you ever tried to train a cat? What good is an army which won't listen to its general? They are as likely to tear me apart as my enemies!"

**------------------------------------------------------------**

**Molloy**

"Y-you care more about these stupid games then about our friendship! Then you do about me!"

"K-Kim, I," Ron said raising his hands and shaking his head.

"I haven't been here in over a week, Ron! And you didn't even notice, did you!"

Although she hadn't meant it as a question, Ron treated it as such. "A week?"

"Yes! An entire week! I'm your best friend and … and, oh, forget it!" She turned and stomped toward the door.

"Kim, please," he had gotten up and was trying to catch up with her.

"Don't say you're sorry, Ron!" she was running toward the door now.

Ron didn't know what to say but he had to say something, something to keep her from leaving, so he asked the obvious. "Where are you going?"

"HOME!" She screamed as she ran through the door and slammed it shut in his face.

She didn't even reach her bike before the noise reached her. Ron was crying. Even though he was still inside, even though she was a good twenty feet from his door, and even though she was still crying, she heard him.

I don't care. He is such a jerk. I DON'T care.

But she did.

Immediately, she recognized his cries. Since they were little kids, he had cried often over minor things. He had steadily gotten better at controlling his emotions, and Kim had noticed that in the past year Ron had only cried during action films. As much as it had always pained her whenever her best friend cried, only once had it broken her heart—when they were six and she had skinned her knee. He was crying just like that now.

She ran as fast she could through the Stoppables' yard, threw open the door and looked desperately around for her best friend.

"Ron?"

From the doorway Kim could see him in the living room jumping up and down. She walked quietly into the room. He was smashing a game under the heel of his shoe.

"Ron! Please stop!"

At the sound of her voice, Ron stopped, turned to face her, and collapsed to his knees in tears. She ran to him and fell to her knees. They embraced each other tightly.

They stayed that way for several minutes.

Days later Kim offered to pay to replace the new game Ron had smashed. She had just started baby-sitting and could afford it. Ron would not hear of it. Other than that, they never spoke about what happened again. They didn't even say they were sorry for what each had done to the other.

They didn't have to.

They were alone in the house, so there were no witnesses. It had nothing to do with like liking each other. No words were passed. Yet as they kneeled on the carpet, hugging each other tightly and crying, Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable silently pledged their love for each other.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"And the winner is... A TIE? **King in Yellow and Cpneb!"**

"YEE-HAW!"

The yell came from Joss, who jumped up and hugged Wade.

There was a moment of confusion after the names were read. As a new writer this was KiY's and Cpneb's first Fannie presentation and no one was sure what they looked like. The confusion gave way to a silence so profound you could hear a frog drop, literally, as a young girl arose from one side table and went to the podium. (Exactly why Pharaoh Rutin Tutin had chosen to have his business cards tattooed onto live frogs remains somehow obscure. He insisted it represented a pneumonic association: Pharaoh and plague of frogs. The two most obvious consequences to his actions were to make if very difficult for him to carry around business cards and to earn the wrath of the SPCA, who were picketing the awards ceremony from across the street.) At the rabid K/R-shippers table, identifiable by the foam around their jaws, there was hesitation about whether or not to use the rotten fruit they had brought on the off-chance of a KiY win.

Cpneb also rose, watching in surprise the young woman who hesitantly approached the stage with him.

From the other side of the room, an African-American gentlemen with curly salt-and-pepper hair stood, took his cane in his left hand, and offered his right hand to Tara, sitting next to him. She smiled and took it, coming to her feet and revealing the long slit in her dress, showing the fishnet stockings (that she had worn on request of one of the other writers), and the beautiful dark-red halter dress that showed much more than Mr. Barkin would have allowed at the school. He then handed his cane to Tara and offered his left hand to Rebecca Jane, who smiled and took it as she stood.

He crooked his arms, and Tara took his right arm and Rebecca Jane took his left, and they all went to the stage with him, followed closely by Wade and Joss, grinning like a winner.

The entourage reached the stage, and cpneb shook the hands of CaptainKodak and hugged Shego and the three ladies and Wade all stood on each side of cpneb.

In that moment of hesitation the young woman reached the podium. Cpneb motioned for her to take the microphone first, smiling all the while. She raised her arms in the air and shouted, "Yes! I win! Worship me! Bawahahaha!"

"Uh, who are you?" asked CaptainKodak.

"King in Yellow."

"But your profile says you're a middle-aged man. How old are you?"

"I'm twelve."

"You look older than that."

"I'm big for my age. Want to see my passport?"

At his table Beeftony snapped his fingers sadly. She looked older than that.

CaptainKodak tried in vain to regain control of the situation. "Uh, why do you describe yourself the way you do on your profile?"

"Well, Mom and Dad were afraid that I'd get creepy guys trying to hit on me if I gave real information about me on line. So I just invented a middle-aged academic so I could go to chat rooms for college professors and get treated with some respect."

She pulled a small piece of paper from her pocket and consulted it. "I would like to add a special note of thanks to cbnep, a gentleman, who is, in everyway, equally deserving of this award. I regret we can not share it."

"That's cpneb," Cpneb whispered to her. "And we are sharing the award."

"Sorry," she giggled, "I can't read my own handwriting, and I didn't really think we'd be sharing this."

"Oh, I don't have a name for it yet, and don't know what I'll call myself. But if I can talk my mom and dad into getting me a good graphics program I hope to get a webcomic on-line.

"Can I ask who that is you are sitting beside?" CaptainKodak asked. "Is that your grandfather? He seems to be in very good shape for a man his age."

"It's my dad. He works out in the gym several times a week. He decided to skip the disastrous first marriage and wait for the trophy wife."

"Anyway, what I'd really like to do is thank readers, and even more thanks to reviewers. You encourage me tremendously -- especially that handful of you who really do it. Thanks to those who voted for me also. I mean, wow, I made it to the top of the most mentioned category. I'm, like, the only new writer there. Everyone else has been doing this for like three times longer than I've been around. I just hope you continue to enjoy the stories from King in Yellow. And I'd like to thank my mom's lesbian friends from law school. Especially the one who got me an iPod for my bat mitzvah."

She stepped back, and let Cpneb up to the microphone, smiling all the while as she clutched the Ruffie to her.

"To the voters, my readers, and reviewers: Thank you.. After only being here for 5 months, this is a dream come true: to be recognized like this by my peers.

"To the others finalist, Molloy and my co-winner King in Yellow: You are all winners, and I am honored to be in your company. I hope that we will continue in the tradition of the Fannies.

"Without the faith that Wade and Joss had in me, I could never have told their story. Thank you, to both of you. I love you two," and Joss leaned over and kissed cpneb on the cheek, and Wade slapped him on the back, whispering "way to go, big guy!"

"For those of you who help Stephanie's brothers and sisters, and for those of you that go into harm's way where I cannot go but can only write to support you: Thank you; I write for you, as well as the little ones.

"Wade had something to say; Wade?" and cpneb handed the award to Wade, who took the Ruffie, held it high, and yelled, with a huge grin on his face:

"THIS IS FOR STEPHANIE!"

And cpneb bowed, took his cane, and the group left the stage, with Tara smiling at the presenters who were still leering at her dress and legs.

King in Yellow also left the podium to return to her seat. Her father gave her a high five before she sat down, then took the Golden Ruffie to look it over.

She turned to her dad, "Why can't I read the stories? Mommy lets me watch TV shows about transgendered people."

"Life isn't fair, dear. And you still can't read the stories."

The trio return from the back, and Jason appears sullen. "I would have put it down eventually."

Triaxx just ignored him, returning attention to the show. "So, our first tie of the evening. What do you think our chances are of anouther?"

Matt shrugged. "Not sure. There was only one last year, hard to figure on there being two ties this year, exspecially with the categories remaining."

"Still, you were part of a tie last year. What was that like?"

Matt gave a frown, glaring at Jason. "He kept hogging the Ruffie."

Triaxx, sensing a bit of tension, decides to proceed. "Anyways, let's welcome our next performer, Amanda Marshall, with I Will Believe In You!"

_Somewhere there's a river  
Looking for a stream  
Somewhere there's a dreamer  
Looking for a dream  
Somewhere there's a drifter  
Trying to find his way  
Somewhere someone's waiting  
To hear somebody say _

I believe in you  
I can't even count the ways that  
I believe in you  
And all i want to do is help you to  
Believe in you

Somewhere there's an angel  
Trying to earn his wings  
Somewhere there's a silent voice  
Learning how to sing  
Some of us can't move ahead  
We're paralyzed with fear  
And everybody's listening  
'cause we all need to hear

_I believe in you  
I can't even count the ways that  
I believe in you  
And all i want to do is help you to  
Believe in you _

I will hold you up  
I will help you stand  
I will comfort you when you need a friend  
I will be the voice that's calling out

I believe in you  
I can't even count the ways that  
I believe in you  
And all i want to do is show you  
I believe in you  
And there are just so many ways that  
I believe in you  
Baby, what else can i do but believe in you - believe in you  
All i want to know is you believe - believe in you


	22. Best Series

Triaxx grinned as they returned to the stage. "Now you two are going to behave, right? After all, we only have a few more to go here."

Matt just frowned in response. He still hogged it last year."

"Do I need to call Nooni back?"

Both Jason and Matt shook their heads vehemently at that.

"Well then, let's introduce our next presenters, Nidoking and Dr. Vivian Porter."

Nidoking walks up to the podium with Dr. Porter on his arm, smiling. "I don't have much to say, so I'd better get on with it. Best Series is an award that encapsulates the pinnacle of long-running stories. The continuity they create is something to be looked upon with respect. It takes a great author to craft an entire universe for their characters, and to keep them in it throughout the series. Especially in the more _alternate_ realities." He says proudly. The roboticist stands to the side, but continues beaming at the crowd.

Nidoking steps closer to the mic. "The nominees in this category are those great writers. The elite few that rise head-and-shoulders above the rest to establish a fantastic world. They have proven that they have what it takes to create a work of true literary art. Dr. Vivian Porter and I are proud to present this award that represents true writing skill. And the nominees-- Wait... I actually finished my speech before something went wrong!" BOOM! Nidoking slaps his forehead and drags the hand down his face in defeat "I spoke too soon..."

"YES! You have spoken too soon, because I, Aviarius, am here to exact my revenge!!" comes the yell from the hole in the ceiling.

"Who told this looney about this?!" A certain green villaness shouted. "Isn't this show stupid enough that we don't need HIM?" she says as she jerks her thumb over her shoulder at the intruding bird-themed bad guy.

"I might have posted something online about it..." Nidoking sheepishly mumbles. Shego stalks up to him and growls, "As soon as this idiot is gone, you are SO mine."

Nidoking gulps and hurriedly backs up as Shego drops into a combat stance a few feet away away and yells, "Hey, birdbrain! You wanna come over here and try, or should I come up there after your sorry butt?" She lights her fists with plasma and leaps at Aviarius. He tries to dodge the lunge, but Shego grabs his ankle and drags him to the ground. As onlookers cringe, the beating begins.

The winged villan tries to assume a fighting position, with his fists held weakly in front of his face, but Shego takes a bead on his right knee with hers. She sharply kicks it sideways, and he spins and falls. "Oh, get up. It's not even sprained," Shego groans. You come to 'wreak havok' and 'take revenge on me' but you don't even bring any birds or any kind of weapon? You've become a joke." She powers down and walks away, speaking inaudibly to a security guard and pointing to the prone villan. The guard handcuffs him and drags him off.

Shego glares at Nidoking, who gulps again and backs up a few steps, before turning and breaking into a dead run. Shego growls and takes off after him backstage. Dr. Porter walks up to the podium. "Well, while Nidoking is gone, I guess we can announce the nominees..." "Wait!" Nidoking's voice comes from the other side of the curtain as he limps onstage. "I think I lost her. For the moment..." He says, hobbling over to the mic. "And--" he winces, "the nominees are..."

--------------------------------------

**Best Enemies - King in Yellow**

With real money involved Ron got out his secret weapon, a pair of mirrored sunglasses. Shego was already in a white shirt with a dark vest for the occasion, and pulled on a dark green visor. Will had worn a ten-gallon Stetson, which looked so ridiculous on him that Monique took it off his head and put it on her own. On Monique it looked cute.

"What do the colors mean?" Monique asked as they gave her a pile of chips.

"The whites are ones, the reds are five, and the blues are ten."

"One, five, and ten what?"

"Just write in at the bottom of the piece of paper where you have what beats what listed."

Shego cut the right of first deal. As she was shuffling Will took out his second weapon, a cigar, and offered another one to the dealer.

Shego dealt the hole cards before lighting her own, and Will's cigars with a plasma flame.

"I didn't know either of you smoked," Ron observed.

"I think it adds to the atmosphere of a poker game," Will explained.

"It does do that," Monique coughed.

"I don't smoke as a regular thing -- unless I'm on fire," Shego said, "but I've picked up some filthy habits over the years."

Kim looked at her hole cards, "This filthy habit raises ten."

"Bets ten, Kim. You can't raise unless someone else has bet first."

"Well, no one had picked me up in a long time, " Bonnie complained. "I fold."

"Will was certainly trying to pick you up," Shego reminded her.

"WILL!"

"Not your Will, Monique, my brother Will."

"Uh, I'm not Monique's Will."

"Oh, yes you are dear. Are you the only one here who doesn't know that?"

**----------------------------------------------**

**Bonnie's Curse - Zaratan**

Bonnie just laughed as Ron flexed his muscles in front of her, striking a number of poses, each one eliciting a new peal of giggles. When he finally sat down, a smile on his face, Bonnie began to settle down.

Wiping a tear from her eye, one hand holding her stomach, she just looked over at him. "I swear, you just had fun on this mission, didn't you?"

Ron sat back grinning. "Hey, this guy was as basic and as amateur as they come. But I guess Wade was right, there are people starting to step up to fill the gap left by Monkey Fist and Drakken. I just thought they'd be more, you know… more than that!"

"And it helped the all El Tigre Diablo wanted was a shot at the GWA. Of course, if he can't beat you, what chance would he have?"

Ron looked hurt for a moment, before a smile crept back onto his expression. "Hey, I'll have you know, I am the wrestling master!"

"You body slammed him through a table!"

Ron shrugged, his smile widening. "Hey, it always works on the pay-per-views! Besides, it felt good to get back into the ring."

The Kimmunicator beeped, and Ron scooped the device from his pocket, activating it. "What's the sitch Wade. Any problems with arresting El Tigre?"

Wade had a wide grin on his face, and appeared to be throwing a couple things into a bag. "Nope. Ron, I hope you're sitting for this. Kim's awake!"

Bonnie rushed over to Ron's side, grabbing the Kimmunicator in one hand, pulling it towards her. "Are you serious?"

The young man just nodded. "Yup! I'm just grabbing a few things, then I'm giving her parents a call, in case they haven't heard yet, and I'll meet you there. My mom is giving me a ride there once she gets dressed."

Bonnie just nodded her head emphatically. "Yeah… yeah, we'll see you there!"

She turned off the Kimmunicator, and turned back to Ron, more excited than she could have believed. "Ron, can you believe it?"

Ron sat there unmoving, not even blinking, his hand still shaped as if he had been holding the Kimmunicator. "It… it has to be a dream…"

Bonnie looked at him worriedly, placing one hand on his arm. "Ron?"

Ron shook his head slightly, his expression unchanging. "It has to be a dream…"

"Ron, it's not a dream, Kim's awake!"

Ron jumped quickly to his feet, and ran to the cockpit of the plane. Bonnie followed right behind, concerned for the way her friend was handling it. He was already speaking with the pilot when she got up there.

"… bring us over Middleton Hospital?"

The air force lieutenant nodded. "We'll be over there in three minutes at top speed. Get ready to jump!"

Ron headed back to the cargo area of the plane, his expression unchanging, as he grabbed his parachute. Bonnie followed suit, keeping her eyes on him the entire time. "Ron? Are you okay? Aren't you happy?"

Ron's hand went to his temple, rubbing it as if fighting off a headache. "Not going to believe it, not till I see her."

Bonnie placed a hand on his shoulder, but he still couldn't look at her. "Ron, she's awake. Wade wouldn't lie about something like that!"

Ron just stood by the door, not saying anything. Bonnie let him think to himself a minute, until the co-pilot stuck his head out the cockpit door. "Jump in ten seconds! Good luck!"

Ron slid the door open, allowing the wind to buffet him, yet he never yielded at the doorway of the plane like he usually did. Bonnie counted the seconds off in her head, and she had hit nine when Ron jumped out. Bonnie dove after him, and she could make out the hospital on the ground below. She waited for Ron to open his chute, as the ground slowly came up to meet them, but he didn't pull when he usually would. Instead, he straightened out, picking up even more speed as he aimed himself toward the building. Bonnie began to grow worried, but knew that he knew what he was doing. She pulled her own chute, and watched, as Ron pulled his no more than a couple hundred feet above the hospital. Before she could even get close, he had yanked the straps off his chute, dropping the last ten feet to the roof and landed on his feet. Before his chute had even made contact with the roof, he was at the door and heading in.

Bonnie landed on the roof, and struggled out of the straps, as she knew she had to catch up with him. She didn't know what was going through his mind at the moment, but she had to be there. Finally free of the pack, she rushed through the door, taking the steps two at a time, jumping off near the bottom of the stairs to save time. She could hear Ron below her on the stairs, making his way as rapidly down as he could. Kim was on the fourth floor, and Bonnie put everything she had into getting there as quickly as possible.

She almost passed right by the fourth floor entrance in her rush to get there, and braked quickly, wheeling on the door. Throwing it open, she took a moment to orient herself, and headed to the right, where Kim's room lay. When she rounded the corner, she found Ron standing in the doorway to Kim's room, completely motionless. Worried that it might actually have been a ploy to get at Ron, the way he was just standing there, she rushed over to him, and looked feverishly into the room.

Kim sat there on the bed with a half grin on her face, until she saw Bonnie. "Hey Bonnie. What are you doing here? And what's up with Ron here?"

Bonnie sighed with relief, and finally allowed herself to get her breath back. She looked over to Ron, and while he was as motionless as before, she could see the tears streaming down his cheeks, the faintest glimmer of a smile on his face. Bonnie gave him a small push from behind, and his feet continued to carry him towards her. When he reached the bed, he almost collapsed on top of her, and his sobs became audible.

"Oh God… Kim… I…"

Kim, almost in shock, wrapped her arms around him, and held him as he cried into her shoulder. "It's all right Ron. I'm okay… I'm okay…"

**--------------------------------------------------**

**Trinity Sitch - Commander Argus**

Ducking behind her changing screen, just in case Ron was secretly awake, she shucked out of the knee-length shirt and put on the silk nighty she bought for their prom night. It was cool and light as air, though it was completely opaque. It was sexy because of what it suggested, not what it actually showed, though she still carefully folded the T and put it on the nightstand so she could slip it on quickly when her parents came knocking on the door in the morning.

Gently, she put her hands on Ron's cheeks. They were rough since he hadn't shaved since that morning. There was something almost funny about his boyish face feeling much more like a man's. May God let him still look that way, even when he's old and gray.

"Ronnie." She whispered.

"Come, on, Dad P, wanna sleep with Kim tonight." He mumbled, not quite waking up.

"Dad P?" Kim asked in a normal voice.

"Huh, wha?" He sat up, trying to get his bearings.

"Lie down, Baby. Looks like you're mine for tonight. So, what's this, you calling Dad, Dad P now?"

"Oh, did I say that? Sorry, KP, I've just been thinking about what I'm going to call him when we get married. Your Mom too."

Kim pulled back the covers and helped him get under them before climbing in with him.

"I could get used to this." He whispered as she snuggled up next to him.

"Don't push your luck. Mom probably dragged Dad to bed early before he realized you're still up here."

"Er. Think maybe I should go on down to my room?" He sat up slightly until she pulled him back down, wrapping her arm around him and pulling him in for a long kiss.

"Already said you're mine tonight. Even if Daddy comes up here right now I'm just going to tell him no. I want my birthday present."

"Y…you do?"

She kissed him again, pulling the full length of her body up against his. "I want you, all night long." She purred before pushing her lips forcefully back onto his.

"KP, I don't know…" He stuttered slightly as her hands glided over his bare chest.

"Relax, Honey. I mean that I just want to hold you all night for my birthday. We're not going to do that in here…much as I'd like to." She whispered the last as a bare breath in his ear. Resting her head on half of his pillow, she looked him right in the eyes.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" She asked, brushing strands of blonde hair away from his eyes.

**---------------------------------------------------**

**Walking the Line - Starving Lunatic**

Shego only rolled her eyes. She wanted to get rid of the annoying brat. If she wanted to live with a teenager, she would have stayed home, she silently commented to herself. She tried to think of something to say to the girl that would get the bum to leave and then she got an idea.

"Hey, kid," Shego said.

"Yes?" the redhead answered.

"How'd you like to stay here?"

"Stay here?" the younger woman echoed.

"As my pet," Shego added smoothly, like it was a normal thing to offer.

"Stay here as your pet?" the redhead said with a rather dubious expression gracing her smooth features.

Shego thought that she had the girl. Surely, the redhead would be more than insulted by such a suggestion. She would probably lose her temper and storm out while declaring that Shego was a very sick woman. She would be rid of the stupid kid and then she could move on with her life.

------------------------------------------------

"And the winner is... **Trinity Sitch - Commander Argus!"**

Commander Argus rose from his seat, waving to the crowd. When he reaches the podium, he pauses, looking out over the crowd.

"It's kind of funny, I've been writing about the Trinity and Jimmy Argus for the better part of three decades now, but I've never quite gotten the response from that as I have from what started out as a simple idea of merging the two worlds by having Shego and Dona Argus be cross-dimensional doppelgangers…"

crickets

"Uh, eh, heh."

"How bout Kim and Ron? Don't they make such a great couple. Kim and Ron, it's fundamental!"

half the room cheers, the other stares at the podium

"Anyway, thanks, you're beautiful, try the veal. It's kosher…I think. (whoops, I guess I probably offended the real Jews again.)"

The trio return, and Jason does not look happy. "See, he said something, and something happened."

Matt was almost vehement in his reply. "Oh come on, I already said I wasn't going to say anything. At least Shego took care of it quickly."

Triaxx was now trying to mediate between them. "Guys, it's over now, settle down. Let's just bring out our next performer. Here's Nickleback with Hero!"

_I am so high, I can feel heaven.  
I am so high, I can hear heaven.  
Oh but heaven, no heaven don't hear me. _

And they say that a hero could save us.  
I'm not gonna stand here and wait.  
I'll hold on to the wings of the eagles.  
Watch as we all fly away.

Someone told me love would all save us.  
But how can that be?  
Look what love gave us.  
A world full of killing, and blood-spilling, that  
world never came.

And they say that a hero could save us.  
I'm not gonna stand here and wait.  
I'll hold on to the wings of the eagles.  
Watch as we all fly away.

Now that the world isn't ending, it's love that I'm sending to you.  
It isn't the love of a hero, that's why I fear it won't do.

And they say that a hero could save us.  
I'm not gonna stand here and wait.  
I'll hold on to the wings of the eagles.  
Watch as we all fly away.

And they're watching us (Watching us)  
Watching as we all fly away.  
And they're watching us (Watching us)  
Watching as we all fly away.  
And they're watching us (Watching us)  
Watching as we all fly away.


	23. Most Voted Writer

The trio returned all smiles for once. Jason actually looked relieved. "The show is almost over, the show is almost over..."

Triaxx leaned into Matt questioningly. "You think that's helping him?"

"I hope so. I'd hate to think his mind was completely gone. Wouldn't doubt it though."

Triaxx nodded, stepping forward. "We have a new category this year, one that was requested by the fans."

Matt took a spot beside him. "So many times, people wondered about who had the most votes, and how things broke down."

It was Jason's turn now. "Show's almost over... show's almost over... hehehehe..."

Matt and Triaxx glance worridly at each other before Matt continues. "Uhh... let's welcome our next presenters, for Most Voted Writer, Classic Cowboy and the... umm... Junior Birds of Prey."

"Howdy!" Classic Cowboy says as he steps up to the podium. "I'm honored to be here with the Birds of Prey, Dinah Mankey, Helena Rockwaller-Flagg, and Barbara Gordon," the Girls wave happily. "…to present the Most Voted Writer Fannie."

"You mean Classic Cowboy Syndrome Fannie, Mr. Cowboy Sir?" Dinah piped in only to have her mouth clamped shut by Barbara and Helena's hands, while the two smiled innocently up at the Cowboy.

The Cowboy's eye twitched twice. "As I was saying … the Most Voted Writer Fannie…"

The girls clear their throat loudly.

"And the nominees are…"

The girls clear their throat even louder.

"Oh for Pete's sake …" Classic Cowboy rolls his eyes and turns to the girls. "Please tell me you weren't serious about that stupid song…"

"Ahuh we were serious Mr. Cowboy Sir," Dinah nods furiously while Helena and Barbara folds their arms.

"And it's not stupid," Helena snaps then sticks out her tongue.

"Ok … whatever, get it over with …" The Cowboy sighs as the girls giggle and skip to the stage.

"Ready girls?" Helena asks as the music starts to play.

(cue music)

Barbara: If you write too much

Dinah: And you post a bunch

Helena: It's really no good

Barbara: You should have known where you stood

Dinah: Someone will come

Helena: With just one little one

Barbara: Oh look what they've done

Barbara: You're about to get shunned …

Unison: Yeah, you got a fan base

Barbara: But it's split five ways

Dinah: But they've got just one

Helena: And you lose the run

Unison: Cause you got the Classic …Cowboy … Syndrome!

Unison: SING IT WITH US!

Everybody in Audience: Yeah you got a fan base

Everybody in Audience: But it's split five ways

Classic Cowboy: (Grumbling) And Mr. Dr. P shows up with his freakin too good for his own good Star Trek cross dang him!

Barbara: C.C., follow the Metronome

Unison: Cause ya got the Classic … Cowboy … SYNDROME!

Helena: I SAID YOU GOT THE CLASSIC!!!! COWBOY!!! SYNDROME!!!!!!!!!!!

Helena drops to her knees and Barbara throws a cape over her shoulders. Helena jumps back to her feet. "OH YEAH! I FEEL GOOD, THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT!" The girls strike a pose as the music ends.

Classic Cowboy flinches repeatedly before handing the girls sheets of paper. "And the Birds will read off the nominees …"

----------------------------------------------

**CaptainKodak1**

"KAPOW!"

There was a small explosion on one of the power exchange panels. A power surge flew through all of the equipment. Sparks flew. Smoke spewed forth and filled the room. The tunnel started to glow bright blue. Kim and Ron felt something tugging on them, drawing them toward the tunnel. Kim grabbed Ron's hand.

Dr. Possible's lab assistant checked her monitor.

"Dr. Possible, the power spike hit the tunnel. The targeting computer has locked in on some date that was in the computer. It's …"

There was another power spike. Kim and Ron screamed as they were pulled off their feet. Kim drew her grappling gun and fired, embedding the spikes into the far wall. The two teens held onto each other as they floated in air near the entrance of the tunnel.

Dr. Eng yelled.

"Dr. Possible, the spike has created a gravity well! It is pulling everything into the tunnel!"

"Emergency shut down!" yelled Dr. Possible.

As Dr. Eng moved to the shut down switch there was a final power spike. Bolts of pure blue energy came from the tunnel, enveloping Kim and Ron.

"Kimmie!" Dr. Possible screamed.

The cable of the grapple snapped as the lights went out. Everything was quiet. Then the lights slowly came back on. Mr. Possible started looking for his daughter and her boyfriend.

"Kim? Ron? Are you two okay?"

There was little sound except for the snapping and popping of burnt circuits and the humming of the equipment.

Dr. Eng faced his colleague. "They were sucked into the tunnel!"

"What? Where? When?"

Dr. Eng typed on the computer and the screen on the wall displayed a date and location.

"Oh, no!" Dr. Possible exclaimed.

"Is there any way we can call them back?"

Dr. Eng shook his head

**-----------------------------------------------**

**Commander Argus**

"I don't know if I could do that." Ron said as they followed the wide green stripe into the indicated corridor. They noted different colored stripes leading off in other directions.

"Do what, honey?" She winced slightly. Normally she didn't use pet names with Ron when they were on a mission, but there was a lot on her mind, not the least of which was the discussion she was going to have with him when they got back home. Twice during the flight he pressed her to talk about it, but she refused, saying it was something they had to deal with when they were on their own time. He finally relented, though she knew her reticence was bothering him, especially since one of the biggest things that caused their fight the night before was his not telling her what was on his mind for so long.

"Sit on my butt all day long just answering the phone and telling people where to go."

She smiled slightly. "How different is it sitting on the couch for hours just playing video games?"

"Hey, I don't play them that much any more. Don't really have time."

"You make enough time. Now, I need you focused. I don't want a repeat of the last time we were in Cyrus Bortel's lab."

"How was I supposed to know he was working on a ray that would simulate the effects of caffeine on the brain?" He pleaded.

"I so do not want you sitting up awake for three days straight with black circles under your eyes because you've got the jitters."

"You sure that just wasn't the coffee of yours I drank by accident?"

**----------------------------------------**

**King in Yellow**

"Why is it everyone is allowed to pick on white guys?" Will complained.

"I think that's obvious," Shego told him. "You've been running the world for what, two thousand years?" She looked over at Monique, who nodded 'yes'. "And this is the best you can do? Time to let women run the place."

"Women and people of color," Monique added. She grinned at Shego, "I'll take green as a person of color."

**----------------------------------------**

**MrDrP**

Ron and Kim stood by the door. He was wearing his coat and Rufus, who had consumed far too much eggnog, was asleep and snoring in his pocket. "Thanks for having me over, KP. This was badical."

"Thanks for coming," she said. "And thanks for the mall," she added as she embraced him.

"Hey, as my best friend likes to say, 'no big'," Ron replied as he returned the hug.

"So," she murmured, "I'm still your best friend?"

"Always have been, always will be," Ron said.

They stood in silence in the entry hall, holding one another. Finally, they broke the embrace.

"Well," he said. "I guess I should be going."

Ron turned to leave. As he opened the front door, Kim placed a hand on his shoulder. "Ron?"

"Yeah, KP?"

Kim took a deep breath. "You know, there's something I'd like for Christmas that wasn't under the tree."

"Yeah, what's that?"

"A date with my ex-BF," she said softly as she stared directly into his eyes.

"A date?" he asked. "As in a date date?"

"Yes, a date date," Kim said, plunging ahead. "Ron, I made a ferociously big mistake before I went to college. You were a wonderful BFBF …"

"Really?" Ron asked.

"… Yes, really," Kim replied. "I so wish I'd been smart enough to see that." She paused, then looked Ron directly in the eye, and began speaking at a staccato pace. "To be honest, I know this may seem like it's coming out of nowhere and I know it's been a really long time but I've actually been thinking a lot about you lately and being with you today reminded me of just how right it feels to be together so, if you're interested although I could understand why you wouldn't be but I hope you are, I'd like to give us a try again."

A moment passed before Ron responded. "You sure about this, KP? Sure, I'm a bon-diggity kisser, but I'm still not WGU material," he said, instantly regretting his flippant comment and wanting to kick himself.

Kim, recalling events of long ago, winced and closed her eyes. Then she took Ron's hands in hers. "So doesn't matter," she said with assurance.

"What does?" he asked.

She slipped her left hand from his right and rested her palm on his chest. "What's in here. I may have been an honor-roll student in high school, but I was so stupid when it came to what really counts. I could have had you and instead I wound up with Richard."

"Ah, but with Richard we got Mim," Ron said sagely and without irony.

"True," she said, pleased by Ron's use of 'we'.

"So, uh, getting back to the date thingy," Ron said, "what would you want to do?"

"I don't know," she said. "Go to Bueno Nacho and a movie, maybe?"

"With or without interruptions by villains?" he asked with a goofy smile.

"Most def without," Kim said, grinning. "Though I can think of worse things than fighting freaks with you by my side."

"Well, since it's Christmas, you should get what you want," Ron said. "A date it is. You want anything else before I go?"

Kim looked into Ron's eyes. Then she answered him. "Yes, actually, there is something else."

"Oh?" he asked.

"I'd also like some fireworks," Kim answered with a twinkle in her eye. Then, for the first time in many years, she brought her lips to Ron's, initiating a kiss that was brief and gentle but electric.

"Badical," Ron whispered when it was over.

"Yeah," Kim agreed. "Maybe we could try that a—"

She was cut off as Ron brought his lips back to hers. As he wrapped his arms around her slender waist, she brought her hands up to his neck and began running her fingers through his mop of straw-colored hair. She pulled him back into the foyer and he kicked the front door closed with his foot. Soon, he was planting small kisses along her jaw.

"This is where I say 'boo-yah', isn't it?" she asked breathily.

"Yeah," he said as he stroked her hair.

"Boo. Yah," she sighed, feeling contentment she'd not known in a very long time.

**---------------------------------------------**

**Starving Lunatic**

Shego was silent. Why would she not give the kid up, she asked herself. Maybe because she was not a rat, she mentally answered, but it was more to it than that. She knew that she was about to go through just about the worst torture of her life for the information her boss wanted, but she did not care. She would not give the kid up and she just could not explain that. Self-preservation usually overrode everything in her mind, but not now.

"Well, like they say in the movies, Shego, we have ways of making you talk," the one-eyed man commented.

"Do you worst, but remember, when I get out of this, your ass is mine," Shego replied.

Gemini smiled. "I don't think you'll be getting out of this one, especially with that collar in place. I mean, no more fire for the so-called fire-beast. So, this is your last chance. Tell me what I want to know now or you'll just tell me later."

Shego sat quiet for a moment and considered her next words carefully. "Fuck you," she stated in such a deliberate tone that it caused him to frown for a moment. She was not sure why she decided on those words, but she was going to stand by them.

"Fine, let's do this the fun way then," Gemini commented.

Shego did not say anything. She just stared at him with a hard look in her emerald eyes to let him know that she was not going to be broken for his amusement. She was not going to give him what he wanted if she could help it. She was going to get away one day and he was going to regret crossing her in such a manner.

---------------------------------------------------

"And the winner is, with 1023 total votes... **Starving Lunatic!"**

Starving Lunatic made her way to the podium. She had to catch her breath before anything else. And then she had to check her surroundings, making sure there were no crazy blondes with katanas or nutty half-Japanese guys with duct tape. Once she was certain that she was safe, she turned to address the audience.

"Okay, I think I have time to be a bit more specific in my thanks and to express how honored and freaking amazed I am to win. So, I wanna thank all my readers. I wanna thank anyone that's done fanart for any of my stories. I wanna thank my beta-readers, even though they're not helping me get away from two INSANE characters bent on my destruction. So, thank you everyone and goodbye for now. And if you don't hear from me, call the cops, call the army, just call someone to save me." Starving Lunatic then made a hasty retreat from view.

Matt just shook his head as Starving Lunatic fled the building. "Okay... I guess she wasn't as fine as I thought."

Triaxx just returned with a wry smile. "Told you so."

"Show's almost over... hehehe... show's almost over..."

Triaxx looked at Jason with concern. "Is he going to be all right?"

"Yeah, I just think his brain got a little fried. No worries though. Anyways, let's introduce our next performer, R. Kelly, with I Believe I Can Fly!"

_I used to think that I could not go on  
And life was nothing but an awful song  
But now I know the meaning of true love  
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms _

If I can see it, then I can do it  
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can fly  
I believe I can touch the sky  
I think about it every night and day  
Spread my wings and fly away  
I believe I can soar  
I see me running through that open door  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down  
Sometimes silence can seem so loud  
There are miracles in life I must achieve  
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh

If I can see it, then I can be it  
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

Hey, cuz I believe in me, oh

If I can see it, then I can do it  
If I just believe it, there's nothign to it

Hey, if I just spread my wings  
I can fly  
I can fly  
I can fly, hey  
If I just spread my wings  
I can fly  
Fly-eye-eye


	24. Best Writer

Triaxx glanced at Matt as he came from the back area. "Where's Jason?"

"I sedated him in the back. His giggling was starting to weird me out."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

The two looked out over the audiance, noticing not a single chuckle. "Umm... okay. Let's welcome our presenters for the Best Writer award, TexasDad and Bonnie Rockwaller!"

Bonnie and TexasDad strolled across the stage. Bonnie looked a bit put out while TexasDad just beamed.

"Great, what did I do to get stuck with this loser from Texas?" groused Bonnie.

Never breaking the smile, TexasDad leaned over and whispered into Bonnie's ear, "Have you ever heard about large hands and feet being reflective of other large things?"

Bonnie mumbled, "yeah, so?"

"Ms Rockwaller, these Larry Mahan's I'm wearing are size 13."

TexasDad straightened up and reached for the envelope.

Bonnie's eyes slowly widened as she realized the implications of TD's words. Brick had only worn size 12's …

TexasDad casually reached over and closed Bonnie's mouth.

Bonnie looked up at TexasDad, "You so can't be serious?"

"There are some things a man never kids about."

Bonnie smiled coquettishly at her co-presenter. "So TD, do you ever glisten?"

"Miss Bonnie, when you live in a state where it's 110 degrees in the shade, you glisten all the time."

Bonnie smiled, snuggled closer to TexasDad and said, "Let's get this over with." Then she frowned. "You don't have a date here, do you?"

"Nope."

"Good!"

"Aren't you here with Jason?"

"Who?"

"Jason 'Zaratan' Jones?"

"Oh, that guy from Canada. We're just friends," she said dismissively. "So are you flying out tonight or staying over?"

"I'm here for a couple more days, and it looks like I just filled my dance card."

Bonnie and TexasDad stared intensely into each other's eyes, oblivious of their surroundings, until there was an audible gurgle from off stage, bringing Bonnie and TD out of their moment.

"Um, what are we doing, oh, right, Best Writer."

TD handed the envelope to Bonnie. "The nominees for Best Writer are…"

-----------------------------------------------

**CaptainKodak1**

Kim opened the door to her room and stumbled in making a dive for her bed. Ron fell on the floor next to the bed. Both were laughing.

Kim rolled to her side her eyes moist from the tears of her laughter. "Oh god Ron, when I saw Shego I thought I would lose it. Did you see Bonnie's face when she smelled my breath? By the way, that stuff you got tastes awful. I know we had to drink a little to get the smell on us, but next time let's find something that tastes better."

Ron groaned on the floor. "I know, I always heard your dad talking to your mom about getting a little of the stuff once in awhile. I have to admire your dad. If he drinks that stuff he is a better man than I."

Both of them had a fit of giggles again.

Ron tried to stand but fell back. "KP I think I really am drunk."

Kim rolled over to look at him. "OH YOU big baby, come on, we both need a bath and need to eat." Kim bent over to help Ron up and ended up falling on top of him. Her suit had been unzipped way below her rib cage and his suit had been unzipped as far. Their faces blushed as a great deal of skin that was normally covered touched. Both of them stared into the other's eyes. Kim began to move forward, her lips parted.

"HIC!"

A tremendous hiccup hit her and almost bounced her off Ron.

Both of them started laughing and again and Kim's hiccups came one after another. Ron started with hiccups and they both started laughing again. Kim pushed herself off Ron and made her way to her shower. She stopped and turned to Ron and with a finger beckoned him to come.

"Uh KP, do you really…" he stammered.

"Ron, you will keep your boxers on and I will keep my panties and bra on. Right now, I want you with me. Then we can eat and makes some plans. Besides, we have some more making up to do."

Kim stretched out her hand for his. Ron took her hand as she pulled him into her bath. The door closed shutting out the light to the room; on the floor laid money and jewelry.

**------------------------------------------------**

**Commander Argus**

"What's wrong KP?"

"Nothing."

"Hey, don't try to play me Kim. I know something's bugging you. Lemme see." He walked a couple steps in front of her, looking back at her, examining her from head to toe.

"It's ferociously noticeable, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"You mean you can't see it?"

"Um, no? Can you give me a hint?"

Kim rolled her emerald eyes up into her head. If there was one male on the planet she could talk to about this, it was Ron. "It's a female thing."

"Oooooh, I get it. You finally started…you know."

"Uch. No Ron, that's been going on over a year now. It's something else."

"Okay, I'm stumped…wait, a year?"

"A year, Ron. Why do you think I wouldn't go to the pool with you for almost a week a couple times this summer?"

"Oh." He started walking backwards. Kim regarded him for a moment, but trudged on.

"Well, I guess if you can't tell, it's not so bad after all." She said, feeling a little relieved.

They walked a few minutes, Kim not noticing that Ron was falling a couple steps behind her. That was until…

SNAP!

"RON!" Kim shrieked as her back stung where he had snapped the main strap of her new bra…

…the one her mother had insisted she start wearing, whether she thought she needed it or not.

**-------------------------------------------------**

**Starving Lunatic**

He was not even smart enough to hold Kimberly in their sleep, Sheshona noted. They actually had almost an inch of visible space between them. Sheshona shook her head in disbelief. She could not believe that he was such an idiot as to not hold onto the doctor as if she was the most precious thing that he would ever come across in his life. If she shared a bed with Kimberly, there would never be any space between them. If she shared a bed with the doctor, the only way to tell where one stopped and the other began would have been the color difference. Another thing was that if she shared a bed with Kimberly, they would never go to sleep in clothes. It would not even be an option. Even if was cold, she would keep Kimberly warm. They would not need clothing, but that was not the case between the doctor and her husband. They were both covered from head to toe in pajamas. They looked ready to go outside in Sheshona's opinion more than they looked ready to be asleep for the night.

"His body language is all wrong for you, doc. He doesn't know how to treat you or what to do with you, but I do," Sheshona whispered as she leaned down and caressed Kimberly's cheek. She placed a lingering, but chaste kiss on the redhead's lips.

"Dearest one?" Kimberly said as her eyes fluttered open, but the room was empty. She could have sworn that Sheshona was there, kissing her, but it was apparent that she was wrong. "I suppose I was dreaming," she sighed. It would not have been the first time, so she left it at that and went back to sleep. Sheshona noticed the redhead go back to sleep from outside of the window. "Why should I let him have you?" Sheshona asked the air. It was like allowing a mouse to have a gold bar. What the hell was a mouse going to with gold? Nothing that she could think of and that was her justification to herself for what she was going to do next.

---------------------------------------------------

"And the winner is... **Commander Argus!"**

Commander Argus rises to the podium, smiling brightly. "I'd like to thank everyone who made this possible, but especially MrDrP for winning last year, making him ineligible this time around. I'll try to make this as brief as possible…"

MrDrP just smirks from his table. "Oh, something from CA that clocks in under 100K words?"

Bubbahotek just laughs. "Oh puh-lease. His longest is what, 160K?"

"Uh, right, anyway, I'm humbled that my little world…"

A random voice, unable to pick out from the crowd, sounds out. "Humbled? You're the one who bragged about hitting 1 million words in one of your own stories!"

Commander Argus just smirks, embarressed. "Well, I was proud of that. Well, the piano music is starting, try the veal…and Shego, I promise I'll have your daughter home at a respectable hour…not that you'd do something unthinkable if I didn't, that honor goes to my wife."

"Just one minute Commander."

Commander Argus pauses as he hears Matt behind him. He turns and sees Triaxx and Matt approaching the podium, holding a piece of artwork between them.

TexasDad just smiles. "Congratulations Commander, in addition to The Golden Rufie for Best Writer, we have a special award this year for this category." He places a hand on Commander Argus' shoulder, smiling all the while. "Commander Argus it is our great pleasure to present to you this piece of Original Kim Possible Production Art, direct from the Land of the Mouse."

Commander Argus just looks stunned as he takes the artwork from Matt and Jason, and then quickly shakes TexasDad's hand. With the artwork in hand, TexasDad and Bonnie slowly faded into the shadows, leaving the Commander in possession of the stage. "Thank you so much for this, this is simply incredible. I can't thank you enough for this."

Commander Argus finally leaves the stage, clutching his award and his artwork in either hand as he returns to his seat.

Matt is clapping aplong with the audiance. "Too bad Jason had to miss this."

Triaxx just nodded. Yeah, I know. He are the Commander are tight, aren't they?"

"Oh, not that, the part where Bonnie was hitting on TexasDad. I would have liked to have seen Jason blow his stack again. That was cool!"

Triaxx just gives Matt the eye, before turning back to the audiance. "Let's welcome our next performer, Bob Wills, with San Antonio Rose!"

_Deep within my heart lies a melody  
A song of old San Antone  
Where in dreams I live with a memory  
Beneath the stars all alone _

It was there I found beside the Alamo  
Enchantment strange as the blue up above  
A moonlit path that only she would know  
Still hears my broken song of love

Moon in all your splendor knows only my heart  
Call back my Rose Rose of San Antone  
Lips so sweet and tender like petals fallin' apart  
Speak once again of my love, my own

Broken song empty words I know  
Still live in my heart all alone  
And that moonlit pass beside the Alamo  
And Rose my Rose of San Antone

(instrumental)

Broken song empty words I know  
Still live in my heart all alone  
And that moonlit pass beside the Alamo  
And Rose my Rose of San Antone

And Rose my Rose of San Antone


	25. Best Story

Matt and Triaxx were smiling as they moved to the center of the stage. "We have finally come to the final award of the night. Isn't this exciting?"

"You know it Matt!" Triaxx was nodding while loking over the crowd. "Just one final award to go, the one for Best Story of the Year."

Matt was clapping now. "Let's welcome our final presenters for the evening... Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable!"

The crowd goes nuts as the pair move onto the stage arm in arm, smiling and waving the whole way there. When they reach the podium, they pause, smiling at the cheers. Finally, when the applause dies down, Kim leans into the microphone.

"It's hard to believe, isn't it Ron? Anouther whole year has come and gone already."

"Yeah, and we're still stuck in high school."

This earned a few chuckles before Kim spoke again. "But it's also a year of new proimise as well. Brand new episodes, of me and my BFBF together for a whole year. You have to admit, that's pretty big."

"Well... when you put it like that..."

Kim reached up, running her fingers across his jaw. "A whole year of you and me... together..."

Ron could only smile with a goofy grin. "Booyah..."

A loud but distinct cough is heard from the crowd, and both teens turn to the source of the sound, as Doctor Possible looks up at them. "Yes Roinald, a whole year of me keeping an eye on you."

Ron's eyes go wide. "Umm... KP..."

"Shhhh..."

Kim leans forward, her lips meeting his. At first, Ron struggles, knowing her dad is watching them (as well as a good chunk of North America), but finally gives in to the inevitable, meeting Kim's lips with equal fervor. When the teens part, Ron almost stunned.

Kim giggles softly, as she sees his reaction. "Anyways, the nominees for Best Story of the Year are..."

-----------------------------------------

**Alone Together - Failte200**

_NO TIME FOR THIS!_

Business! Shego picked a scalpel and lit her other hand, running it along the blade to sterilize it. How... how exactly does one cut through human flesh? She'd never seen it done, on tv or otherwise. Oh, she _could_ have – she'd seen whole libraries of surgical tapes in the medical library, but as with everything else, there was no _TIME_ to check it out. Did one saw? Did one push or pull? How deeply should one cut per pass? How many passes should there be? Her manual said to not to cut too deep, and to cut with the grain of the muscles. How was she supposed to know which way that was? And how deep was "too deep"? It didn't say anything about how many cuts she was allowed to make, either, or if one could go back and enlarge a cut once it was made if it was discovered that it wasn't big enough, or in the wrong place, or... or... or – the list went on. She examined the business-end of the scalpel. Okay, it looked like something you were supposed to pull. In fact, thinking about it, _pushing _made little sense, if you wanted to cut something smoothly. Ok. Now, how would she control the depth? How would she know -

_IT!_

Three incisions later, it was suddenly obvious that Shego had cut through the skin and muscles above Kim's intestines and was indeed into her abdominal cavity. She could pull the wound apart and _see_ them. She only hoped she hadn't so much as "nicked" anything down there, because nothing she'd read gave her any indication what a "nick" might look like, but almost everything hinted that it would be bad. Fucking medical manuals... they left out as much as they put in... but, they were all she had.

Now, according to the manual: retract the skin and seal-off the "bleeders". What the fuck is a bleeder?

She used the weight of several hemostats clamped to the muscle and skin to keep the cut open, an idea she'd got from a different book. It was soon obvious what "bleeders" were. Small veins she'd cut through were constantly draining blood into the wound. If this kept up, Kim could die of blood loss before Shego would be able to even _find _the appendix. She could clamp or she could suture, or she could "either use the cauterizer or litigator to permanently seal each bleeder". Shego had no idea what either of those devices looked like, let alone how to use it, but "cauterizing" she could at least guess about. She touched a plasma-encased finger to each bleeding vein, searing it shut.

The smoke smelled – as one might expect – like roasted meat. Shego had prepared herself mentally for the sight, the feel, the risk... everything but the smell. That hadn't occurred to her. She choked back the urge to throw up. Good thing, too, since her face was basically right over the opening into Kim's body –_ MASK! Goddammit! How could I forget... FUCK!_ Shego found and put on a surgical mask without taking the time to further berate herself, and then sterilized her hands again, feeling at least a little competent that she'd remembered to do that.

Okay. What have we got here... The cut was filled with blood from the bleeders, and Shego had to mop it up with what looked like the "cotton rounds" used to remove make-up – back in the World - but were now called "sponges" for some reason. Now she could at least see. Ah. There. Lumpy, pink, tubular, and the size she'd expected from the anatomy drawings. The cecum. The manual told her to reach in there, grab it, and pull it out of Kim's body.

Actually _pull it out of her body_. Even just reading it, she found it hard to believe that this was what "modern surgical procedure" actually said to do... Of course, there was that _other_ procedure, using something called a "laproscope", but that was just wishful thinking. An hour after she'd began the first incision, Shego lit up her right hand one more time, just to be sure it was sterile, and slipped her fingers into Kim's gut, wrapping her fingers around and below her patient's large intestine. It felt... strange, to say the least, to have her hand inside someone else's body. Kim was _hot_ inside for one thing. And wet and slippery for another.

"Uh... Uh... Uh.."

Apparently, it felt and looked strange to Kim, as well. Shego's knock-out had worn off _exactly_ at the wrong time, and Kim was conscious again, and staring at Shego's arm embedded up to the wrist in her belly.

**------------------------------------------**

**Honor Bound - Starving Lunatic**

Shego made her way into the district that the geisha lived in. She had to search a few houses before she found the one she was looking for; she blamed the dark for the mishap since things looked different late at night than in the early evening. Then she ran into a small problem by realizing the person that she was looking for probably did not sleep in her makeup, so how was she supposed to know the girl? But, that was easy, she told herself; she would be the one with red hair, doy. It might be hard for her to tell the red hair in the dark, but she always had a trump card if that was the case.

It did not take long for Shego to get where she wanted. She crept into the small, plain room and immediately noticed the two futons on the floor. The beds were empty, though. She was a little shocked when saw how the redhead and her roommate were sleeping. They sat up against opposite walls and as soon as she eased into the room a little more, they awoke.

Kim tackled Shego, which shocked her even more. Yori had a needle shuriken to Shego's throat the moment that she hit the floor. The pale green female silently cursed and wondered why the hell was a trained assassin like herself being taken down by some little musicians. It seemed unreal.

"Akako-chan, it's me," Shego said in a whisper to get them off of her. She was wearing her mask, but not her hat. She hissed a bit as she spoke because she was irked by what was happening.

"Yojimbo-san?" Kim asked in a low tone.

"Akako-chan?" Yori echoed. Was Kim really so close to that bodyguard?

"Could you let me up?" the emerald-eyed bodyguard requested. If they did not, she hated to think of what she was going to do them. Well, what she thought she was going to do to them. Obviously, they were not easy wins.

"Oh, sorry," Kim apologized and then she turned to Yori. "It's all right. He's not a threat."

Yori had figured that much out when the bodyguard called Kim "Akako-chan." The ebony-haired female tucked her shuriken back into the sleeve of her yukata. Kim ceased off of Shego and the green-skinned guard sat up. The bodyguard glanced at Yori, just to make sure that onyx-eyed flute player did not move.

**----------------------------------------------**

**The Darkness Within - GWA **

She'd fought villains and chased down criminals. She'd been turned mindlessly evil and then mind_fully_ evil. She'd handed GJ its head, and had hers handed to her by the man she loved. Yet not a one of those was able to get her down, for she was Kim Possible, the Girl Who Can Do Anything.

But having her Ron cry into her hair and sound so completely _broken_ was more than she could bear, and she felt her own tears start to flow as she turned around to face him. She wanted to tell him that it was all right, that it would all be okay, but somehow she couldn't find the words, and so she just draped her arms around him and pressed her forehead against his.

They stood there, and cried for each other and for what had been, and they lowered themselves down, until Ron sat on the floor with Kim curled up in his lap.

"I'm sorry, KP," he said a time later, when he'd finally mastered himself. "I'm sorry about everything..."

"Don't be," she whispered. "It wasn't _you_, Ron."

"I know, know, but that doesn't- I can still remember it, Kim. I _hit_ you. I _hurt_ you. I... I _wanted_ to hurt you. Just like-"

He stopped himself and turned away from her, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Just like what, Ron?" she asked gently.

"Just like you'd hurt me," he whispered reluctantly, after a long silence. She closed her eyes, and he felt her body quiver with a restrained sob.

"Oh, man... KP, I'm sorry. I-"

"You shouldn't be," she said, leaning her head back against his chest. "I'm the one who should be sorry."

"KP, you weren't yourself-"

"And neither were you, Ron, and that's the problem. Bortel only came after us because he knew we'd be a threat. All of this, Ron, the mind control, the fights, the hurt... he did all of that to us because we're supposed to be the heroes. Because we're the one's who get in the way of people like him, and so we had to be turned into something else. He won't be the last to try something like this, to put _us_ through something like this, not unless we just give up and quit.

"I'm not going to quit. Not now, and not ever. I won't, I _can't_, let them have even that much of a win."

"Of course you can't," Ron said with a grin. "You're _Kim Possible_: and she _doesn't _quit, after all, and that... that's one of the things I love about you." His voice grew quieter and gentler. "And if you won't quit, then I won't quit."

**-------------------------------------------------**

**Tunnel Vision - CaptainKodak1**

Kim's teeth were chattering uncontrollably as she moved closer to Ron. Their ice-incrusted clothing crunched as they tried to hold on to each other. Ron placed his arm around Kim and pulled her closer. He could barely hold on to her and the couch. He turned to face her as her green eyes shone in the darkness. He was rapidly losing feeling in his arms and legs. They both could barely keep their eyes open. They were not going to make it. If the Tunnel did not fire soon it would just be moving two dead bodies.

"Ron, please, give me a kiss." Kim whispered. "Just in case." Ron bent his head and brushed his lips against hers. Kim pressed her lips to his feeling what little warmth he had in his body. "I am so cold, I just want to be warm." She whispered. She nestled against him and closed her eyes. Ron laid his head on her cheek. His head started to swirl. He gripped Kim tightly as it felt like they were falling.

If any of the other people in the water had noticed the two teens clutching the couch they would have been surprised to see the two teens glow and disappear. The couch bobbed up and down and sank from sight.

Ron forced his eyes open to see lights flying by. It was the tunnel effect. The Tunnel Time effect had started. Wherever they were headed, he hoped that it was better then where they were. Kim murmured and held Ron closer. They would be okay, at least they were out of the water.

The two teens grunted as they landed in a puddle of mud. They rolled into some bushes and stopped. The heat of the sun bore down on them as smoke and dust filled their noses and mouths. A roaring thunder came to their ears. The humid air seemed to stick to them. They opened their eyes and ducked as a group of men in grey uniforms leaped over them. An explosion shook the earth and dirt cascaded on top of them. Another group of men in grey stood in a line before them. The group as one raised their rifles and fired a volley. Then with a screaming "Yeeeehahhhh", they charged into the smoke.

Kim shook the mud and dirt from her hair as she choked on the smoke. "I said I wanted to be warm but this is ridiculous."

-----------------------------------------------------

"And the winner is... **Alone Together - Failte200!"**

Failte looks surprised as he approaches the podium again. "You gotta be kidding me - Best Story? Bah. C'mon now... "

"Okay, okay, I'll take the stupid statue..." Failte reached for the statue, and Ron almost dropped it handing it to him. "HEY! Be careful with that! Geez! Now look - you got finger-prints all over it! (Whips out disposable Pledge wipe). Uh... not that it's important or anything..."

"So... you people are saying that it actually shows when one "works" on a fic? Damn. I guess I should reconsider some things, then... "

"But Thanks. Really. Except now I'll have to "work" even more... Sigh."

Matt and Triaxx look at Failte with some confusion. Finally, Triaxx applauds politely. "Short and umm... sweet."

Matt shakes his head. "I never would settle for that short a speech. Anyways, let's get to our final performer for the evening... here's Queen, with We Are the Champions!"

_I've paid my dues, time after time  
I've done my sentence, but committed no crime  
And bad mistakes, I've made a few  
I've had my share, sand kicked in my face  
But I've come through _

And I need to go on and on and on and on  
We are the champions, my friend  
And we'll keep on fighting till the end  
We are the champions, We are the champions  
No time for losers 'cos we are the champions of the world

I've taken my bows, and my curtain calls  
You've bought me fame and fortune  
And everything that goes with it... I thank you all  
But it's been no bed of roses, no pleasure cruise  
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race  
And I ain't gonna lose

And I need to go on and on and on and on  
We are the champions, my friend  
And we'll keep on fighting till the end  
We are the champions, We are the champions  
No time for losers 'cos we are the champions of the world

We are the champions, my friend  
And we'll keep on fighting till the end  
We are the champions, We are the champions  
No time for losers, 'cos we are the champions


	26. Conclusion

Matt and Triaxx wheel Jason out, tied up and half conscious in an office chair.

"Well folks, that's the show. I hope you enjoyed our presentation of the 2nd Annual Fannie Awards!"

"We'd like to thank everyone for taking part, and hope you'll join us for next year's show." Triaxx leans down to talk with Jason. "Jason, do you want to say some parting words?"

Jason's head rises up, his eyes unfocused. "Hrrr... Fannie... almost over... hehehe..."

Matt just looks over at the crowd sheepishly. "What he means to say is, from Mattb3671, Triaxx, Commander Argus, and himself, we'd like to thank you all, and have a great night!

-------------------------------------------------------------

**Thank You**

I'd like to thank all the following for their contributions to making this possible. Without their contributions, this would have been for naught;

Commander Argus - Website manager extrodinaire

Mattb3671 - Co-host excellente

Triaxx - Co-co-host excellente

CaptainKodak

TexasDad

Classic Cowboy

Blackbird

AtomicFire

King in Yellow

Cpneb

Starving Lunatic

Aeden Cameron

Failte200

WesUAH

JPMod

G-Go

Surforst

VRWC

Visigoth29527

MrDrP

Molloy

A. Markov

Twila Starla

Johnrie18

The Humbug

SassMasterGeneral

Spectre666

S-Chrome

Nidoking16

Campy

Hobnob-rev

Scoutcraft Piratess

Whitem

Beeftony

Weirdbard

Slyrr

Yvj

NoDrogs

Pharaoh Rutin Tutin

Star-Eva01

Drakkenfan


End file.
